'Seats' highlight of Martin Stadium renovation

FORGET ABOUT THE 10,000 additional seats, luxury suites, additional ticket windows, wider concourses, improved points of entry and additional concessions. The crown jewel of the plans to renovate Martin Stadium involves an area equally important to everyone from the wealthy alum to the starving undergraduate: The restrooms.

Washington State has, for years, fielded extremely poor restroom ratings when surveying season ticket holders on Martin Stadium facilities. And that feedback hasn't gone unnoticed. In fact, so harsh have the comments been on the subject that the university enlisted the best in the business to design the new restrooms; a design custom tailored for the Cougar Nation.

EnviroSanitation, Inc. (ESI) has been long considered the leader in the restroom industry, specializing in stadiums and arenas throughout the United States and abroad. In addition, the company—based in West Hollywood, Calif.—has custom designed bathrooms for a long list of celebrities, including a $1.5 million Taj Mahel-esque loo at Michael Jackson's infamous Neverland Ranch.

ESI initially sent representatives to visit the Martin Stadium "facilities" during last season's Apple Cup. They were, to say the least, unimpressed.

"It felt like I was walking through a cess-pool by the fourth quarter," Jeffrey Barker, one of the ESI designers who visited Martin last November, told Cougfan.com. "The stench, the filth—it was deplorable. I deeply regretted saying ‘yes' to that second Hot Toddy!"

Barker says his firm's patented "Supra-Flow" toilets will solve much of the inadequacies of the restrooms, but that is just the tip of the iceberg in his rather lofty goals for Martin Stadium's privies.

First, WSU colors—Crimson and Gray—will be the primary shades in each restroom, with the women's lavatories employing pastel versions of those hues.

In addition, the live radio broadcast of each game will be piped in to the restrooms.

"I know I've missed some great athletic feats over the years because of nature's call, " Barker said. "I'm sure most Cougar fans have experienced the same and will appreciate the live broadcast while they're attending to personal business."

ESI has other clever touches in mind—including climate control, soft lighting, WSU logo urinal cakes, and baby changing stations that will resemble miniature football fields—but it is the toilets that will leave fans talking.

"Each toilet will be shaped like a football, but without losing any of the comfort of our high-end models," Barker said. " And I might add, our top sellers have consistently rated higher in ‘seat satisfaction' than any other brand on the market over the last decade."

More intriguing still, each toilet will come equipped with a customized flushing sound effect. Each flush will create the sound of a crowd roar followed by legendary Cougar broadcaster Bob Robertson's trademark "Touchdown, Washington State!"

"If Washington State fans don't leave the game talking about their unique and enjoyable restroom experience, then I haven't done my job!" Barker said. "Taking care of one's unmentionable biological necessities need not be unmentionable any longer!"

Cougfan Top Stories