Ramble On! Pac-10 Picks: Week Two

OK, RAISE YOUR hand if you were still finishing your last beer in the fieldhouse by the time Jerome Harrison had 100 yards and two touchdowns last Thursday? I can only imagine how many people walked into the stadium thinking the scoreboard was broken or we were still playing part of the game from last year. It makes you really wish that real life had Tivo, doesn't it? At one point Washington State was actually on pace to win the game 840-0.

Then Nick Holt, Steven Wichman and some ill-advised tipped passes brought us all back to reality. It never feels great when Idaho plays you close but in all reality it could be a lot worse: you could give up two late touchdowns and lose to an Air Force team that hadn't previously thrown a forward pass since 1986. But I digress, on to the picks:

Send bail money, Mom! We're headed to Reno!!! Not quite Sin City but I'm sure there are a couple of ways to get arrested down there that I've never heard of before. I've learned that the Coug defense is calling itself "The Jungle" this year. Here's hoping they mean it more in a Guns N Roses "You're in the Jungle, baby…you're gonna die!" variety rather than the Credence Clearwater version where "Run through the Jungle" is repeated ad nauseum. But to be serious for a moment, you really have to wonder if the Cougs are gonna come out with all cylinders firing, seeing as they're all looking ahead to the big Grambling game next week.
Winner: Cougs

To prepare for this game, "Don't-Call-Me-Ty"rone Willingham has been pumping noise from the speakers onto the field to prepare the team for the Husky Stadium environment. Good thing for the neighbors he only had to turn the volume up halfway. Rumor has it that Cal boosters are paying for the team to make a pit stop in Enumclaw on the way to the game to see if "Mr. 0-10" Joseph Ayoob CAN, in fact, hit the broad side of a barn. Good thing Marshawn Lynch will have 150 yards by halftime.
Pick: Bears

Now do Griz fans worry more about getting slaughtered in a loud Autzen stadium or about whether or not they can get home in time for the 23rd Annual Testicle Festival next week? As much as I'd like to say this will be a cakewalk for the Men in Neon, never count out the men who gather in massive numbers to celebrate the devouring of bull balls.
Pick: Ducks

The Pac-10: The Conference of Champions (and 0-2 against service academies).
Pick: Midshipmen

Sorry to laugh at the little guy for getting too big for his britches, but WOW... Watching Kanye West during the hurricane special was more comfortable than watching the first half of the Georgia game. The Donkeys' greatest win in school history was beating Oregon State last year. Now fans will be able to tell their grandchildren about the time they beat the Beavs twice. Make sure you get seats for this game, Potato Salad fans. You're about to see what it looks like to lose from the perspective of the second deck.
Winner: Broncos

Back when I was eleven, I was into baseball cards as much as the next kid; probably more than the next kid. I spent so much time sorting and looking up prices in my Beckett magazines, my parents actually put a temporary kibosh on the whole collection. My friend who lived down the street felt bad for me and let me keep my collection there so my parents didn't throw my cards out. Wouldn't you know it a couple months later when I got my cards back, my Ken Griffey Jr rookie card, the Nolan Ryan throwing a football card and my Al Leiter card from 1988—that mistakenly had picture of the Cardinal Batboy—were all "missing" from my boxes. Now far be it for me to mock a man in the face of national tragedy, but I can't be the only one in America that thinks there's some ulterior motive in moving this game to Tempe. Win or lose, lets hope Les Miles gets to leave the game with his Billy Ripken Fleer (you know the one.)
Winner: Sun Devils

In case you missed the hilarity that ensued, Mike Stoops found yet another way to lose a game for his team in the closing minutes by not going for it on fourth down in Utah territory. You know, this guy's got a few great things going for him: he seems to recruit well, parents mistake him for his brother, somehow he's been able to keep Mike Bell on the team since the Reagan administration, etc…but I struggle to think of a worse in-game coach. I mean Rick Moranis in "Little Giants" let a seven year old call the plays and even he still won a game or two. Here's hoping that during the next big game, Mikey will try the "Annexation of Puerto Rico."
Winner: Everyone who doesn't have to watch (and the Wildcats)

The Bruins look as if they have two of the Pac's more explosive playmakers in Maurice Drew and Mercedes Lewis. Both players should lead this offense to a great start to this season. I'll leave it up to you to decide in October which one will be caught driving Sean Astin's 4-Runner and which one's leg will break in six places in a windsurfing accident. We're still a few weeks away from the annual meltdown, so the Baby Bears are still a safe pick.
Pick: Bruins

Last Week: 8-1
Overall: 8-1

Well, if you read last week's column you know that Toshiba Fund III went off like gangbusters and I've been trying to figure out a goal for this year. Well, it's about time I put my pathetic gambling addiction towards a good cause, so all of my winnings this year will go to charity. In the wake of National disasters such as Hurricane Katrina, people tend to give and give and give (which is fantastic), but other organizations that need money just as badly seem to be put by the wayside. So anyway, my hopeful winnings this year, however meager they may be will go to the ALS Reason for Hope Foundation. (And should, God forbid, I show a loss this season, I'll still toss a C note their way). You can find more info about this organization at www.alsa.org.

We'll start with my original $100 and double it with picks like:
Clemson (+2) over Maryland ($25)
Navy (+3) over Stanford ($25)
Idaho (+12) over UNLV ($25)
Illinois (-14) over San Jose St. ($25)

Have a question or comment? Need a stock tip? Can't find a date for your High School Reunion (or better yet, your prom?) Hit up the mailbag at ramble_on@comcast.net

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