UCLA at WASHINGTON STATE
This just in: As you know, ESPN Gameday has reneged on setting up shop in Pullman on Saturday for the contest, but Evening Magazine has tentatively agreed to take their place.
From the "every cloud of dust has a silver lining" department: sure, Ontario's Oregon Smith, er, Oregon's Onterrio Smith ran for 285 yards against the Cougs last weekend, but close study of game film reveals it would've only been half that amount had they been playing flag football.
Bruisen coach Slob Toledo not saying which McQB will get the start, Scott McEwan or Ryan McCann, but nobody really McCares one way or the other.
OREGON STATE at SOUTHERN CAL
It's a little known Halloween tradition among the Big Teeth to find the sincerest pumpkin patch in Corvallis and await the return of Dee Andros.
Three scariest costumes at Southern Gal "football" team's Halloween party last night: 3. OJ Simpson, 2. Paul Hackett 1. A scoreboard. Buh-duh-dum.
STANFORD at WASHINGTON
Following yet another come-from-behind, final-play-of-the-game, rabbit-out-of-the-hat, winning-lotto-number, I-found-a-bag-with-a-lot-of-cash-in-it, I-get-the-Playboy-channel-for-free, my-spinster-aunt-just-died-and-left-me-a-bundle win over Arizona State, UW athletic department issues this official statement: "Yes, Coach Neuhiesal has known Mr. Beelzebub for some time, but has made no deals with him or any of his representatives other than the standard contract signed by most Division I-A coaches at one time or another. Any other inquiries regarding this matter can go straight to hell."
From the "soon-to-be-a-bestseller" department: Transforming Vulcan Philosophy into Gridiron Success by Smiley Willingham.
ARIZONA at CALIFORNIA
From the "things are worse than we thought" department: Care Bear coach Tom "My eye for a tie, my chin for a win" Holmoe seen selling his Super Bowl rings at a Berkeley pawnshop.
From the "what a difference a few months can make" department: last summer, former Topcat Richard "Dick" Tomey was just another respected ex-coach down Tucson way. Now, just three-quarters through the first (and only?) year of the Mackovic era, Tomey has become a mythical creature, worthy of songs and shrines paying homage to the glories of his desert campaigns.
PICK: Golden Bears
ARIZONA STATE at OREGON
Following Duck demigod Onterrio "The Green Ghost" Smith's thorough flogging of WSU last weekend, NCAA now considering mandatory testing for bionics.
Is it just my imagination or has Zoned State damn near fallen off the radar this year? Maybe we just weren't ready to say goodbye to Bruce Snyder and Ryan Kealy.
Last week: 2-3
Year to date: 33-10