Ramble On! Pac-10 picks Week 12

THANK GOD FOR rivalry week, when Coug fans are able let their emotions ride into a double-or-nothing parlay. WSU beats the UW: Everyone goes to a bowl game. If WSU loses: No, I don't even want to think about losing. There would be crying, swearing, bottles, I mean punches, thrown. And that's just from my mother. And a distant relative of my predecessor is here with his picks. Read on.

And did I mention this would be three in a row? Well, as long as Wazzu doesn't tempt fate. Coach Doba better break out the vintage, scripted Cougars logo helmets -- they've propelled the Cougs to Apple Cup success the last two years. Slap those bad boys on again and the Cougs are good for a 14-point victory. If they don't, well, who wants to tempt fate? I can't even fathom the liquor store shortages across the Palouse if the UW should somehow steal a win. This is another reason the Cougs need to win: to protect Cougar fans from themselves.

I haven't had the most stellar record the past two weeks as the Pac-10 has found its own Bizzaro World — Mike Stoops with a winning streak? Still, recall six weeks ago my dead-on prediction of the wheels falling off the Husky program/bandwagon heading into the USC game. You'll also recall an email I received from Dave in Auburn declaring my "worst feelings have been realized now that Washington is awesome again." No matter how miserable I'll ever feel in my life from death, taxes and the WNBA, that quote will always cheer me up. It's awesome.

I've scoured my Husky rolodex trying to find someone who still cares about their football team but it's been slim pickings. Some have tried to fool themselves into believing they don't care about the Apple Cup, but then they talk out of the other side of their mouths, saying the only reason WSU has won the last two years is… because UW sucked. Sure, they do suck, and a whole lot more of sucking is yet to come. But it remains a flawed argument, nevertheless. Drive safely to Pullman, thanks to all of the Cougar Seniors and as always: thanks for reading!

Have a question or comment? Need a stock tip? Can't find a date for your High School Reunion (or better yet, your prom?) Hit up the mailbag at ramble_on@comcast.net

Picks and capsules this week supplied by The Gray Soothsayer, rumored to be ugly cousin of The Crimson Seer, although the Nepalese Government has thus far refused to confirm or deny.

Pete Clairol wasn't swearing at Bellotti last week (three times) and he certainly wasn't directing it towards the Oregon sideline (staring directly at them). I for one believe him, that he was going over the salon shopping list and all the men's hair care spritzes and gels happened to rhyme with Fork Deux. And who cares. Screw those stupid critics. You coached in the NFL when all your peers were nothin! You just keep on turning the blind eye to the stuff they can't catch you at, Petey. You go. I can't quit you, girl.

Male Pattern Riley has somehow turned a bunch of Corvallis ganja growin', taxi cab bill abscondin', sheep kidnappin', class flunkin', Deliverance watchin' cowboy miscreants into a cohesive, winning football team. You have got to admire that, especially after everyone including the Salsa Mogul wanted him fired six weeks ago. Now if he could only play quarters like Erickson, well then we'd really have something.

I don't care if the She-Devil coach has a girl-getting earring and is the only other Pac-10 coach with an ego in the same ball park as Southern Gal's coach. You know it and I know it. Dick Koetter is pretty. Too pretty.

You can take the moustache out of the porn star, but Studs Bellotti still rides alone. You had me at recruiting violation, Mike.

The most requested Apple Cup Week interview has thus far refused all media requests. Hell, Third Person won't even admit off the record he knows Willingham these days.

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