Ramble On! Pac-10 Picks: Week Ten

YOU KNOW THE ONLY thing more depressing than trying to figure out what to write after another fourth quarter meltdown is trying to figure out what to write after the worst butt-kicking the Cougs have received since well….the last time we played USC. Remember last week when Coach Doba made some remark about how the only way we could beat the Trojans was if we took them out in the tunnel? Even that plan went sour…

Talking to fans and reading the CF.C message boards, I've come to the conclusion every person wants a different starter benched. If we're thinking that progressively, why not just make a clean sweep of it? Washington State could be a trendsetter for the rights of every hysterical armchair quarterback in the country.

Hell, we have enough of those guys in the stands with the shoulder pads and spike things to form an offensive line. We can hold a Madden tournament in Todd Auditorium later today. The winner gets to be a Coordinator. And Mayor of Pullman. Scratch that. Czar of the Palouse. And their visage will adorn two grain elevators outside of Dusty and Kahlotus. And you will never walk alone again. Sing it with me, my gentle rose petals.

The Jeff Tedford Experience makes its triumphant return to rainy Autzen this weekend. This weekend also kick-starts the career of Dennis Dixon, the super-sophomore who promises to lead Oregon to the back to back National titles in the coming years. Ok, maybe I'm over exaggerating, the kid probably still has a lot to learn. Hopefully he's learned this much: When down by one point on fourth down at the end of the game and you need to complete a 10 yard pass to get to within field goal range DON'T PASS THE BALL TO KEITH ALLEN. No matter how wide open he is! Ducks

Our man Dirkles looks for his first win ever in Pullman. And as far as I can remember, our man Doba is looking for his first win in Pullman also. Last week, ASU's dirty coach lied to reporters about Sam Keller's health, causing the Huskies to prepare for the star quarterback, only to trot out a freshman to throw 400 yards. This week, look for the same corrupt action, when Dirkles looks to correct the Devil kicking woes with none other than Todd Belcastro. Usually on weeks when I pick the Cougs to lose, my inbox is flooded with words not fit for print. Suprisingly last week, not a single message got stuck in the language filter when I picked the Trojans to roll. We'll see what happens this week. Sun Devils

TUI-MANIA SWEEPS TUSCON!!! Freshman sensation Willie Tuitama leads Arizona to their first win over a Division I school since trucker hats were cool, and has stolen the hearts of us all. Ok, Matt Moore's SIX interceptions didn't hurt things. Lets hope this Tui doesn't have a penchant for windshields…. To illustrate the difference in demeanor between these two coaches, both were asked how they were able to orchestrate come-from-behind victories. Karl Dorrell simply replied "We don't teach panicking". When posed the same question, Mike Stoops threw the reporter through a table. We're sticking with the calm and smooth one this week: Bruins

Since no 1-10 season is complete without a quarterback controversy, UW figures to take a look at Duck-reject Johnny DuRocher who gave the Ave-Shackers a glimpse into their future with his 2-for-6 for 14 yards and an interception. At least Lake Washington will be pretty to look at for the next three years… In the "water is wet" news department, a Beaver now leads the country in Interceptions. Fortunately there's absolutely nothing like playing the Huskies to get your confidence back. Beavers

Anybody else out there secretly wish that LenDale White jumped off the building LAST week instead of this one? You know the media's has become completely tapped for stories during USC's 30 game winning streak when a Halloween prank gets this much press. Frankly, this prank doesn't hold a candle to the one Coach Doba pulled last week when he left the real Cougar team in Pullman. Trojans

Last Week: 3-1
Overall: 34-19

I didn't REALLY pick Northwestern to beat Michigan, did I? I actually checked my original because I could have sworn some Cougfan editor pulled a LenDale White on me. And in true Grab Bag fashion, TCU picked the one time they weren't going to blow an opponent out on the week I put money on them. Can't cry over a push, but it is getting a little dusty in the room. Again, all proceeds this year are being donated to the ALS Association (http://www.alsa.org). May your rivals be forced to start Johnny DuRocher if you do the same. Lets double up this week with picks like:

Week 10: $100
Rutgers (-3) over South Florida: $25
Notre Dame (-7) over Tennessee: $25
Boston College (-4 ½) over North Carolina: $25
South Carolina (+4 ½) over Arkansas: $25

Have a question or comment? Need a stock tip? Can't find a date for your High School Reunion (or better yet, your prom?) Hit up the mailbag at ramble_on@comcast.net

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