I guess we now know the real reason big-time football schools schedule patsies and cupcakes as season openers. Sure, it allows a low-risk environment for the coaches to evaluate replacements for players who have left, and lets the players get the summer kinks out without fearing a loss. But the real reason is so that the coaches can suspend the off-season felons and other miscreants without endangering the won-loss record.

Florida moved the MTSU game to October because of the weather, but the players scheduled to be suspended for the "first game" will be suspended for MTSU in October, not the vital preparation game (Eastern Michigan) this week leading up to the Tennessee game.

I was so depressed after the Vandy game it didn't watch much of the other games on Saturday, so there's a lot of guesswork in the this week's picks.

(9-1-1 last week, 9-1-1 overall)
Mississippi @ Alabama - Ole Miss didn't look very good losing to Memphis last week. They'll look even worse after Alabama gets through with them.. Tide 28, Miss 13

Texas @ Arkansas - This is the game I want to watch. These two teams REALLY don't like each other. The Pigs put the hurt on UT last year, and the Longhorns thirst for revenge. Arkansas warmed up last week with a 63-13 pasting of a pastie (uh patsy), but it gets a little tougher this week. Texas is an 11-point favorite, but I see them winning by less than a field goal.

Auburn @ Mississippi State - Sylvester gets an introduction to the SEC. Auburn ain't Tulane, and State loses 24-10.

Eastern Michigan @ Florida - Watch out for Ivan….Florida 63, EMU 9, Weather channel 32.

Georgia @ South Carolina - The South Carolina faithful think they have a chance in this one. News for the ‘Cocks……Georgia ain't Vandy. Dawgs 21, Chickens 13.

Arkansas State @ LSU - I was really distressed because Vandy couldn't even execute an extra point against the Gamecocks ("Can't they do anything right? Etc. etc.). Then Oregon State misses three, count ‘em three PAT's to lose in OT. LSU will need no such intervention from the gods of football this week. LSU 52, Arkansas State 10.

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