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Week 3: BRO's College Football Viewing Guide

Sep. 16 -- We give you the only preview you could possibly need for week three of college football...

FRIDAY

Arizona State at UTSA
6:30 p.m., ESPN2
ASU -19.5

Remember when we told everyone during the 2014 recruiting cycle that UCLA should be recruiting Manny Wilkins and that he had a chance to be a really good college quarterback, with the skills to be an effective passer but also the athleticism to be a dynamic runner, and that he'd be a particularly good fit in a spread system like UCLA was running at the time? Well, dude has rushed for nearly 150 yards through two games and passed for 531 more and looks like one of the more dangerous quarterbacks in the league through the early going. SO IT GOES.

ASU 45, UTSA 24

SATURDAY

No. 2 Florida State at No. 10 Louisville
9:00 a.m., ABC
FSU -2

Verified piece of crap and excellent football coach Bobby Petrino has once again turned Louisville into a top 10 team. The Cardinals have looked wildly explosive through two games, with Lamar Jackson looking like a mixture of Al Bundy in the state championship and Uncle Rico throwing the ball over them mountains. Florida State is one of the most talented teams in the country, though, and if Jameis Winston shows up to give a pep talk at halftime, all bets are off.

Louisville 34, Florida State 31

Idaho at Washington State
11:00 a.m., Pac-12 Network
WSU -25

You know things are bad for the Cougars when there’s actually a line set on one of these cupcake games. Idaho is a bad team that lost to Washington by all of the points, but Washington State might be teetering on the brink of complete collapse for the dread pirate Crazypants.

Washington State 35, Idaho 21

Colorado at No. 4 Michigan
12:30 p.m., Big Ten Network
Michigan -20

You want to know how bad the Pac-12 South is? Colorado has looked the best of any team in the division, and it’s not even really close. While we think the Buffaloes are certainly substantially improved from last year, you don’t go from worst to first in college football without some precipitous dropoff from the teams ahead of you. This is an interesting game. Michigan has looked good beating up on high school-level teams, but this will be the Wolverines’ first game against a Power 5 opponent. This might sound crazy, but 20 points seems like a lot – Colorado has looked legitimately good. Michigan will still win because Jim Harbaugh probably eats babies, but we think it could be close.

Michigan 31, Colorado 21

No. 22 Oregon at Nebraska
12:30 p.m., ABC
Nebraska -3

Why preseason rankings are nonsense: if you just watched the first two games of the year for each of these teams without any preconceived notions, you would almost certainly have the Cornhuskers ranked around 20 or so and Oregon falling somewhere around wherever Arizona State is ranked (which is to say, not). The Ducks’ defense looks just as gentle, soft, and giving as it did last year, while Nebraska looks like it used its physical mauling of UCLA in the bowl game to jump start its 2016 campaign. The Huskers will be just a little too physical for the finesse Ducks.

Nebraska 38, Oregon 31

No. 1 Alabama at No. 19 Ole Miss
12:30 p.m., CBS
Alabama -10.5

"It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have" -- Unforgiven

That’s what Alabama does: it makes you think of brutal quotes from Westerns during beatdowns of USC to adequately describe the level to which it simply ruins other teams. Ole Miss is a nice enough team that actually beat Alabama last year, but Bama is operating at a different level right now.

Alabama 31, Ole Miss 14

Idaho State at Oregon State
2:00 p.m., Pac-12 Network
No line

Who cares?

Oregon State 48, Idaho State not that many

No. 17 Texas A&M at Auburn
4:00 p.m., ESPN
Auburn -3.5

We are none of us Nostradamus, but if we had to guess Texas A&M was anything after that first game, we’d say they’re probably pretty average. A pretty average team would lose to Auburn on the road this Saturday. If the Aggies win? We might be able to re-contextualize that opening weekend loss for UCLA a bit.

Auburn 27, Texas A&M 24

No. 12 Michigan State at No. 18 Notre Dame
4:30 p.m., NBC
Notre Dame -7.5

Anger McRedface somehow didn't explode any blood vessels in his broad red face in the Notre Dame's opening week loss to Texas, so maybe he's turning over a new leaf. The Irish should be able to take this one at home against a Michigan State team that is probably going to end up being pretty bad at throwing footballs, which is a key part of the sport.

Notre Dame 27, Michigan State 17

No. 2 Ohio State at No. 14 Oklahoma
4:30 p.m., FOX
Ohio State -2

Ohio State lost approximately 17 starters from last year but is somehow the No. 2 team in the country because Urban Meyer is one of the top three coaches in the sport along with Nick Saban and Tom Herman and recruits -- at all times -- like he's going to be fired if he doesn't close on every single target the Buckeyes are after. Oklahoma lost to one of the best coaches in the country in week one, and the Sooners will lose to another one in week three.

Ohio State 34, Oklahoma 31

USC at No. 7 Stanford
5:00 p.m., ABC
Stanford -9

The last time USC was around a 10-point dog, the Trojans got smoked like Alabama was a 70-year old woman at a slot machine in Reno and USC was a pack of Pall Malls. Stanford isn't Alabama, but the Cardinal beat USC twice last year pretty handily, and the Trojans are more banged up than they were for either game last season. Clay Helton will still be searching for his first victory as USC's official head coach over a Power 5 opponent after this one.

Stanford 37, USC 24

Portland State at No. 8 Washington
5:00 p.m., Pac-12 Network
No line

Stable programs in the Northwest don't lose to Portland State -- yes, we're looking at you, Washington State.

Washington all of the points, Portland State none of them

UCLA at BYU
7:15 p.m., ESPN2
UCLA -3

BYU is not a good team.

UCLA 31, BYU 24

Utah at San Jose State
7:30 p.m., CBS Sports Network
Utah -13

Well, this is a damn weird line. San Jose State isn't expected to be very good this year, but we're guessing Vegas wasn't impressed with Utah beating a not good BYU team by one and only beating Southern Utah by 24. The Utes are in the post-Kylie Fitts era now, so it's going to be interesting to see what that defensive line looks like without him. We have a feeling this might be a bit more uncomfortable than Utes fans would wish.

Utah 24, San Jose State 17

No. 11 Texas at California
7:30 p.m., ESPN
Texas -8

Don't look now, but Texas is a real team again, with a quarterback who can throw footballs and everything. California is trending back toward not being a real football team, despite having a quarterback who can throw footballs and everything, largely because it has a defense that doesn't show much interest in stopping other football teams from gaining many yards and many points. #Analysis.

Texas 45, California 35

Hawaii at Arizona
7:45 p.m., Pac-12 Network
Arizona -24.5

This is Hawaii's fourth game of the year! This is also the third time in four weeks that Hawaii has traveled over 3000 miles to play a football game! Hawaii is so sleep deprived that they might even make a very bad Arizona team look OK!

Arizona 38, Hawaii 14


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