NFL Cougar Highlights: Week One

DETROIT KICKER Jason Hanson accounted for nine of the Lions' points on Sunday, placing him 50 points away from becoming the tenth leading scorer in NFL history. Sadly, that was the most exciting news note from Week (weak?) One of the NFL season. I almost prefer yard work. While surfing the channels, I paused on golf and nearly stopped on tennis. Thank God we have college football Saturdays.

Here's how the rest of the NFL Cougars did over the weekend ...

Hamza Abdullah, DB, Denver, 3rd season: Notched one solo tackle in Broncs' 15-14 win against Jack Kemp's old team.

Kyle Basler, P, Cleveland, 1st season: Did not play; on non-injured reserve. The Frown's regular punter was declared inactive last week and they signed someone else, leading one to wonder what Cleveland is "reserving" Kyle for. (The Paulbears lost to Dumb Ben and Co., 34-7; no doubt it was due to their poor punting.)

Troy Bienemann, TE, Arizona, 1st season: Caught his first pro pass, a 6-yard highlight-reeler, in Zona's 20-17 loss to Niners.

Cody Boyd, TE, Washington, rookie: Did not play in Dietzskins' 16-13 OT win against the Mkristo-less Fins. (Cody was just picked up off waivers from Steeltown on September 2.)

Tyron Brackenridge, CB, Kansas City, rookie: The Brack Attack was solid in his pro debut, tallying three solo stops and forcing a fumble in KC's 20-3 fall to the Sam Houston Texans (I keeping forgetting they are a real NFL franchise). Let the defensive Rookie of the Year campaign begin!

Erik Coleman, S, New York Jets, 4th season: His usual solid Sunday, recording six total tackles in Jets' 38-14 loss to the Bradyots.

Devard Darling, WR, Baltimore, 4th season: Overthrown on a potential game winning pass by the QB formerly known as "Jesus-in-cleats," Kyle Boller, in the Ravens' 27-20 fall to the Bungles.

Jason David, DB, New Orleans, 4th season: Returned a fumble 55-yards for a TD and recorded 4 solo stops. Unfortunately, he was the primary victim of three Peyton Manning (Archie's kid) aerial scores in Saints' 41-10 de-canonization at the hands of the Counterfeit Colts.

Eric Frampton, S, Detroit, rookie: Notched one special teams stick in the Lions' 36-21 victory against the Faders (also known as the team that foolishly let Frampton go).

Steve Gleason, DB, New Orleans, 8th season: Out for season; injured reserve. I refuse to take his name off this list. Ever.

Jason Hanson, K, Detroit, 16th season: Here's a shocker -- the Spokane native was perfect on all three PATs and FGs (from 46, 23, and 46 yards) as Motor City defeated Oakland (it still is Oakland this season, right?) 36-21. Hanson now as amassed approximately 10 billion points in his NFL career.

Jerome Harrison, RB, Cleveland, 2nd season: The Ghost did not play (what Brown really did?) in Cleveland's 34-7 waxing by Pitt. Brownies amassed a stumbling 46-yards on the ground. Coincidence? I should think not!

Jason Hill, WR, San Francisco, rookie: Inactive for San Fran's 20-17 victory over the Chicago/St. Louis/Arizona Cardinals. Offensive Rookie of the Year campaign postponed for one week.

Rian Lindell, K, Buffalo, 8th season: Hit on both PAT attempts but barely missed a crucial second quarter FG in Bills' 15-14 fall to the Mile High Club.

Rien Long, DT, Tennessee, 5th season: Did not play; on injured reserve. He's probably nursing a broken heart over Titans' bewildering dump of (on?) Cougar-mate Lamont Thompson last week.

Rob Meier, DE, Jacksonville, 8th season: The Big Canuck notched three total tackles in Jags' 13-10 fall to the not-so-Titan-without-Thompsons. (You haven't seen the last of Lamont! I'll see you in hell, Jeff Fisher!)

Karl Paymah, CB, Denver, 3rd season: No stats from Broncos' 15-14 win over Buffalo.

Ranoall Smith, LB, St. Louis, 6th season: No recorded tackles from Rams' 27-13 loss to Charlotte.

Marcus Trufant, DB, Seattle, 5th season: The Tacoma native made four tackles (3 solo) in Seahawks 20-6 win against Chuckie Bay.

Cory Withrow, C/G, San Diego, 9th season: Returned a fumble recovery 78 yards for a touchdown then caught the game-winning 2-point conversion in Chargers' first win on the road to Super Bowl 42 (screw roman numerals, this is America, damn it!). Naw, he didn't really do all that, but he's a back-up o-lineman. He needs some love.

NOTABLE NOTE: Just before going to press with this story, Lamont Thompson was picked up by the Dolphins.

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