Ramble On! Pac-10 Picks: Week Nine

At this point what is there left to say? My editor is no longer buying my excuse that my column is late because the receiver ran the wrong route. And I could probably just copy and paste the last three weeks and I'm not sure anyone would notice. That being said, I'm not sure I still have any readers left after the season I'm having..

There are a million things I find annoying, like the guy that has an eight-word description for "large coffee" in the Starbuck's line, the little dog next door that starts barking at squirrels at five-thirty in the morning and, well, Ashlee Simpson to be quite honest. But nothing has been quite so annoying as coming up with new material for the same outcome week in and week out.

So thank goodness for the always dependable Captain Husky and Mike Stoops. They're still there to inspire me when things appear bleak. And I suppose there's always time to ponder one of the greatest questions the world of science has ever been faced with: if the dreadlocks cloning problem will be solved one day soon, and if so, will it be solved by some University in Glasgow, or by that exceedingly well respected Medical School over there in Montlake.

WASHINGTON STATE at SOUTHERN CAL
The best part about watching this game in a bar (aside from the beer) is its too loud to hear the announcers or anything else on the television. That being said, I think those three notes played by the Trojan band can show up in subtitles. Or maybe some lady, a Southern Gal perhaps, in the corner of the screen playing them in sign language. For those of you still upset about our mini-streak of blown fourth quarter leads, your prayers have been answered. I'm back on the bandwagon next week Cougs, but this is beyond David and Goliath: this is David and…well, David and USC. Trojans

ARIZONA at OREGON STATE
You know, this curse that I have over the Beavs (I have picked the OSU game incorrectly every game this year other than when they played Portland State) doesn't make up for whatever voodoo that game was in the Bean Bowl a month ago. In the poor-get-poorer department: Arizona, one of the worst offenses in the Pac-10 lost their punter. Sources have informed Ramble On! Mike Stoops has apparently made a call to Pullman asking about Scott Davis. Beavers

UCLA at STANFORD
I remember when I used to look forward to all the possible jokes I could come up with for this game. Between Buddy T., Bob Toledo, DeShaun Foster and his SUV, UC Davis, empty stadiums and Skip Hicks walking off the field, all I had to do was close my eyes and point. Now with the two most boring coaches south of Ty Willingham -- although Tyrone Willingham might dispute that notion about Tyrone Willingham -- and both teams playing respectable football, I have to either point to the glory days or just flat-out make stuff up. You'd think it was Halloween or something. Bruins

WASHINGTON at ARIZONA STATE
This week, our man Dirkles said Isaiah Stanback is a worthy opponent: "How many guys start in the Pac-10 as a wide receiver and two years later be a starting quarterback?" he asked. Now I know Stanback's a great athlete and all, but let's face it: the Huskies have been so depleted on talent during the last couple years, they wish they could also have him playing Left Guard, long-snapping and holding a megaphone for Captain Husky. Too bad cloning machines are still stumped by dreadlocks. Even with Vanilli under center, I think the Dirkles will manage. Sun Devils

Last Week: 3-2
Overall: 31-18

UNCLE RAMBLER'S FUNTIME GAMBLING GRAB BAG (2ND EDITION)
You knew it was going to happen eventually. With my year, you just knew I was going to roll snake eyes before November. And if you think my luck's limited to gambling, ask me about my non-refundable tickets to Cancun for next month… Stupid hurricanes.

Who cares, starting over can be fun sometimes. Just ask Walt Harris. Again, all proceeds (minimum $200 now) will be going to the ALS Association (http://www.alsa.org). May your rivals be left with nothing to brag about but victories over San Jose St if you do the same.

This week, we're changing our luck with picks like:

Week 9: $100
TCU (-6) over San Diego St: $25
Texas Tech (-10 ½) over Baylor: $25
Rutgers (-6 ½) over Navy: $25
Northwestern (+3) over Michigan: $25

Have a question or comment? Need a stock tip? Can't find a date for your High School Reunion (or better yet, your prom?) Hit up the mailbag at ramble_on@comcast.net


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