I've emailed nearly every reporter in the state. By the way, the fake restraining order from the actor dressed up in a police uniform? Yeah that was funny, Strickland. Oh ho ho. Check your inbox. Another Cougar football question awaits. Revenge is mine.
desperate I emailed Punchy or whatever his name is over at Al Jazeera Sports
Radio 950. No response. Now, I'm not unreasonable but I just sent
him half a treasure map to a huge, hidden box of chocolate fudge that's nearly as big as his ego. To get the missing half of the map, he
has to get back to me with an honest to goodness news item on the Cougs.
That's right. I'm not going to be ignored, Punchy. Love, Glenn Close.
Some reporters I simply pity. They don't realize who they're dealing with. Oh, I'm unfailingly polite and will continue to be so when contacting them. But I'm invested now. And I will not yield. I will not rest. Well, at least until <air quotes> the incident <end air quotes> is forgotten and my ban in the TV section of my gym is lifted. Don't ask.
Fine, twist my arm. An alleged non-physical but spirited disagreement with a Husky. Just know this: I won. He's no longer a member. Don't mess with Texas. Not that I'm from Texas.
Faced with this paucity of Cougar Football news, I recalled something fellow Coug and PI writer Jim Moore does on occasion when there's little or no news to be found. Always makes for a great read. He turns the column over to readers who've email, tossing in pithy commentary as needed. Super. Problem solved. Wait one..
Nope. Not much there on the Cougs. Did get a missive from a J. Blair of a New York paper but pretty sure it was a crank. Don't think Notre Dame, Michigan and Penn State are joining the Pac-10. That's just kooky talk. However, his ‘Make $1 Million Guaranteed!' pamphlet for only $99.95 is a different story altogether. Apparently all I need is a couch and a phone and hell, I've already got the couch.
And then it hit me. There's a place where dreams are born. A place where we are forever young…a place where we still strap on the helmet…a place where we take the heart from our opponent and walk off the field with his girlfriend as night's curtain falls. A place we faithfully return to like the salamanders return to Capo Soprano. The Holy Grail: The message boards at Cougfan.com.
For any Husky still reading, and I'm guessing I lost you at Hello, I paraphrase Izzy Mandelbaum: Grab your jock, pretty boy (If you need one), its go time.
From Yaki Coug, who's been wondering some of the same things I have: "Any info on Jon Ioane and Daniel Rowlands? ..WSU is rumored to be a very serious contender for both…Columbia River's Bryan Baird and Eddie Vickers ..Ballard's Keauntea Bankhead ..Mercer Island's Alex Gottlieb?" A day later, Yaki asked: "Where is Cameron Colvin from? His forty and shuttle times are tremendous."
All good questions. You set the bar high, Yaki. And Hey Chris Fetters of The Insiders fame: Come back and visit us again – Soon!
Often, some Huskies and Husky fans drop by. Some are knowledgeable and act respectfully. And the board is the better for them. Sadly, there are the others. But that's ok too. They don't realize they're in WAY over their head before its too late. To wit:
From Weiser: "Stick to what you know best: Dresses.. and Lard."
From Felis Concolor: "LOL. Sorry, I need a moment. LOL."
From Rock Strongo: "One thing (we) have in common. Neither one of us went to the UW. Please don't use the word ‘our' (in front of) rivalry."
From Harvey Road, when someone insisted if it hadn't snowed in '92, the UW would have won that Apple Cup; the Cougars only won because of luck: "Drew Bledsoe and I had a good laugh at this post."
Harvey shares a laugh with many people: a fact not lost on a good friend of his.
From Trips Right: "Congrats to Harvey Road on the birth of his second son yesterday. Another Coug in the making.. Word is after the delivery the new Harvey looked up and said "Me and Dr. Ruth had a good laugh about that the last 9 months."
It was all there on the CF.C boards. Analysis on the players, recruits and new coaching staff. A debate on the merits of preseason polls. (Irrefutably proven they warrant little to no merit. Give it up already.) Hilarious offseason threads such as the Friday caption contest.
And a spirited celebration broke out when Cad Tramp made his 1,000th post, a day known hereafter as Cad Tramp Day.
There's tons more but I often put undue strain on my editor with articles far too lengthy. Like a professor once asked me, "What. This is 2200 words long! The answer was Critical Theory. Just ‘Critical Theory'." And I have to run anyway. I have confections to bury, media to annoy and phones to buy. I've got a lot on my plate.
Note: It pained this author not to be able to mention more of you. People like JMK Coug, The Rabid Cat, Idaho Coug Fan, Steeleman, Hawaii Coug, Go Cougs Baby, Hammer 22, Blackie, Indio Coug, Rack, Wrestlerr 896, No Ho Coug, Cda Coug, Save Ferris1, KJ Stoph1, Tiki Coug, Shakers, CrimsonNGray, Coug Maw, 74 Coug, Un Disgusted Grad: You impress me daily with your analysis, news, links and wit. And after filing, I'll recall another name I forgot to mention and throw up my hands in disgust. But I'll refocus. Master plan Step 2. Gonna email Punchy a picture once a week: A Cinnabon with a napkin blindfold and mock ransom note. I can't just turn it off you know.