Goodbye SEC, It's Been Fun

A couple of days ago, I get a little e-mail telling me that there was an article I should check out on LSU's site. I was told someone wrote that Vanderbilt should be axed from the SEC. So, I stroll on over to the Tiger Rag, expecting to see some low-rate joker telling me that Vandy hasn't won a lot of football games lately,

. . . so the next logical step in the scientific method is to cut them from the conference. Boy was I wrong. This guy really enlightened me and made me a believer that the Commodores should secede from the conference while we still have a hint of respect left as an institution. Before I drink the Cut-the-Commodores-Kool-Aid, I just want to say a few things.

I can't wait until the day that I write something so profound that I get to be a "featured writer," whose content people have to buy a membership to read. I guess it's a credit to "The Bible of LSU Sports" that they hid this article in the VIP section of the website. In my humble, non-membership writer opinion, this part of the Tiger Rag is the part that should be used to wipe the hindquarters of the tiger.

I understand the writer's and other's point of view. They see the history of SEC football and determine Vanderbilt cannot possibly be as good at football as the other teams, based on records. Historically, that's true. The Commodores haven't won nearly as many football games as the LSU's and Florida's of the conference. I'm not going to sit here and tell you about the potential of the Vanderbilt football team for next year. I don't even want to read about potential. Don't get me wrong, I'm not throwing in the towel on Vandy football. I will sit here, with a hint of subtlety, and inform those of you out there who may hold this position, or one similar, that there are sports played in the SEC that are not named "Football." Breathe. It's going to be alright. We'll make it through this. You ok? Get you some Gatorade. That's allowed because Florida is partially responsible for the lovely electrolyte drink and they contribute to SEC football. Hydrated now? Let's continue.

There was one other sport mentioned in the article. That was basketball. Take a second and see if you can find any oxygen left to breathe in through all the irony. The article was put up on the 24th. It seems to me that there was a scheduled contest between LSU and Vanderbilt 24th. How'd that turn out? I forget, but it doesn't matter because Vandy's not good enough to be in the SEC. Sure. We're still happy for the rest of you that get to stay in the conference. Hooray.

Now, I'm not a big baseball fan. Usually, I like to at least convince myself I can find something better to do with 3+ hours of my life, whether I actually can or not. That aside, I'm pretty sure baseball is still a major sport. I know David Beckham came to the United States so that he and Posh could drive Freddy Adu to soccer practice, but I still don't think soccer has quite made it into the top 3 major sports in America. Tennis lost both Williams sisters for years, and, even though one of them went all revival on us here for the Australian Open, I'm pretty sure tennis hasn't edged out America's pastime to get on the podium. Baseball is still a top sport in America. And, since you brought it up, Vandy has a pretty good baseball team this season. Gee, I hope baseball can stay a sport long enough for us to beat LSU in that too.

Listen, I think it's great that you now have a worldwide outlet to let everyone know that you think certain teams should be ousted from a conference. Why stop at writing? Make a video. Throw it on YouTube. I'd watch it, but only once. Then I'd go watch the Coach O Song video a few more times.

I love Vanderbilt. I love that the Commodores are in the SEC. I love that they are competitive in every sport. I have no problems with LSU. In fact, when they came to Dudley a couple of seasons ago, their players were as fun to talk to on the sideline as any team I have encountered. They're good people. We had a nice chat about Colt David fitting into an equipment box. Anyway, I'm not positive, but I bet Vandy will still be in the SEC for a little while. I'd even venture to say we'll be here long enough to see Nick Saban coach his Alabama Crimson Tide to multiple victories against the Bayou Bengals. That'll be fun. Oh yeah, I'm sure Ross Neltner says hello. He couldn't be reached for comment. Probably because he's too busy knocking off ranked opponent after ranked opponent, but it could be because I didn't ask him for a comment. Hey, I'm just a read without a membership writer. Top Stories