The Crimson Seer's<BR>Pac-10 Picks: week 13

Trojans done good at book-learnin'? Return of The Bruce to Berkeley? Dirk missing that blue turf? All these questions--and more--answered in this week's edition!

Up Ahead

Washington State (9-2, 6-2, Sun Bowl bound)
In a surprise move, Cougar coach St. Mike Price names Nakoa "Keyshawn" McElrath offensive coordinator for Sun Bowl.

Washington (8-3, 6-2, Holiday Bowl bound)
Dog athletic directress Babs Hedges complains about poor treatment in Miami, stating "If the Canes are going to have their way with us, they at least could take us out for a nice dinner first!"

Arizona (5-6, 3-5)
Two words I wish I would've uttered to Bridled Cat coach John "John" Mackovic prior to his leaving that cushy ESPN gig: "Mike Ditka."

California (1-10, 0-8)
Rumor that Berkeley would replace Tom "I own Rutgers!" Holmoe with former Cal and ASU front man Bruce "Will coach for food" Snyder makes about as much sense as NYPD Blue replacing Ricky Schroeder with that Saved By The Bell kid.

Southern Cal (6-5, 5-3, Vegas Bowl bound)
Congrats to Trojan football team and athletic department tutors for placing not one, but TWO "student-athletes" on the All-Academic honorable mention team! (Please ignore the fact that any player nominated by their school gets automatic placement on the honorable mention list. Thank you.) Proof again that at Heritage Hall it's all about books!

ARIZONA STATE (4-6, 1-6)
at UCLA (6-4, 3-4)

Good news, bad news from interim Bruisen coach Roly Toledo.

Bad news: Boozin' QB Cory "the passed-out passer" Paus benched following his second DUI conviction this year. Apparently the snow bank he ran into last year "just came out of nowhere!"

Good news: DeLoan "Ford Tough" Foster is the team's new designated driver! His old friends on the Humanitarian Bowl selection committee are always "away from their desk" when Stunned Devil coach Dirk "Blue Christmas" Koetter phones.

PICK: Bruins

STANFORD (8-2, 6-2)
at SAN JOSE STATE (3-8, 3-5-WAC)

Don't look for the Robber Barons to lose their way to San Jose for a fourth year in a row. However, should they fall to the sputtering Spartans their Seattle Bowl bid would make a helluva lot more sense.

PICK: Cardinal

OREGON STATE (5-5, 3-4)
at OREGON (9-1, 6-1)

What Broadway Joey Harrington needs to win the Heisman: 1) a 700-yard passing performance against Beavos, 2) a Florida driver's license, 3) nine TD passes against Beavos, 4) the "O" on his helmet to stand for "Orlando," 5) personally capture Asshola Bin Laden, 6) five rushing TDs against Beavos, and 7) a Miami Hurricane jersey.

Civil War loss would mean the preseason national champion Big Teeth would be bowl ineligible for the first time since 1998. You know what that means: coach Dennis "I know how Cory Paus feels" Erickson is running out of Mike Riley recruits!

PICK: Ducks




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