OREGON at UCLA
Mike "The Mechanic" Bellotti and company have developed such confidence in Duck QB Jason Fife that they're legally changing his first name to Joey.
I just checked the police blotter a few minutes ago and still no new Westwood arrests to report…I smell a cover-up!
OREGON STATE at ARIZONA STATE
Good news/bad news for Dam Builders. First, the good: You don't have that Sports Illustrated cover haunting you this season. Now, the bad: You still suck.
Memo to Dirt Koetter: Now that you have that "600-yards of offense per game" part of your master plan worked out, it might be a good time to start on the "stop the other team from scoring so much" phase.
Pick: SUN DEVILS
ARIZONA at WASHINGTON
Fearing that his dogged defenders are "playing too clean" and "adhering to the rules almost too much," line-toeing U-Flub coach Rick "Squeaky" Neuheisel has decided it's time to get down and dirty by installing his new "Recruiting Defense."
Sampling of Childcat injury report this week: Clarence Farmer: Out; Michael Jolivette: Out; Lance Briggs: Questionable; Arizona winning another game this year: Doubtful.
WASHINGTON STATE at STANFORD
Cougar grab artist Mike Bush shrugged off the vicious head shot he took last weekend against USC and said, "My hits that Grandma than harder."
Learning that Paloaltoian football has an 83% graduation rate, Coach E.F. "Ruddy" Teevens laments never being saddled with such academic distractions while at Florida.
CALIFORNIA at USC
Pac-10 fans have been hearing from Southern Gal all season how "scary" the Toejam defense was…guess they really meant to say how "Mary" their defense was.
Sure, the "Jesus in Cleats" moniker has long been gone from Kyle "Pro" Boller, but new nickname "Moses of Montlake" sure has a nice sound to it.
Last week: 3-3 (fumbled on Washington, Arizona State, Oregon State)
Year to date: 26-11