Aladdin's Lamp

To be up very late one night watching TV... To see the ad featuring that metal-detecting gizmo that frankly looks like an old Weed-Eater, and that dorky guy who scours the grassy field with it, then proudly displays to the camera the crusty ring he has just dug up from the dirt to give to his wife... (one lucky woman, there!)

Perhaps amid a drunken stupor, the person watching the commercial reaches for the phone and orders something worthless….

Then to soon find oneself out in public, scouring the local beaches with the newfangled purchase and to invariably come across a strong signal, which leads to a golden object barely protruding from the clumpy wet sand.

Maybe that infomercial wasn't so worthless after all?

Seems we have stumbled upon a magic lamp. A rub of this fine decanter would soon magically produce an exuberant sort of fellow. Not so much an Aladdin type, but rather someone more resembling Lee Corso. Floating a bit chubby in mid-air, in grandiose fashion, all decked out in ancient Arabian garb and sporting a football helmet.

Nope. That infomercial was the find of a lifetime. Much better than the "Set it and forget it" oven that I have no problems forgetting.

This genie fellow enthusiastically proclaims that he will grant not the standard three wishes, or even five... But rather SEVEN wishes. The only catch being that they must be related to UW football.

Gee. That's a bummer, huh?

OK. Take a deep breath, think excitedly and thoroughly, and then just utter forth the wishes of a true Husky fan... Perchance... to dream...

1. To see Paul Arnold have a magnificent, break-out season. Paul is one of those likable guys, like Brock Huard and Leon Neal, who had breaks go against them a bit, but who were hard-workers as well great people. You really want to see them succeed, for their own sake.

2. To see an additional 15,000 seats placed at the west end of the stadium. It would feature the same slanted-L design as the other two upper decks... Imagine the views of the lake. Imagine the increased reverberating sound waves of the frenzied Husky crowd bounding off that new addition and leaving the field awash with an even more distorted, noisy roar!

3. To see Washington play a Big Ten team in the Rose Bowl January 3rd - Thus preserving the historical ties which bind us Pac-10 folk to our sister conference in the Midwest.

4. To see converted FB Mathias Wilson run for 100 yards against California.

5. To see USC's reaction in Husky Stadium as the temperature drops suddenly into the 30s right before kickoff (with swirling, biting winds and a horizontal rain). I admit, this is a selfish indulgence and is simply for my amusement as well for old times sake. Chuck Nelson's encore.

6. To see Washington sign Neuheisel to a new 20-year, $700 million deal. If I ever dared write this over at the PigskinPost, I would be instantly bombarded with email from folks in Oregon calling me a Husky Homer and a biased SOB. Thanks Dawgman.

7. To see the 2003 home opener, with Lou Gellerman bellowing "HELLLOO DAAWG FANS!", and then seeing Curtis Williams leading the inspired Huskies out onto the field via a slow, steady jog and waving to the fans. No words exist in the English language that would convey the inspiration and love that would fill the stadium should that happen... Even though 99% of us don't know him personally, we are spiritually imbued with him, have kept in touch with him, for he is not just a fellow human being but also a Dawg.

And on such a day, everyone present would be devastated with joy...

"Heaven Help the Foes of Washington!"
Any other wishes to add to the list? I can be contacted at Top Stories