Why USU78 calls the "y" 7? Find out!

What does ___ and the seven deadly sins have in common? Find out!

I have been referring to USU's parochial neighbor to the South by "y" {lowercase and lack of definite article intentional} for years. On the USU site, many have been refusing even to list that much when referring to our second-oldest rival. I propose now a number rather than a letter or a blank when referring to the parochial institution. That number is "7." There are two reasons for this:

1. The athletic conference to which 7 belongs is peopled by 7 and 7 others, all of which are hangers-on, bound to do the bidding of 7 in all that 7 demands of the 7 others.

2. There were, historically, 7 deadly sins -- pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, and sloth --- all of which 7 is guilty of -- in spades. 7, its administrators, supporters and students, are all guilty of all 7. May I elaborate?

a. Pride. Both the institution, supporters and students of 7 are guilty of this first, and therefore worst, of all the 7 sins of 7. It is this sin that brought down Coriolanus, blinded the King of Thebes, and led to the de facto and de jure head of 7 to declare its supporters and students to be arrogant. This arrogance has led to 7's undisputed reputation as the most hated institution of [alleged] higher learning in the US.

b. Greed. By the admission of its administration, its supporters, its students, and toadyish sportswriters, it is Greed for more consumer dollars and Greed for more broadcast advertising dollars that have been the basis for all conference membership and scheduling decisions by 7 since about 1961.

c. Lust. Lust can be defined as an uncontrolled and uncontrollable passion for that which satisfies the basest of desires. It is hardly to be distinguished from Greed on the institutional level, but from the standpoint of 7's supporters and students, Lust is that desire which leads the supporters and students to live and die by the fortunes of 7 on the field of athletic endeavor. They are defined by that Lust, which leads to their arrogance and Pride when that Lust is satisfied, and despair when the on-the-field product is unsuccessful.

d. Envy. It was Envy of the academics and athletic achievements of the state institutions in Utah that led the low-level Church bureaucrats, who happened to be graduates of 7, to push 7 as a necessary expression of the Church's interests in the 60s through the present day. That Envy led to expansion of the numbers of students at 7, a comprehensive coopting of the Church's seminary system as a recruiting organization for 7, and the use of donated funds from the general coffers to build facilities and fund programs to try to "keep up with" and later "surpass" [as they believe] the state institutions. Envy of nationally regarded programs, especially on the Left Coast of the US, is daily made manifest in the complaints of 7's noninclusion in the BCS.

e. Gluttony. Not only does 7 not wish to share its fairly recent successes with its oldest rivals [calls for expulsion of Wyoming and others from the MWC and the continued noninclusion of Utah State in the MWC are a daily occurrence amongs 7's faithful], it does not even want any other institution of higher learning to be granted props for what it does well. Thus does 7 express its disgust at having to have home-and-home schedules with its 7 conference partners + USU, complain about having not enough of the take of broadcast revenues, and express flabbergastedness that any other institution could have any program that could be mentioned in the same sentence as, not to mention be equal to or superior to, 7's academic programs. Moreover, 7's policies have been steadfastly to take such actions as would destroy any athletic conference that might compete for consumer and broadcast revenue dollars.

f. Anger. Just mention any of the above to a fan, supporter or administrator of 7, and stand back. Their anger, arising out of their true deep-down belief in their inferiority, especially when they are reminded of 7's true place in the grand scheme of things, can be volcanic. Mercurial was their president in the 60s who oversaw 7's coopting of the Church. Just plain bitchy is the 7 fan of today.

g. Sloth. OK. You've got me here. They are many things which have little to recommend them, but you've got to admire the lack of sloth in 7.


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