<b>IN THIS ISSUE: </b><ul> <li>Beaver Ball is back with a vengeance<br> <li>Huskies road kill again<br> <li>Ducks bill slapped by Utes<br> <li>Cougs struggle with Arizona<br> <li>Tormey back in town this week</ul>

Everything is great!
Race Bannon, Shady Oaks Home for the Insane

The Washington Huskies are enjoying another great football season. The great play and coaching is just great. Tony the freaking Tiger grrrrrreat! I mean it is just great around here. If it were any greater, it would be illegal.

The Washington Huskies played a great first half at the Rose Bowl Saturday against the great UCLA Bruins and had a great lead at halftime. Then a great play by UCLA made the Bruins play great and it was all great from thereon out for the great Bruins who plastered our great Huskies 46-16.

It was a great loss highlighted by some great play from our great offense that had a really great game plan. Rich Alexis really was great until a great decision was made not to run him anymore. Things will only get more great from here on out as the Huskies enter the meat of their schedule with another great non-conference match up against a great Nevada team that has a great head coach. We are sure that a great crowd will show up in a great mood.

Things are great at Montlake. Look for a ticket surcharge next season to capitalize on all this greatness as the Huskies enter the arms race against Oregon and raise money for a 3.2 million dollar softball locker room with high-speed internet connections to ESPN2.


With apologies to Michael Stipe, "It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine."
Things are great in Eugene too!
Mallard N. Moore, Shady Oaks Home for the Criminally Insane

What a great effort by the Ducks in a great loss to Utah Friday night in Salt Lake City. The two quarterback monster really had the Utes reeling, as the great game plan kept things close in a great game.

Oregon announced plans for a new basketball arena to be built on their present day great softball field. They are receiving stern criticism from other softball powers on the west coast.

"We certainly appreciate the valued advice we're being given," Moos replied while leaning back casually in his thirty five thousand dollar imported chair in his luxury office at the Phil Knight Center calmly throwing darts at a picture of Husky Stadium.

"We like to think that we are on the right track down here even if our football is bad this year. We'll ask Mr. Knight to increase the budget for players and see if we can't get back on top of the Pac-10. Washington is recruiting a lot of good kids who go to class and graduate so they may have some trouble being a factor for awhile."

Oregon managed but 13 points against Utah, but looked great in doing it.

"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine"
Beavers top the Pac
Benjamin B. Eaver

It took the Black Bandits of Benton County to wipe away the lingering magic in Jeff Tedford's name. A 35-21 whipping of the Cal Bears sent the Beavers to the top of the Pac 10 and consigned Cal to the roller coaster hell that is this season in college football.

One week after beating the nation's finest team, Cal tripped over their press clippings and got run over by the marvelous Steven Jackson, the new leader in this year's Heisman Race, narrowly edging out UCLA quarterback Drew Olsen who was great against UW on Saturday.

As was suggested in this magazine, the plan to get Jackson the damn ball worked to perfection and Derrick Anderson put a big "how about that" right in Race Bannon's face with a clutch road performance. Maybe the Huskies ought to try a ‘get the damn ball to Alexis' plan. The Beavers shut down the feared Cal passing attack and cruised to their second Pac 10 victory.

The Beavers enter an easy stretch of schedule as they have a bye and then a visit from the Huskies who tend to get run over by the bus whenever they venture out on the road. It should be a great game.
The rest of the Pac: . . . The Cougars struggled to beat the Mildcats of Arizona as new Zona coach Tony Robbins has the Cats highly motivated and ready to play. It was only 13-7 late in the third quarter, a time when UA had normally given up 59 points to earlier opponents. WSU remains the only team in America to lose to Notre Dame, as the Irish had a bye. WSU appears to be playing the best of any team in the Pac 10, but the annual Apple Cup loss waits. Appearances can be deceiving.

USC bounced back with a big win over the Stunned Devils down in Tempe. Matt Linehart shook off an injury and looked sharp as the first year starter continues to confound the experts by looking like he could lead SC to the title, even though he isn't a senior. The rushing attack was back and the defense bruised the ASU attack. The leagues best team by far is USC according to Kellen Winslow, father of the Chosen One. You can't argue with that.

Quick Picks: . . . Nevada comes calling to Husky Stadium for the first time since 1902. Actually, Husky Stadium did not exist in 1902. It is great to see tradition upheld with this great scheduling move. Chris Tormey, who will be auditioning at Husky Stadium, leads the Wolfpack. For reasons we don't need to go into, this would be a really bad game for the Huskies to lose. Be sure to get there early to avoid the crowds of people trying to dump their tickets.

UW – 48, Nevada – 18

Oregon travels to Arizona State as the spawn welcomes the master to a desert shootout. Both offenses are looking for healing and Andrew Walter is looking for another 500-yard passing day. Jason Fife is our choice for QB, and the Ducks can ride him to a great victory. Except they won't. Just great.

ASU – 56, UO – 55

USC will host Buddy Ball and struggle early but put them away late as the Stanford squad falls short yet again.

USC – 28, Stanford – 17

UCLA will follow up their annual great game against Washington with a shocking loss to Arizona, who will be quite motivated, of course. Drew Olsen will not look like a Heisman candidate. He won't be great.

Arizona - 46, UCLA – 16

Around the world: . . . Missouri welcomes Nebraska in a huge game for Gary Pinkel's gang...Bama got crushed by Georgia causing some fans to reconsider the Bama strip club policy...could Price have done worse?...Yes, of course he could have...Idaho beat New Mexico State for their first win...Michigan lost again...Colorado lost to Baylor!...just how long does that Neuheisel excuse work for?...Purdue is showing that the Sun Bowl was no fluke...Next week features big showdowns between Miami and Florida State and the Red River War between Texas and Oklahoma, not to forget the Washington Nevada grudge match for the ol' leather "canine dish"... Olympia crushed Capital High...Rainier Beach is still unbeaten...The M's missed the play offs...the Sonics will too... the Hawks got crushed at Green Bay...did you think you live in Title Town?...I know, one week I am singing the praises the next week I am singing the blues...welcome to my manic world.

Thanks for reading and have a GREAT week – Race

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