Surely Miss America Has Some Eskimo Boots

Most of me wants to begin this article complaining about the referees, but I have a legitimate fear that an official will read it, force the ‘Dores back into the O-Dome, and call another technical.

The last thing I need to be doing is costing Vandy two more points in the margin of victory (or loss, I'm not sure if that is a stat though) column. I don't know what King Rice did or said, but I'll let this one slide, seeing as his name is King. Let me tell you, growing up would have been a little different if, instead of Loren, people referred to me as King.

Let's look at the bright side. One, Vanderbilt did more than hang with the number one team in the country in their gym: they out-played the Gators for a large portion of the game. Two, the Commodores were all over television, including the Worldwide Leader in Sports. Chads are still hanging, but in the states that are reporting, the Vanderbilt – Florida matchup overshadowed the Red River Shootout on the Miss America Pageant. Oklahoma vs. Texas. In swimsuits and evening gowns. For those of you who don't care about one of the nation's top rivalries spreading into the world of beautiful women, Oklahoma won. I'm not sure why Lauren Nelson, the woman with the winning wave, chose that tiny tiara over the Golden Hat. A huge gold cowboy hat would draw even more attention to Miss America, but that's just logic talking.

How about Hunter Hillenmeyer playing in the Super Bowl? That's my Vanderbilt tie-in so I can talk about the big game. If I'm Rex Grossman, I'm petitioning the NFL to let me wear my Florida Gators jersey in the Super Bowl. And if they let me do that, I'm pushing the proverbial envelope and asking my defense be granted Gator shirts too. The blues and oranges are similar. I don't see why this can't happen. You try to convince anyone on this planet that knows football that Peyton can beat the Bears defense when Brian Urlacher is sporting a Florida jersey.

If the Colts are up by a sizeable margin at halftime, expect Peyton to flash back to his college days and come out and direct Prince's band. As long as he doesn't expose a nipple, I'm all for it. I understand nipple may be a borderline word for some of you, but it's okay, everybody's got at least two.

Alright, time to wrap things up. Georgia comes into Memorial on Saturday. I'm pretty excited. I'll be honest, last week when Ole Miss came in I was concerned about the crowd. I was afraid some of the fans might not have known about the Commodores recent success and, as a result, they might not have been so energetic, but that theory didn't pan out. My faith has been renewed and I look forward to Memorial rocking again Saturday.

In my constant efforts to look out for the well-being of my readers, I hope you all have gone out and gotten your bread and milk. Wednesday night's two inches scared me, good thing it was gone by the time I woke up, so I got to go to class. I was worried I might miss out on an educational opportunity. Right now it's Thursday night, and the snow is coming again. Sure it is. At least fashion is keeping up with the weather. It seems girls these days are wearing tights instead of pants. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against it, but they just look cold. I guess they hold in body heat with the Eskimo boots that are a mainstay in every wardrobe. Maybe they finally made something out of that Lion that's been hanging out with the witch in their. Easy PETA, that was just a literary reference reaching out to my Hooked on Phonics contingent. Thanks for reading, and remember: bridges freeze before roadways.


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