DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

<b>IN THIS ISSUE:</b><ul> <li>Tormey aces his audition<br> <li>Wolf Pack stuns Huskies<br> <li>Pinkel's Tigers beat Nebraska<br> <li>Rainier Beach still unbeaten<br> <li>Huskies open NW Cup play at Reser</ul)


Champions again
Race Bannon, Husky Softball Stadium

The Washington Huskies won the Krispy Kreme Classic at legendary Husky Softball Field this past week by posting a sparkling 6-0 record. The soft ballers now head to Arizona for spring training as the opening of the season next February is closer than you think. The players will train at the Don James Center in Peoria, a new 100 million dollar facility complete with plasma television and high-speed internet access.

Thanks to the generous donations, the Husky women will play in a series of season opening softball tournaments in Monte Carlo, Aruba, and the French Riviera.

Then it is back home for the opener at Safeco Field, recently bought by the Husky athletic department to be used as an alternate home field. Plans to blow up the old football stadium for an expanded softball stadium are on hold for now.

The pressure continues to mount on Theresa Wilson for her inability to deliver a World Series title.

In other sports news on campus, the Huskies lost to UCLA again, this time in Women's soccer. Alums are outraged at this, as it is one thing to lose to the Bruins in football, but soccer?

The Huskies did manage to sweep the Oregon schools again this year. In Women's volleyball.

You can find all this information and more at the official Husky site, all listed ahead of the football loss to Nevada. In fact, the site still shows the Beaver game to be at 1:00 next week. Perhaps the Dawgs can win that one by forfeit?

In other news, Chris Tormey returned to Husky Stadium and showed the wisdom of turning down the UW job to go to a football school like Nevada, where he would have a chance to succeed. Tormey rolled out the ball for his star-studded line up of blue chippers and beat the Huskies, despite the Huskies superior game plan. You just cannot over come talent gaps in this game. Softball boosters are beginning to grumble about the wasted money on the football program.
Ducks drop last second heartbreaker to Devils
Mallard N. Moore, Mac Court

Ernie Kent has another juggernaut ready to take the floor at venerable Mac Court this fall. The Duck cagers, also known as the Duke of the West, will be looking to add another title, even with the loss of Luke Ridnour.

The Athletic Director, Bill Moos, corrected a misstatement made in this magazine last week. The new basketball arena will not be built on the softball field, but instead will be built inside newly remodeled Autzen Arena.

"We have to get something out of that white elephant," explained Moos as he once again agonized over letting Koetter and Tedford go while retaining Bellotti. "And why not basketball? They will soon outdraw the football team."

The Desert Spawn led the reeling ASU team to a 59-14 nail biter over the really reeling Ducks. Clarence Clemmons looked every bit the 5th year senior he is not as he threw killing interceptions early in the game to give ASU the momentum they would never lose. Hey, it can happen to Heisman Candidates, so leave the kid alone. Although we did say that Fife was the answer, we do not gloat here.

Bellotti scrapped the two-headed quarterback system before the game, so when Clemmons hit the bench, it was for actually being benched, just to clarify.
Beavers ready to destroy the Huskies
Benjamin B. Eaver

Welcome to your nightmare, Dawg fans. A full house at Reser, a nationally televised night game, and a butt kicking like you have never had by the Beavers to complete the total humiliation of a once proud program.

Please bring along that NW Cup you are so proud of because your defense will be over after your first game. This is the year of the Aggie as the Beavs and Cougs own the effete snobs from the city schools. We play football down here, we play it well, and we don't lose to WAC teams, except Fresno State, but shut up OK?

Derrick Anderson has something to prove after last year's mistake filled show at Husky Stadium and what he will prove is how often he can hand the ball to Heisman leader Steven Jackson. When you bring your defense up to stop Jackson, Anderson will feast on the single coverage in the secondary.

On defense, the Beavers will stuff the run and give Cody his third house of horror afternoon at Reser, even though it is a night game. You had better bring along a lot of quarterbacks and a lot of tape and stretchers. The spirit of Jack Daniels will waft through the fall night air at Reser. Johnny Walker and Old Granddad too.

Quick Picks: Washington is either pulling the greatest rope a dope since Zaire, or they really are as bad as they look, in which case Mr. Eaver is correct and the Beavers will romp. Normally a Beaver fan would be worried about facing a Husky team that became the laughingstock of the coast just one week before. Of course, Chris Tormey claimed to be worried about facing a Husky team coming off an embarrassment at UCLA. The Beavs are coming off a bye, and will watch tape from the Nevada game while trying to keep a straight face. Baring an eruption from Mt. Sieglar, or a re appearance of the long missing Husky Pride, we see no hope for this game.

OSU – 55, UW – 20

Washington State goes down to the farm, make that goes to another farm, to face the Stanford Cardinal, who even the Huskies could beat. The Cougars are the highest rated NW team as they climbed to 6th in the polls. That is the highest ranking for a NW team since the Ducks reached 6th last year. That worked out great, didn't it?

WSU – 73, Stanford – 0

UCLA survived an Arizona upset bid, as predicted here, except we predicted that Zona would win, and now faces Jeff Tedford and the Cal Bears, as the demonstrative Karl Dorrell continues his loud and brash climb to the top of the Pac 10. Cal hopes to bounce back from a home loss to OSU and stay in the race for the Roses.

Cal – 28, UCLA – 27

ASU goes out of league to play North Carolina in a real "who cares" match up. Oregon has a bye, which they should win.

In addition, as our Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III reports. the USC Trojans are coming off a huge dismantling of the Stanford Cardinal and head to Notre Dame where they hope to keep the echoes asleep for another year. USC cannot afford to be another Pac 10 team with an embarrassing loss to Notre Dame. The Irish did scrap the Worst Coast offense long enough to run all over Pitt, giving Ty Willingham his first victory this year over D1 competition. However, that will not be enough to slow down the nation's finest team who will not be looking ahead to an easy win in Seattle the following week.

USC – 38, Notre Dame – 14

Around the World: . . . Gary Pinkel led the Mizzou Tigers to their first win over Nebraska since the father of the Chosen One was in school there...It was their first win in Columbia since 1973….a packed excited house watched a creative offense and opportunistic defense overcome a fourth quarter Husker lead...next up is a trip to Norman to face the Sooners in front of a packed and excited house....Ouch babe...Husky fans worried about recruiting talent may be heartened to know that Mack Brown may soon be available...the Longhorn boss fills the NFL every year with players but you do not let OU hang 60 on you twice at a packed and excited Cotton Bowl and survive in Austin...the Canes swamped the ‘Noles in a mud bath at packed and excited Doak Campbell in Tallahassee...Ohio State's winning streak finally ended in Wisconsin in front of a packed and excited house at Camp Randall...talk of OSU's moving to the NFL has been put on hold...this really is the year of the blow out, as Georgia destroyed Tennessee at Neyland Stadium in front of a packed and excited house...small comfort to fans on the wrong end of this year of the blow out...we would be remiss not to mention another fine game by Rich Alexis...keep your head up, Rich.

Thanks for reading and forget all that crap about the sun coming up and it's only a game. We lost to freaking Nevada! We don't need sportsmanship, we need attitude! Race
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