WELCOME TO HD ONLY - HD’s WEEKLY ONE-STOP SHOPPING FOR PREMIUM INSIDER NOTES - ONLY FOR HD MEMBERS!!
(SO LET’S KEEP WHAT’S POSTED - HERE - IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN).
IF YOU READ ONLY ONE THING AT HD - AND WE WANT YOU TO READ EVERYTHING, THEN PULL UP A BAR STOOL AND CONVERSE ABOUT IT IN HD’S ATTACK-FREE COMMUNITY - READ HD ONLY!!
HAVE AT IT!
I’M NOT GOING TO LIE - I WAS PUMPED FOR MY MAN “CHRISTMAS”
So when I saw the pictures on social media of incoming freshman DT D’Andre Christmas-Giles moving into his dorm room at Texas on Monday, there was a silent cheer considering what the kid has been through.
He missed most of his freshman high school football season after being ruled academically ineligible. And then he had to sit out his junior year after transferring to St. Augustine HS in New Orleans.
Not that there was any doubt he’d be admitted and move in - exactly when he told me he would - just sayin. There was a silent cheer for my man DCG.
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF … AND TO YOU ALL?!?!?
At the risk of yours and my sanity, I’m foolishly going to write one more attempted update item - scratch that - one more urban myth about a one-time, 5-star basketball recruit from the Austin area.
I believe he went by the last name of Allen, but who knows? Maybe it was Fallon. Or Palin. Hell, who knows what it was?!?!?
The myth goes WHN (what’s his name?) was leaning Texas, then Houston, then Kansas, then Texas, then Houston, then China, then Houston - then a pause for a senior trip, then Texas, then Houston or was it was Kansas? - then Texas, definitely Texas, like really, really Texas and then Houston, definitely Houston, like really, really Houston.
Then silence. Like stunning silence. Amazing silence. Never-been-seen-before-kind-of-silence. Especially from a one-time, 5-star. Then still even more of that unicorn-like silence.
So if I tell you Jarrett Allen is expected to be enrolled at Texas by the weekend, would you believe me? Hell no you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t believe it either until I hear the kid has signed scholarship papers, which starts the process of enrollment (verifying transcripts and certifying admittance to the school).
If I heard WHN had signed scholarship papers, I might think about believing it. But I still wouldn’t believe it. Not until I heard - no, wait - not until I saw him (even by someone posting a photo of WHN on social media) with clearly marked identifiers of the Texas campus in the background.
Only then would I believe it. And maybe even then I wouldn’t believe that WHN was, in fact, going to Texas.
Now, if he signed scholarship papers and enrolled in classes by this weekend AND took part in a workout with the rest of the Longhorns (coaches can work with a player 2 hours per week in the summer) - well, then, and ONLY THEN would I believe WHN was going to be a Texas Longhorn.
I’m told even though WHN didn’t sign a letter of intent during the spring signing period (April 13 - May 18 … dates now burned into my psyche … thanks to WHN … and my inability to take a sanity-saving vacation because I ridiculously thought there might be resolution to the urban myth!!). Where was I, oh yeah, LOI guidelines kick in once a student-athlete begins taking part in workouts at a school. That’s what I was told by someone who gets paid to know things like that.
So, why am I wasting your time with all of this? With yet another, F-U-Chip, patience-exhausting, emotion torture fest, hope-raising-only-to-F-me-again piece of rambling, make-it-stop-before-I-punch-you-Chip diatribe about WHN here in HD ONLY tonight?
Am I sick and twisted and now taking out my own frustrations on you for having to chase this urban myth the way I had to chase Nikki Thomas in high school? (Something about girls named Nikki! Total aside, Ryan Leaf, yes that Ryan Leaf, was married to a Nikki - total smoke show! Met her when I covered the Cowboys and Leaf, yes that Leaf, actually started at QB for the Cowboys.)
Am I dragging you through this simply because I’m incoherent and running on vapor after making one too many phone calls to Waco and writing one too many stories about Baylor doing a college athletics re-enactment of the Hindenburg?
(FYI HD community - I feel uniquely qualified to write about Baylor’s situation, because I went to SMU and watched my alma mater master that re-enactment.)
Or am I dragging you all through this one more time because I hear Texas moved all in, and there is now the opportunity for the Allen-Fallon-Palin-WHN family to have twin towers on the 40 Acres?
Those of you patient, beleaguered, insane souls who have read every one of these foolhardy urban myth accounts about a one-time, 5-star basketball recruit from the Austin area - with more plot twists than a girls’ 10th-grade sleepover - know what that means.
I’m now going to take a page out of Higs’ book of Higdonese - aka the art of trying to tell you things I can’t really tell you while giving you a code to further try to tell you things I can’t really tell you while letting you know I’m eventually going to tell you what it is I can’t tell you or what it is I’m trying to tell you through code in a PSD tell-all. Capeeche?
There are and have been more moving pieces to this urban myth than the shattered shards of glass created by my daughter fumbling her iPad Air 2 last week. (That reminds me, I need to call You Break It, I Fix It and order a new screen.)
Watching that happen in the slow-motion hell those costly fumbles always seem to happen in reminds me of following this very urban myth. Slow motion. Frustration. Rinse and repeat.
And of course making sense of all this is about as futile as gluing my daughter’s screen back together.
BECAUSE IT’S COLLEGE HOOPS RECRUITING!!!!
Which has its own zip code in Crazytown. One day, when it’s all said and done, I’ll write a recap (and you still probably - scratch probably - won’t believe it!!!), because this one, single, solitary urban myth has its OWN CITY BLOCK IN CRAZYTOWN!!!
