OREGON STATE at WASHINGTON STATE
Fun with stats: Beavo QB Shipwreck Anderson completed passes to nine different players last Saturday, unfortunately one-third of those were Huskies.
Conference of Champions Czar Tom "Woodrow" Hansen announces that—for this game only—penalty boxes will be installed on each sideline.
ARIZONA at CALIFORNIA
More fun with stats: Holmoenic Cal coach Jeff Tedford notes Bearly able kicker Tyler Frederickson has an 8-18 FG ratio and thinks "if only our QB could put up those kind of numbers, we'd be living in Fat City."
Good news/bad news from Tucson and the Not OK Corral. First the good: The mood has improved dramatically since despotic ruler John Mackovic was canned. Now the bad: They're still crappy.
Pick: GOLDEN BEARS
ARIZONA STATE at UCLA
When Zoned State coach Dirt Koetter tells his Stunned Devils "Act like you've been there before," do you think that by "there" he means the Humanitarian Bowl?
Glad to see Bruin boss Karl Dorrell finally responded to my pressure and reinstated Matt "Dudley" Moore to his rightful role as starting QB. I haven't felt this proud since my "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" mandate came to fruition.
STANFORD at OREGON
Speaking of coaches caving in to the Seer's demands, I'm also pleased to see Lil' Buddy Teevens finally listened to me and named Cool Hand Lewis as starting QB this week. Nice work, you may just make it in the Pac-10 after all, Lil' Buddy. Okay, you won't really, but good job just the same!
As for my dear friends at Nike U, what can I say? Chances are a bye week is all that was needed to get your year back on track…mayhap the two-headed QB will rise from the ashes and return to it's early season glory…perhaps Mike Bellotti will masterfully salvage this sinking season…and maybe, just maybe, the Cubs and Red Sox will—uh, strike that last part.
SOUTHERN CAL at WASHINGTON
I'll be the first to admit it: those two Williams are fantastic athletes, a real joy to watch perform and I always look forward to seeing them play against each other. I especially enjoy their Avon commercials. What's that? You mean we're not talking about Venus and Serena?
LAST WEEK: 3-2