Ramble On! Pac-10 Picks: Week Six

SO SERIOUSLY, THAT was a joke, right? Somebody want to clue me in on when the two teams are playing the REAL second half of that game? What kind of voodoo were we up against around halftime? You mean to tell me that all at one time, our best two players have legs that fall off, the star running back doesn't get the ball again and our record-setting quarterback turns from Bledsoe into so-so?

Something just wasn't right in Corvallis last weekend. Even our normally solid group of fans fell victim to the unearthly. Upon leaving the stadium, OSU fans taunted us and the best comeback we could muster had something to do with their collective mothers, causing them to cackle even louder. Even your favorite rambler had himself an off-day: I accidentally tore the crotch out of my raingear within eight seconds of putting it on.

I rested my head that night, clinging on to one single notion that the world isn't completely unjust: At least the Huskies did their customary pulling defeat from the jaws of victory. Sometimes, schadenfreude is all a Coug has. That was one hell of a hex you placed on us, Corvallis. But just you wait: we're bringing our own witches with us next year…(and extra rain pants).

Pete Carroll this week desribed Arizona's defense as having "a scheme that gives you problems." I'm sure Pete was kept up nightly by the thought that the Bumbling Stoopses held him to a just a shade under 600 yards last year. The over/under of Coach Mike actually picking up an official and throwing him at one of his assistants has been set to 10:34 left in the 3rd quarter. Place your bets now. Trojans

We play games in Pullman, now? That's the craziest idea I've heard all week! Our mighty bi-polar Cougs welcome in a Stanford team sans-Teevens. During the offseason, the thought of Eugene Francis "retiring" caused the Rambler to consider hanging up his pen, but Walt Harris is shaping up to be a fine replacement for ridicule. Harris got the Stanford job for winning the Big East last year, which is the workplace equivalent to being promoted to Vice President for only getting caught with explosives in your desk twice. During this blowout we can be thankful for at least one thing: we don't have to play their cross-country team. Cougs

Cal takes its ‘only schedule easier than WSU's' record down to Pasadena to face a team that also has beaten the Huskies, though neither can say that UW is their marquee win thus far. After all, UCLA has beaten Oklahoma and Cal downed….well, New Mexico State. Rather than pump crowd noise through practice to prepare for a game in Pasadena, Jeff Tedford kept the loudspeakers busy with his cell phone's ringtones and yelling at his assistants. Rambler's rule of thumb No. 77: when a fantastic rushing team plays a team that gave up two and a half football fields to the Ave-Shackers, you go with the fantastic rushing team. Big. Bears

Forecast calls for rain in the Pac-10 nightcap making for some very soggy tortillas. Quarterback Kellen Clemens has to be a little nervous playing this game, seeing the cheap shots the Dirkle D has delivered to Northwestern and Oregon State quarterbacks, as well as the shot that nearly knocked Matt Leinart cross-eyed again. After watching Dirkles flat out condone the attacks as clean hits, I'm wondering if I'm the first columnist out there to draw comparisons between he and the Cobra Kai sensei from Karate Kid. I will be watching intently the entire evening hoping to see Koetter telling Robert James to "sweep the leg." Sun Dirkles

Beaver fans throughout Corvallis spend Saturday fighting over the sunglasses and hamburger grease I left in their parking lot while Mike Riley re-writes his "zero-tolerance policy." Husky fans begin to weave the tale they will tell their grandchildren about the magical weekend where they didn't lose.

Last Week: 3-1
Season Overall: 25-10

Well the Grab Bag's finally picking up some steam, posting back-to-back 3-1 weeks. Wouldn't you know the team that kept me from going perfect last week was the Trucking School in Boise? Winnings this year will benefit the ALS Association (http://www.alsa.org). May your rivals go decades without beating UCLA if you do the same. Anyway, let's hope the good times keep rolling with these picks:

Week 6: ($176)
Texas Tech (-4) over Nebraska: $44
Louisville (-13) over North Carolina: $44
Louisiana Tech (-3) over Hawaii: $44
Texas A&M (+3) over Colorado: $44

Have a question or comment? Need a stock tip? Can't find a date for your High School Reunion (or better yet, your prom?) Hit up the mailbag at ramble_on@comcast.net

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