The fact that the
program is based in of one of the most
car-infested beautiful cities in
this great nation is yet another reason for the lousy traffic on Montlake
continued excellence of Husky Football.
Husky fans are
bunch of idiotic mouth breathers some of the best anywhere; people who are
truly dedicated to their triple soy mocha latte Dawgs, even though
most couldn't tell you who the coach is through tough times like these last
couple of years. Fifty Sixty Eighty thousand strong,
these people infest pack Husky Stadium when the sun is shining
week in and week out, never leaving until Nevada got their eighth sack
the final whistle.
Speaking of Husky
Stadium, does anything compare to the UW gameday experience? There is no football facility in the
country that is more
collapsible scenic than the home of the
The view of Mount
better than the view of the field breathtaking, and the nearby
lake offers one of the most unique tailgating experiences in all of college
Is there a
bourgeois better way to get to the game than by boat? This is truly the best way to avoid
the traffic mess on Montlake pregame atmosphere in the country; it combines
the national pastime of tailgating with the potential for pushing UW fans
overboard beautiful natural surroundings of western Washington.
Adding to the
misery experience is the perpetual rainfall Husky Marching
Band. They put on a freak
spectacular show, highlighted by two signature tunes.
The first of these
songs is "Tequila,"
because nobody ever wrote a song about white
zinfandel which adds to the crowd's already-festive mood. The second musical number is the
sickening Husky fight song, to which nobody knows the words, "Bow
Down to Washington."
These two songs
whip the crowd into a
coma frenzy, and soon after they are played, the
Husky team takes the field, clad in their sissy regal purple and gold
The Husky offense
is led by senior quarterback Cody Pickett, the latest in a long line of
injury-prone NFL-caliber quarterbacks at the UW. Pickett has put up inflated big
numbers in the last two years, with the help of a couple of idiots
talented group of receivers.
resurgent running game is led by a pair of youngsters, in Shelton Sampson
and Kenny James.
Windshield-smashing Fullback Zach Tuiasosopo leads the way for the two
talented ballcarriers, who also run behind a consistent ly below average
The Husky defense
is led by a
bunch of sleazy lawyers stout front seven. Big crybaby defensive tackle
Terry "Tank" Johnson is the stopper on the line. And converted safety Greg
Carothers is the emotional wreck leader of the defense from his new
position in the linebacking corps.
The secondary is
manned by a
bunch of guys I've never heard of quality group, which
features a nice contrast of small young and slow experienced
little weasel former coach Rick Neuheisel was fired this summer,
longtime Don James assistant/protégé Keith Gilbertson was named as
the Huskies' new ringleader head coach. After James cried like a little girl
and quit when he got caught cheating left the Husky program, a perceived
lack of toughness set in with his successors.
Gilbertson, much like his mentor,
soon be selling RVs places an emphasis on steroids and $100
handshakes defense and running from the cops the football.
Gilbertson expects a return
the buffet line to the glory days of Husky football, and with the help of
Athletic Director Barbara Hedges, has taken steps to ensure the rowing
and softball football team's continued success.
I just want to finish by saying that I'm
that the big one finally hits Seattle, and UW is washed into the
sound for a clean, hard-fought, drubbing of the Dogs close
I promise to be on my
behavior, and want to wish nothing but the plague best for my
counterparts in purple and gold.
If, when WSU is up by thirty, things begin to get heated, just
remember that this isn't life-and-death, it's much more important it's
only a game.
Enjoy the week, and Go
slap a dog