Ramble On! Pac-10 picks Week Seven

EVERY TIME I venture into the state of Oregon, something terrible has happened. Crossing the Columbia River, as bad Beaver State luck always seems to find me. My car has broken down twice, I've broken my nose, one time I even accidentally bought non-alcoholic beer. I've always felt my bad karma has had something to do with the Cougs getting pasted in Corvallis every time for the past 10 years.

But not this time. Ladies and Gentlemen, the curse has been lifted and you are all free to enjoy your sales-tax-free celebration! And to the guy that chucked a Jolly Rancher at my chin after the game: we both win. You get to tell your friends about the time you hurled hard candy in the face of an annoying Coug, and Babs Hedges and me get to do each other's hair and dish about fearing for our lives.

A warning though to all our friends venturing to call upon our neighbors to the south: I don't care how many windows you broke when you were a kid or how many tests you cheated on, if you want the verbal lashing of a lifetime: try to pump your own gas in Oregon. The burly gas station attendant lady gave me such a verbal beat down, I was crying clear through Wednesday.

But I've bounced back, and I'm ready for the Cal Bears, plus the ridiculously over-crowded Homecoming-weekend bars.

ARIZONA at STANFORD
So this game has to be played? Really? Has anyone come up with a good reason these teams can't just stay home and settle this over Playstation? Not only is this a game that nobody wants to see or be a part of, you really have to worry about Stanford's new stadium getting ruined by Mikey Stoops at the first sign of Arizona trouble. The first time Trent Edwards gets loose, the first three rows of benches are going to be torn out and thrown into the Hanna House. Twenty bucks says that pile of stadium rubble gets bought and moved to the Sculpture Garden.
Pick: Wildcats (and art lovers)

CALIFORNIA at WASHINGTON STATE

Coach Tedford has achieved such a high approval rating in Berkeley, yours truly spent the first couple years referring to him as Godford. Now the west coast's version of ‘Touchdown Jesus with a whistle' heads to our humble Palouse for the first time ever as head coach. Even if this man is able to walk on water, I bet he still couldn't navigate the Pi-Phi's sidewalk in December without falling on his butt.
Pick: Bears

OREGON STATE at WASHINGTON
For all the whining in Seattle this week about the massive injustice done to the Mutts at Southern Gal, someone needs to explain me why Spock Willingham didn't get flagged for going way too far out on the field for such an extended period of time during that last (unofficial) referee time out/coffee klatch. And just to continue the theme for all of you Trekkie Dawgs out there: George Takei of Star Trek fame will be on hand in Husky Stadium this weekend, and in and around Montlake for that matter, to cheer for men in purple spandex. That's as far as I'm taking that one.
Pick: Huskies

ARIZONA STATE at SOUTHERN CAL

Things have gotten so bad in Tempe, Dirkles has brought in a Sports Psychologist to assist with the mental health of his team so the next time they get drilled by 30, they can leave the field feeling good about themselves. Speaking of feeling good about themselves, how about the Jedi mind trick Pete Carroll pulled on the officiating two weeks in a row? Not only was he able to convince the refs to pick up a crucial holding flag two weeks ago against WSU with a wave of his fingers, but this week was also able to channel the Coliseum scoreboard and steal the final two seconds of the clock causing the Ave-Shackers'drive to stall out in the red zone. While I don't doubt Pete's abilities, it should be well documented that clocks in L.A. have run two seconds fast for at least the past nine years.
Pick: Trojans

THE REST: OREGON over UCLA

Last Week: 3-2
Season to Date: 33-8

UNCLE RAMBLER'S FUNTIME GAMBLING GRAB BAG

I hope you didn't pick last week to bet against me. Not only did I give you the game to bet the kids' college fund on (WSU over the Beavs) but also went 3-1 in the Grab Bag picks. So we're finally in the black for the year. Due to Washington not allowing its citizens to gamble online, I've learned from my bookie Richard D. Anderson how to carve a prison-grade shank from nothing more than a tube of toothpaste and two AA batteries. So really, we all owe the state a debt of gratitude, for making laws uhllowing usz two beter edjucate ourselvfes. Let's keep it going with picks like:

Week 7 ($150)
NC State (-3) over Wake Forest: $37.50
Fresno St (+4) over Hawaii: $37.50
Mississippi (+16) over Alabama: $37.50
Oregon (-8) over UCLA: $37.50


Drive safely to Pullman, let me cut in line at the Coug Saturday night, and as always: Thanks for reading.

Have a question or comment? Need a stock tip? Can't find a date for your High School Reunion (or better yet, your prom?) Hit up the mailbag at ramble_on@comcast.net

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