Nimrod Quote of the Week: Compliments of Matt Millen during the Red River Shootout: "I'm amazed at the access Mack Brown allows the Longhorn Network!" As if the Longhorn Network is Al Qaeda looking to steal Brian Harsin's tactical gems on aerial bombardment. No wonder the Detroit Lions went 0-90 while Millen was the GM.
Nimrod Play of Every Week: I'm not even a coach, but one thing that never fails to drive me up a wall is punt returners making a fair catch inside the 10-yard line. Special teams coaches insistently tell their returners to camp at the 10-yard mark and to back up under no circumstances. If they have to back up, they are supposed to let the ball go because chances are excellent it will bounce into the end zone. But do they listen? Time and again returners fail to heed this simple rule, and they cost their team 11 to 19 yards of field position because of it. Austin Zouzalik, incidentally, was guilty of this very error against Kansas State.
The Grass Is Sometimes Browner: So how are our old friends the Colorado Buffaloes doing under new head coach Jon Embree, in their new conference, the Pac 12? As much as it tears me up to report, not so swift. The Buffs are now 1-6 following a 52-24 loss to the Washington Huskies. Their lone win came over 3-3 Colorado State of the Mountain West Conference. And with games remaining against Oregon, Arizona State, Arizona, UCLA, Utah and Southern Cal, the Buffaloes may be staring down the barrel of a 1-12 season. And you thought the Red Raiders had it tough.
Aw, Isn't That Heartwarming? How strange it is that whenever football media report on two evenly matched players competing for the same starting position, they are invariably the best of friends. The media are at great pains to tell us about how they room together, share the same toothbrush, wear one another's clothing, and how they go into hysterics whenever the other suffers an injury. Don't it just bring a tear to your eye? Just once I would like to hear about two competitors who despise one another, fight every day in practice, and douse the other's jockstrap with bhut jolokia juice. You know danged well it happens, and you know the media will never tell us about it.
Bubble Jumped the Shark: Speaking of things that have jumped the shark, the phrase "jumped the shark" has jumped the shark, and this is the last time I'll use it. And one thing in college football that has passed its sell-by date is the bubble screen. And I don't say that, by the way, just because the Red Raiders average 1.2 yards per bubble screen attempt, which they probably do. No, the bubble screen seems to have outlived its usefulness all across the fruited plain. Defenses have seen this play so often that defensive backs automatically salivate like Pavlov's borzois whenever they see a bunch formation. Personally, I just cringe on behalf of the poor patsy who has to catch the ball.