STANFORD at ARIZONA STATE
Scary thought: Some network suits at ABC Sports perused the Pac-10 schedule, spotted this game between two potential cellar dwellers, and proclaimed, "Eureka! Their uniform colors don't clash, we've found our game of the week!"
WASHINGTON STATE at CALIFORNIA
Remember that bit I said last week about hopping on the Teddyford Bear Bandwagon? Why do I get the feeling I just boarded the Hindenberg?
In an effort to lessen the injuries being handed WSU quarterbacks, St. Mike Price announces his signal-callers will wear yellow jerseys for the remainder of the season.
OREGON STATE at SOUTHERN CAL
To that Southern Cal alum who writes me every year asking me to stop referring to USC as Southern Cal, I have only this to say: "No."
Fearing he won't get the media attention he deserves due to his boring-ass name, Beavo back Steve "Steve" Jackson legally changes first name to Janet.
NORTH TEXAS at ARIZONA
I rec'd some nasty emails from Mildcat fans shocked (or motherf-ing shocked, as one fanatic so eloquently put it) that I picked Wisconsin over UA last week. All I have to say to them is: Blue as the sky, and round as my gut, the Badgers sure kicked, some Wildcat butt!
IDAHO at WASHINGTON
Challenge to our good neighbors across the border: Beat the Dawgs and I will wear women's underwear and tell strangers to call me "Babs" for the entire month of October…on second thought, scratch that idea. People might think I'm Rick Neuhiesal.
UCLA at SAN DIEGO STATE
Things haven't looked this hopeless for San Diego football since Ryan Leaf was quarterbacking the Chargers.
In the spirit of glasnost I've attempted to instill with the UCLA sports information department, I'm pleased to report no Bruin was arrested this past week.
Last week: 5-3 (picked off by Cal, UCLA, USC)
Year to date: 18-7 (Not great, but not Wilbur Wood numbers, either.)