STANFORD at NOTRE DAME
In an effort to find a moniker that more closely embodies the philosophy and personality of Notre Dame guru (and my hero) Ty Willingham, South Bend admin changes team nickname to "Smiling Irish."
I've made some shocking discoveries into the past of Cardinal coach "Buddy," that may have prevented him from landing the Farm job had it been unearthed earlier (and, no, I'm not talking about his 11-45 record as Tulane's head coach): His real name is Eugene Francis Teevens III. Oh, the horror…the horror!
Pick: SMILING IRISH
CALIFORNIA at WASHINGTON
In the 1974 Burt Reynolds football/prison film, "The Longest Yard," former Golden Bears QB (and coach) Joe Kapp played for the guards and legendary UW signal caller Sonny Sixkiller suited up for the inmates (no Dawg in prison joke here, I've too much respect for Sonny). My point, other than passing on an interesting bit of trivia, is this: I've seen that movie on five or six occasions and it ends the same way every time, just like when Cal plays Washington.
OREGON at ARIZONA
Staying with the cinematic theme: Despite the insistence of many in and around Montlake, Mallard coach Mike Bellotti (who often is mistaken for Burt Reynolds, circa "Cannonball Run II") has never appeared in a pornographic film.
Speaking of obscene, offensive, and objectionable images: the Mildcats missed two field goals and had two more blocked during their 14-9 rout of North Texas Barber College last weekend, prompting coaching mastermind John Maaloxovic to comment, "Our kicking game did not perform well." You sure can tell he still has some of that ESPN analyst in him, eh?
SOUTHERN CAL at WASHINGTON STATE
St. Mike and his Crimson Soldiers are confident going into this weekend's battle with the Toejams, but have hired a priest to exorcise the ghost of Todd Marinovich just to be on the safe side.
UCLA at OREGON STATE
Following Beavo blowout by Southern Gals, Corvallis coach Dennis Erickson can't recall ever coaching a team that executed so poorly. Apparently, he's completely repressed all memories of his Seattle Seahawk tenure.
Bruin Big Guy Bob Toledo excited this contest is ABC's regional game of the week, but not thrilled that the camera adds ten pounds.
NORTH CAROLINA at ARIZONA STATE
For those of you who witnessed Dirt Koetter and his Solar Satans run over Stunford and now think they're legit contenders, I have this to say: Just because a "kind of crappy" team beats up on a "really crappy" team, it doesn't remove the crap status of the victor.
Pick: SUN DEVILS
Last week: 5-1 (off-sides on Stanford)
Year to date: 23-8
This time last season: 24-3