Ramble On! Pac-10 picks Week Two

SO WHAT DID we learn last week? We learned that USC has probably not dropped off as much as we hoped. But Cal sure did! We learned being a fifth year senior quarterback means nothing when you play for Stanford. And it may be best if the Cougs just leave the QB-option out of the playbook from here on out. Just tear out the page, coach. Put your noses against your monitors, it's time to Ramble On..

The Beavs head to the house Belcastro built to face the Broncos and coach Chris Petersen, the next man to take Boise Trucking College to a few decent seasons and tank their bowl games, and then get picked up by a major school only to drive it into mediocrity. No, seriously. I really did make this pick before last night's game -- my editors can vouch for me. Editor's note: We have no idea. We're just glad he got his piece in before Sunday. Pick: Smurfs

Pullman, here I come! Look, I just don't care that Idaho almost came close to just about winning last week. I just don't care that Idaho picked up some decent JC recruits and hired the only man in the Northwest drunker than Dale Ellis to coach them. I don't care if our team got so injured in Auburn last week that we are probably going to have to play them 8-on-11 for most of the first half. Come on, people, it's freaking Idaho. There's already rumor of a rule where Coug receivers will have to play blindfolded in the third quarter. Pick: Cougs

I was watching the Today show earlier and they had a segment that said early-90's grunge fashion is going to be the big thing for kids going back to school. Sadly for Husky fans, it didn't mention anything about purple Starter parkas. Look for UW backup sensation Johnny DuRocher to get most of the snaps this weekend as Isaiah Stanback has to pull a double shift over at Big Red Imports. Word has it, there are great deals on Camaros. Pick: Sooners

After everything that the state of Louisiana has been through in the past year, you'd think the last thing America would want to do is send them the biggest anger management problem since Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. I know it's not basketball season, but I just like seeing it in print: Big Baby. Pick: Tigers

The only thing I'll allow myself to say about our mythical quarterback controversy is this: at least we're not Cal. Apparently yesterday, coach Tedford took both Nate Longshore and Joseph Ayoob out to the edge of the Golden Gate Bridge and told them the first one to throw a ball and have it land in the water would start against the Gophers. Sadly, Cal has announced this game will be delayed until November. Pick: Bears

In related news: The Jackass movie opens this weekend. Pick: Dirkles

Nike is releasing yet another uniform for their beloved Ducks, this one will be repellent from all beer and urine that is sure to be hurled upon them in the friendliest little stadium in the west. I'll be the first to admit it (my editor will be the second): I was an idiot to pick against the Ducks last week. Wow, that felt dirty. Hopefully that's worth a pair of Jordans (I'm a size 13, Phil). Pick: Ducks

THE REST: Bruins over Owls, Trees over Spartans

Now that it's a felony in Washington to gamble online, make sure all you wonderful Evergreen Staters make all your bets the safe way: through the big guy in the dark corner of the bar named Tankface.

Week 1: ($100) Army (-6) over Kent: $25 Ohio St (+2.5) over Texas: $25 Oregon (-4) over Fresno St: $25 Iowa (-19) over Syracuse: $25

Have a safe drive to Pullman and thanks for reading! Have a question or comment? Need a stock tip? Can't find a date for your High School Reunion (or better yet, your prom?) Hit up the mailbag at ramble_on@comcast.net

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