And if I ever come face-to-face with a certain one-time, 5-star hoops recruit from the Austin Area - maybe sooner rather than later - I will hopefully be able to laugh about it all. Hopefully, you’ll be able to laugh about it all, too.
But that would require you to believe there was hope. And I wouldn’t dare lead you to believe there was hope. Not now. Not after all these HD ONLYs we’ve been through together. The slow motion. The frustration.
That’s up to WHN now …
SPEAKING OF BAYLOR ….
There’s more bad news coming.
Baylor announced it was cooperating with the NCAA. If that’s true, BU should simply FedEx a copy of the Pepper Hamilton report to Indianapolis. And then duck.
When I heard Baylor had hired former Wake Forest coach Jim Grobe to be interim football coach, I didn’t believe it.
BU could have offered $6 million per year and gotten a proven P5 football coach who would have softened the blow of losing Art Briles and given the program a chance to save its 2016 class and keep recruiting well going forward.
So I didn’t get it.
Then I heard what is believed to be in the Pepper Hamilton report, and I actually pictured Jim Grobe as Forrest Gregg at SMU after SMU got the Death Penalty.
Don’t know if it will be anywhere near that bad. But I actually had someone with knowledge of the situation tell me today, “It’s SMU circa 1983 all over again.”
Gawd, I hope not - for BU’s sake.
I was told Phil Bennett could have stayed on as interim FB coach if he agreed to kick off six football players. I’m told he refused. So BU approached Mack Brown, who wasn’t interested in an interim position. Then on to Grobe.
I’m told three of the six players are RB Devin Chafin, RB Shock Linwood and WR K.D. Cannon. I’m still trying to confirm the other three players.
As I reported already this week, BU women’s basketball coach Kim Mulkey, I’m told, is being courted heavily by LSU, where her son, Kramer, plays baseball and near where her mother still lives.
I’m told BU’s new leadership right now, without a true president or athletic director - is new regents chair (as of today - June 1) Ronald Murff and Houston big-money guy Bob Beauchamp, whose name is on Baylor’s new athletics nutrition center.
I’m told there’s a takeover going on involving a “new guard” of big money that includes Beauchamp that is freezing out the “old guard” of big money, which includes Drayton McLane, whose name is on BU’s $296 million football stadium (opened in 2014).
“The old guard is being stiff-armed right now, and there will be a day of reckoning for that,” one old-guard big money BU donor told me.
AUGIE GARRIDO: “THEY HANDLED IT RIGHT”
I asked Augie Garrido if he wanted to be a head coach somewhere else, and he texted me back: “I’m staying at Texas. They handled it right.”
That’s probably a relief to Texas fans after the Game Of Thrones departures of Mack Brown and Rick Barnes in which you could see the bullets hitting two of UT’s most successful football and hoops coaches - you just had to determine which grassy knoll on the 40 Acres they were coming from.
The biggest reason Texas “handled it right” is because Augie is getting his full salary ($1.1 million) for 2016-17 as a special assistant to AD Mike Perrin instead of the $300,000 buyout in his contract.
And we can take odds right now as to whether Augie will need to be at his desk in Austin or at the Rusty Pelican in Newport Beach in order to carry out his special assistant duties for the next year.
Hey, I ain’t mad. Good work, if you can get it. Just sayin.
If you’ll recall, DeLoss Dodds was openly critical of Augie and where the baseball program was four years ago in an interview with Sports Illustrated.
If you were making wagers on which of the big three coaches (Augie, Rick and Mack) was likely to have his tenure end first, the common-sense bet was on Augie.
But right when it appeared Augie’s program had gotten stale, his teams would bounce back with a run to the postseason (see the 2012-13 season followed by the CWS run in 2013-14, for example, or last year’s run through the B12 tourney).
So Augie ended up outlasting Rick and Mack. Not that it’s some achievement. But when you stop and think about just how damn successful Augie’s career has been, it’s no damn wonder he lasted the longest.
The guy’s the best ever as a coach in his sport by the most important measuring stick that matters to you and me - wins.
There will never be anyone like him - or as successful - in all likelihood in today’s hummingbird patience society.
I have to share this story about Augie. It is my absolute favorite - among many.
I was on a first date at Vespaio on South Congress way back in 1999. And as we were finishing up, I spotted Augie across the restaurant sitting with a couple fellows, sharing some red wine, laughing and having a good time.
I told my date we should go over and say hi. I told her three things were going to happen:
#1 … “Augie is going to get my name wrong.” (because the first four years he was at UT, he always got my name wrong - chet, chuck, you name it. Hilarious.)
#2 … “His eyes are then going to go straight to your boobs.” (She had 36DDs)
#3 … “He’s going to drop Kevin Costner’s name before we walk away.”
We walked over, and Augie said, “Charlie! What’s going on?” His eyes went straight to my date’s boobs, and when I asked him how his summer was going, he said, “Just finishing up some reshoots on the movie with Kevin (Costner).” The movie was “For Love Of The Game” with Costner and Kelly Preston in which Augie had a nice cameo role.
One. Two. Three. Check. Check. Check. My date couldn’t stop laughing.
When Augie found out I was getting married a year later, he smiled, looked at me and said, “Why? Chip. Why?” It was one of the first times he got my name right!
“I’ve got three houses I own but no longer live in. So rent, don’t buy.”
Like a lovestruck puppy, I asked him, “You don’t think you’ll ever get married again?”
“Why?” he shot back. “I’m 62 years old and can still get whatever (deleted) I want.”
And, by God, every time I saw him at Sullivan’s or Eddie V’s downtown after that - he was right!!
So, here’s to Augie, a true one-of-a-kind and here’s hoping he always gets in the right car at the valet stand (and checks to make sure the headlights are on - as we all should!).
He’s the best and will be missed!