OK, we'll make this quick. We'll summarize the 39 pages of the NCAA's final brief on the merits of its Anti-SLAPP motion to throw out Todd Mcair's lawsuit.
1) It's all Todd's fault, the NCAA argues. He had a chance to come clean and he didn't. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for Todd McNair.
2. That phone call? You ask about that phone call. It wasn't exactly a false statement, sure maybe it was wrong and misleading, but they're making way too much about those little details like who called who and what year it happened. It's hard to get everything right. We missed by only a year.
3. And of course how could we not believe the multiple felon heading to prison who was suing Reggie Bush about what occured. Do you really think he'd lie? Not often you get witnesses like that.
4. And how could you not trust our panel of legal experts giving up their time and flying out to Tempe, Ariz. in the middle of the winter from places like Nebraska and Philadelphia and St. Louis whose only interest was in getting this right.
5. Could anyone have kept to the letter of the law any better than these dedicated public servants? Emails? What emails? We don't remember anything being said about emails? There were emails? Oh, those emails? They merely showed a sincere desire to get it right. Lynch mob mentality? Hostility? Not a chance. Did we mention they were all dedicated law professors? Well most of them were.
6. But what about our photo? We've got a photo. Did you see our photo? Doesn't that prove something? And even if it doesn't, it's a cool photo, don't you think?
7. And Todd McNair isn't going to win this thing anyway so who cares. Just dismiss it now. It's been going on for years. We've got other really important business to attend to.
8). And who could possibly believe that "far-fetched theory" that these wonderful folks from the Committee on Infractions would have conspired to convict Todd McNair just to be able to give USC 15 times the penalties the university would have gotten for a simple amateurism volation for Reggie Bush? That's crazy talk. No way it would have been a problem for the Committee on Infractions and the investigtive/enforcement staff after the longest running investigation in NCAA history to give USC a slap on the wrist. They just wanted to do what was right.
9. And even if what the NCAA published was wrong, they say, it wasn't really all that malicious. Todd needed to take a five-year break from his football career anyway after all those middle-of-the-night phone calls he had to take. We were just doing him a favor.
10. And finally, so what if we got it wrong, we didn't mean to. Just our opinion here. Everybody's got opinions. That's not against the law, is it?
OK, we kid because we can no longer take these folks seriously. There is so much wrong with this brief from our understanding of the facts of the case, we pass this along to you.
The good news here: A date has been set to argue this on the merits. That will be Tuesday, Sept. 8, at 1:30 p.m., the Court tells us, at the Second District Appeals courtroom in the Ronald Reagan State Office Building downtown.
But better than our telling you what we've all seen in various forms over the years here, just go to RESPONDENT'S FINAL BRIEF here and decide for yourself. You'll see some familiar themes.
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