CF.C Mailbag

MANY QUESTIONS received on last Saturday's game have already been covered, so we won't revisit those here. Of course, we'd be remiss if we didn't touch on at least one aspect from South Bend. But me and my imaginary friend, Jimmy, have other matters, more pressing, to consider. Namely, clowns.

From: Anonymous

This isn't football related.  I'm afraid of clowns.  What can I do to get over my fear?


A:  Stay away from Montlake.


From: Anonymous

I thought Allen Thompson was a sophomore eligible, but I saw him listed as a junior.  Why did he not get a redshirt for last year, or is there some sort of appeals process he must go through?


A: Excellent question, but again I say "Damn you, sir," since it requires me to delve into the NCAA rules book.  Sorry, I am ‘exhausted and emotional due to lack of sleep; therefore, that statement was one I otherwise would not have made.'  (I miss RN.)


Technically, you cannot apply for medical hardship redshirt status until after your regular career is ‘over' - so you may see Thompson listed as a junior.  However, AT in 2001 is a textbook case of that rule so he should get that year back.  The only reason I say "should" is because its the NCAA.  Allow .01% of a chance when speaking about that fine institution.  But in my book, it's clearly a slam-dunk.


From: Dave N.

What kind of effect will the high altitude have in Colorado this week?


A: Depends on who you ask.  If you're an opponent of Northern Arizona when Robb Akey coached there, he'd have helpfully called your team beforehand to see if you wanted oxygen.  (Damn, I like Akey.)  If you're Washington State, you consult with some people and they tell you its 48 hours before that oxygen debt really has any effect.  So you fly your team into Colorado Friday night, play Saturday morning and leave shortly thereafter. 

And you say you're going to ignore the chatter and just go play football - which is exactly what coach Bill Doba said in his PC.  (Damn, I like Doba.)


It's a nice card to play if you're the home team at high altitude.  If you and the media stress it enough, players might even convince themselves of it - before, during and after the game.  The opinion here is this veteran team won't be affected by all the talk and start looking for signs of it.  This game will not be won nor lost because of the altitude. 


From: Steve B.

What's up with the kickoffs?  Why are we squibbing everything?


A:  Coach Doba would, obviously, like to boom the ball out of the end zone.  But right now, the Coug kickers just aren't getting the ball deep enough.  Coach Doba felt it best last Saturday to squib kick; get that ball bouncing around.  However, during warm-ups in Colorado, Doba will observe Graham Siderius to see if he can boot ‘em consistently into the end zone and/or deep.  If not, the squib will most likely be in play.  Doba has expressed confidence Siderius will improve on his distance.  Stay tuned.


The Jimmy Mail

From: Anonymous

..Their (sic) is no (Coug) team that as good as UW and you better beleive (sic) it and wize (sic) up.. Your (sic) not good and you can't compet (sic) and we don't take no 26 loosing (sic) seasons..


A:  Jimmy consulted several linguists in order to be able to respond:

Your letter is always sometimes compliance.  There are more than enough ice cubes and even less but never Huskies monkey will wrenches.  Indeed, sing mountain tops on the wings of toilet brushes but only until critical mass.  Count less than 12 walnuts Purple Squirrel, but know all is well with Montlake's paper towels.  Jimmy salutes you.


From: John P.

I'm not blaming the refs for (Saturday) but they missed tons of calls.  Doesn't it seem there are terrible calls every week and NOT just against the Cougs, but all over college football?


A:  Yes.  Jimmy has seen calls and non-calls that are simply egregious.  Jimmy also believes you have to overcome that adversity.  Jimmy believes there will be plenty more of those made against the Cougs this season - just as there will be for every other team.


Keeping that bottom line on overcoming adversity very much in mind.. Jimmy also thinks the zebras this year are well on their way to sucking more than the zebras have ever sucked before.


From: Brian A.

How could the AP poll possibly have Arizona ranked ahead of WSU?  What the (doggone heck) is wrong with those (gosh darn) sportswriters?


A:  Before exploring this, Jimmy would like to go back a bit.  The previous week, Arizona had 7 points in the AP.  As inexplicable as that was, consider what happened next.  Arizona got pasted 59-13 by LSU.  Yet ‘Zona moved up in the AP after the LSU game, receiving 9 votes. 


Let Jimmy say that again.  Arizona picked up 2 more votes in that poll AFTER losing by 46 points to LSU. 


Jimmy believes an investigation is in order.  Jimmy is aware the AP doesn't release the names of its voters nor how they voted.  But the media sludge who voted that way messed with the wrong imaginary friend.  First off - Jimmy wants to check a certain fax machine in Tempe, Arizona.  Jimmy's not ruling out the possibility Crazy Dick Sr. is somehow involved.  Jimmy senses a conspiracy.




We'll answer as many letters as possible each week. 

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