Ramble On! Pac-10 Picks, Week 8

HERE'S A STORY about first impressions: A few years ago, I had a job interview at a multi-national bank. After a nervous two-hour wait in the lobby, my interviewer greeted me and we got into an elevator to presumably go to his office. On the eighth floor, an older gentleman (whom I later found out was the bank's West Coast Vice President) gets on the elevator, holding one of those one-liter bottles of Diet Pepsi and cracked some joke about how it was enough sugar for him to last a week.

Now being as naïve as I was, I thought it would be a great idea to tell him it was ok, because the bottle was loaded with "fake sugar." The two men in the elevator gave me a horrified look and my interviewer led me into a small room. The door was shut behind me and all the guy could say was "WHAT sugar?" Apparently, I must've had a cold or something because instead of both men on the elevator hear me describe the sugar as "fake", they thought I said something that rhymed with "rag". (Needless to say, they went with another candidate….)

So to my new best friend Mr. Alex Brink, if you ever thought that your pick and fumble in your debut against Colorado wasn't the greatest first impression, just keep in mind: you didn't call one of the most influential people in the financial world a name best described as a British cigarette. Try living that down! Anyway, good luck this week buddy. I'm taking extra shots before the game in your honor…

UCLA at ARIZONA STATE
Here's an SAT question: If two teams traditionally known for crumbling in November meet in competition in late October, would you rather watch Wife-Swap? Here's an interesting stat: Ahman Green threw for more touchdown passes than Andrew Walter did last weekend. A running back. From Nebraska, mind you. More touchdown passes. Still think you're "better than everyone else, Andy?" As odd as that is, he probably still is. Sun Dirkles

WASHINGTON STATE at OREGON STATE
The Beaver Nation had this game circled this week as one to be incredibly nervous about, but events earlier in the week led to a collective sigh of relief. No, this had nothing to do with the Cougar quarterback situation; it was more the news that my buddy Jeff was not going to make it down to the game. We went down in 2000 and the guy picked a fight with what seemed like every spectator in Macaroni Salad Stadium. You think I'm kidding? That eight-year-old who's still under the bleachers looking for her glasses wishes I was… Cougs

OREGON at STANFORD
As much as so many people must envy Nike Bellotti and the Swoosh tools that he has to be competitive, it's gotta have some drawbacks. While I've never been "connected" (see my opening paragraph), I do still keep in touch with a lot of the guys from my Fraternity. But do you know what sucks about that? About half of them sell insurance or finance mortgages. About every other week, I'll get this call: "Hey, Big Wood! You stopped drinking yet? Of course you haven't, you lush! Say how bout those Cougs! Man, do they ever have a future! Do you ever think about YOUR future, Sherwood?!? I mean, interest rates aren't getting any lower and…click." I can only imagine the calls the "un-stached" one gets these days. We're going with the pity-pick this week: Ducks

WASHINGTON at SOUTHERN CAL
One of my Husky coworkers found my desk this week and proceeded to taunt me about how Washington Football WASN'T getting the proverbial death penalty. This is awesome, I didn't know I was able to brag about this! Anybody ever heard that Chris Rock bit about people who want credit for "stuff they're already supposed to do?" There are over one hundred schools that can brag about this every week, but leave it to a UW grad to make a big deal of NOT being in trouble. I'm sending her an e-mail later bragging about how I paid my water bill on time this month…. Trojans

CALIFORNIA at ARIZONA
Time to ramble: Remember at the beginning of the season when I picked Cal to lose to Air Force. If only I wish I could say I've become more credible…If Urban Meyer and Jeff Tedford had a baby (I'll let you figure out the science in that), would we just call it the big ball of hype? Anyone else remember that 4-2 Mike Price didn't even get an interview for the Zona job? This game has a late start time, because they're still trying to pull Stoops off the field at Autzen. Bears

Last Week: 2-3
Season Total: 29-14

UNCLE WOOD'S FUNTIME GAMBLING GRAB BAG
Whoa, how I loathe UVA!!! And thank you Cowboys for giving away my money! My lone correct pick last week was NC State and the moneyline, but it was barely enough to bring me back to my original $100. I'm going to have one crappy-ass TV by the end of the season. My sister's in Vietnam right now; perhaps she'll bring me back a 19" Sorny. Watch me go for broke this week with games like:

Week 4: ($100)
BYU (moneyline) over Air Force: $25
USC (-34 ½) over Washington: $25
Oregon (moneyline) over Stanford: $25
Michigan (moneyline) over Purdue: $25

Have a question or comment? Need a stock tip? Can't find a date for your High School Reunion (or better yet, your prom?) Hit up the mailbag at ramble_on@comcast.net

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