Football season is finally in full swing and all I can say is hallelujah! Well, actually I have a few more items to declare and that's the reason for this little piece. Barely two weeks into the season and already several things have struck me and I've just got to get them off my chest. So indulge me, dear readers, while I vent my spleen and whatever else needs ventilating.
Sirens: Air raid sirens are the latest in obnoxious noise making in college football. To the best of my knowledge the Houston Cougars were the first and most egregious offenders on this score. Perhaps the blaring of sirens after Cougar touchdowns dates to the John Jenkins/Andre Ware/David Klingler era. Regardless, the U of H has been performing this act of aural idiocy for quite some time and it seems to be catching on as I recently heard it in Ames, Iowa of all places. The half-minute shrieking that overwhelms the cheers of the crowd after a Cyclone touchdown is all the reason I need to hope Iowa State never scores again. This nonsense belongs in the scummy digs of an NBA arena, not a college football stadium.
Bronco Mendenhall's Attire: I have nothing against the BYU Cougars, or head coach Bronco Mendenhall for the matter of it, but his wife needs to slap some sartorial sense into his blonde head. During last weekend's clash with the Texas Longhorns Mendenhall sported a tee shirt on the sidelines.
Now this was not a spring practice in March, it was a nationally televised game in September. And nobody is asking the guy to trick himself out like Pat Riley or Liberace, but is it really to much to ask that he dress slightly nicer Seth Sophomore on his way to Denny's at 2 a.m. after a night of Red Bull and Smirnoff Green Apple?
And if he's just got to rep the "band of brothers" slogan that adorned his shirt, he can get it printed on a baseball cap. I suspect he can afford the customized silkscreening.
Quarterback Draw: I would argue that, yard for yard, there is no play in college football that is more consistently successful than the quarterback draw. Rarely, but rarely, does this play fail. A poorly executed or ill-timed QB draw will still get you a couple of yards. Do it well and at the right time and your quarterback is likely to pick up 15. Were I a college offensive coordinator with a reasonably fast quarterback at my disposal I would run the QB draw three times per game, minimum. Without fail.
Instant Classics: The college football season is still in its infancy and we've already seen two instant classics. Baylor's upset of TCU and Michigan's miraculous triumph over Notre Dame in the first ever night game at "the big house" were both first-class football entertainment. The latter was particularly amazing with 35 points scored in the fourth quarter and 21 of them in the final minute and 10 seconds. With the increasing refinement of the passing game in college football almost anything is liable to happen.
Black Unis: I've had it up to here with the bastardization of school colors in favor of profits and hipness (as opposed to cool). Specifically, I'm disgusted with the integration—sometimes overwhelmingly—of black into college football uniforms. The latest offender is Arizona State, whose school colors are maroon and gold, but whose football team wore black jerseys against Missouri this past weekend.
I understand that black gear sells well with the kiddies. I understand that black unis may possibly help recruiting. And I understand that the profit motive and wins on the field trump principle and tradition every single time. I understand it. And I don't like it one bit.