STANFORD (5-2, 4-2) at ARIZONA (4-5, 1-5)
After predicting a dismal 4 - 7 season for the Mildcats in my preseason Pac-10 preview, I received a "colorful" email from a Zona fan questioning my ancestry, comparing me to an equine's posterior, and thanking me "for the (expletive deleted) bulletin board material!!!" A quick glance at their won-loss record above leads me to believe he placed it on the wrong bulletin board.
Post-game quote from Stunford coach Smiley Willingham after losing in Seattle: "The loss that we suffered was one that gave us two losses." Only a sage like the Science Officer could bring clarity to such a complex issue. I've got goose bumps.
SOUTHERN CAL (3-5, 2-3) at CALIFORNIA (0-8, 0-6)
Noting that Berkeley has the Pac-10's second longest non-winning-season streak of the modern era going (8 years), league czar Boss Hansen warns they may be required to change name to "Golden Beavers," should things not improve next season.
Animal rights activists confront USC athletic department, claim that forcing Traveler the horse to be associated with Trojan football is inhumane.
OREGON (8-1, 5-1) at UCLA (6-2, 3-2)
After slowing to a crawl with a mere 156 yards against the Dirk Devils, blood tests reveal mallard maverick Onterrio Smith is "mostly human."
So Bruisen back DePerks Foster "allegedly" received some "extra benefits," (read: SUV) that violated NCAA rules. Big deal! It's not like he got busted illegally using handicap parking placards or holding marijuana in the rig…er, okay, bad examples.
WASHINGTON (7-1, 5-1) at OREGON STATE (3-4, 2-3)
Beavo teammates refused to sit next to kicker Ryan "Wide" Ceska on flight back from South Central, fearing his bad case of shankitis might be contagious.
Urgent directive from U of W athletic directress, Babylon Hedges to sports information department: any and all references to Cowboy Cody Pickett's sordid rodeo background shall be immediately expunged.
WASHINGTON STATE (8-1, 5-1) at ARIZONA STATE (4-4, 1-4)
Cougar safety Lamont "Thorpe" Thompson's four steals of UCLA passes was the most theft seen in these parts since Kevin "Fingers" Brown was on campus.
QB Jeff "KO" Krohn reportedly has bounced back from the concussion he suffered against Oregon last weekend with no side effects and says, "I'm playing forward looking to State Washington."
Last week: 3-2
Year to date: 36-12