You're Not Tired of Reading About This

The Commodores achieved the impossible: with a win over the nation's number one, Florida, they got NASCAR off of television, if only for a moment.

Driving a car is not a sport. The drivers may very well be athletes, but NASCAR is not a sport. You can try to sell it to me as such, but I don't care what you're selling… If you're wearing a billboard for beer and bleach, I'm not buying from you unless you're an elementary school kid who's trying to fund a trip to New Zealand.

Let me begin by taking it back. Last Wednesday the Commodores managed to pull out a "W" in a "should win" game. That's important. Also important: last Wednesday was Valentine's Day. Cupid forgot to get the directions to my house from Santa again this year. Of all the holiday super heroes, he has shorted me the most. Oh well, I got out of last Wednesday for $3.24. That's a burger, fries, a drink, and an SEC basketball game. I even got a hand on one of those shirts the VU cheerleaders throw out. It's okay that I didn't catch it: it wasn't intended for me, so I felt good about interfering.

Then there was Saturday. The Gators rode their 17-game winning streak into Nashville. The Commodores, being the gracious hosts they are, offered to take the pressure of being number one off Florida's shoulders. Memorial was in rare form. More than 14,000 people took a break from stocking up on milk and bread to pack the gym for Saturday's match-up. Every one of those people was hyped-up: It's been four score and seven years since our forefathers have heard such a rousing version of the Star Spangled Banner.

It was an overall rough day for Florida's Joakim Noah. He started the day off on the wrong foot. It seems the wintry mix that invaded Nashville early Saturday morning really made Noah's hair frizz. On top of that he had to hear the Vandy students tell him he was ugly, when in reality it was because of the weather. Then there was the incident. It seems Vanderbilt coach Kevin Stallings got his hands on a ball that went out of bounds in front of the Vandy bench. Stallings just wanted to take a second to savor the feeling of the ball in his hands with thousands of fans looking on. Unfortunately, as soon as Stallings recovered the dead ball, Joakim saw an NBA Jam 10-Point Hot Spot pop up on the hardwood in Memorial. Noah, being the aggressive player he his, saw the apparent opportunity to eliminate the Commodores' lead in one foul swoop. Since these Hot Spots only last about three seconds, Noah had to act quickly. Although play was dead and the ball would have had to have been relayed to and from the official, Noah still swatted at the ball, still in Stallings' hands. How'd it all turn out? Well the Hot Spot disappeared before anyone else in the gym could see it, and let's just say the final score wasn't the only loss on the day for the furry Florida forward.

In this, the year of the ‘Dores, Vandy has taken 3 of 4 halves from the Gators, and are undefeated against the nation's other top teams, North Carolina, Ohio State and Wisconsin. That optimistic viewpoint is a special treat just for those of you Vanderbilt students who are reading this on your wireless internet from your seats in Memorial. For those of you who are not in Memorial, you better get a move on… It's never too early to get your seats for the Kentucky game.


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