Jennifer Lopez says "ENOUGH!"
  • Cougs RUN over Bruins
  • Ducks upset Cal
  • Angry Bears next for dogged Dawgs"> Jennifer Lopez says "ENOUGH!"
  • Cougs RUN over Bruins
  • Ducks upset Cal
  • Angry Bears next for dogged Dawgs">


    <b>IN THIS ISSUE:</b><ul> <li>Talented Wildcats come from behind <li>No answers from Husky "brain trust" <li>Jennifer Lopez says "ENOUGH!" <li>Cougs RUN over Bruins <li>Ducks upset Cal <li>Angry Bears next for dogged Dawgs</ul>

    Dawgs throw away game at Zona
    Race Bannon, stupid fan who does not know anything

    Let us admit upfront that the Jennifer Lopez headline was a cheap attempt to get her picture on the cover, thus bringing joy to depressed Husky fans after yet another bizarre loss to a clearly inferior team. We do apologize to any Wildcat fans in our readership audience, but clearly, the best team did not win that game. However, the best coach did have the plan and his players ready to win, and that is what matters in any sport.

    The Washington Huskies spent the first half in deep in Arizona territory squandering scoring chance after scoring chance, giving the hopeless hope and setting the stage for a re appearance of the pass happy attack that has spelled doom so often for the Huskies. One week after crushing the Oregon Ducks with a second half explosion of rushing prowess, the coaches returned to the three incompletes and a punt attack against UA.

    Fifty-one passes were thrown by the Huskies who had the lead for most of the game until the exhausted defense gave up one long run too many to Mike Bell. A belated comeback was stalled by penalties, sacks and missed passes. The Husky O line that had so much fun doing road grader work last week was never allowed to get in a rhythm as the coach went to the pass early and often, busting up the flow of the game. By the end of the game the pass protection was gone, as often happens when you are on the receiving end of blows instead of delivering them.

    It was just another sad chapter in the destruction of a once proud team by ignorant forces within and without the athletic department. We apologize dear readers, there just is not anything funny at all about this anymore. The only joke is on us, the saps that continue to pour millions of dollars a year into an irrevocably broken athletic department, with a snoozing school administration that can't even hire a President within two years.

    The only laughter is coming from the teams we once dominated, and now our enemies line up waiting for payback.

    Next up is an embarrassing blow out loss to Cal at Berkeley. Be there!
    Cougars run all over UCLA
    Rob Bobertson, Pullman WA, aka Football Capitol of the northwest

    The WSU Cougars only needed to complete eight passes, as they turned to the running game to defeat the stumbling and bumbling UCLA Bruins at Martin Vandal Stadium Saturday night.

    Head coach Lou Duva, after he was finished training his boxers, had reviewed tapes of the Huskies first half against the Bruins and noted that UW had taken the lead with a running game plan. It was not until the second half when the pass happy coaches had started spreading the field that the Bruins had taken over the game and won going away.

    Matt Kegel was on the sidelines because of his numerous injuries suffered in the kill your QB spread, and youngster Joe Swagger was not going to be given the chance to blow the game. It was not unlike the second half of the UW-UO game, where an injury forced UW to run the ball with great results. Memo to the Cougar defense, don't hurt Cody in the Apple Cup.

    There were 14 turnovers in this not so instant classic, the second home game in a row where the Cougs had 7 turnovers. It is the sign of a good team when they can win when playing so badly, although the locals would prefer not to see it every home game. The Cougars proved they can lose when playing badly at USC.

    The Cougars are bubbling with renewed confidence that they can take home the Apple Cup for the 4th time in 15 years this fall. With Rick Neuheisel gone and the Husky program in disarray, the time is now to pluck the apple from the Huskies' hands. This could be just the break we have been waiting for, but are the Huskies really weak enough for the Cougs to win? An Apple Cup victory is vital to cement the two-year-old domination of football in the state. Isn't that how long football has been played?
    Bellotti schools student Tedford
    Mallard N. Moore

    Jeff Tedford brought the lingering magic of his name to newly remodeled and a little more feared now Autzen Arena and left as the best damn 5-6 coach in America. The lights went out in the fourth quarter for Cal both figuratively and literally. The lights went out at Autzen in front of a national television audience. We are trying to track down the name of the Seattle electrical contractor who wired the New Autzen.

    The Oregon Ducks shocked the world, after Joe Stoner the lead electrician at Autzen shocked himself while restoring the lights, with a two-touchdown comeback in the fourth quarter to squeeze by the Bears 21-17 in a surprising defensive battle. Clemens, no Fife, no it was Clemens quarterbacked the yellow-bellied Ducks to glory while Keith Lewis was held in an isolation booth the week leading up to the game.

    As always gracious in victory, Mike Bellotti was beaming as he exclaimed, "Well, I wonder what all those idiots who wanted to replace me with Tedford have to say now!"

    "I have always been Mike's biggest booster," noted Bill Moos as the shredder in his office whirred away destroying the head coaching resumes he had been looking at. "Mike will always have a job here. He has the third league win now, so the 3-5 streak is safe."

    Phil Knight was overheard telling his security forces to cancel his late night meal with Tedford, as he rushed to the locker room to congratulate Bellotti and hopefully accidentally bump into some recruits.

    Next up for the revived Mallards is the patsy Bruins, who should be easy picking even without Bob Toledo dropping acid on the sidelines. I hope to see the life vest uniforms again for that one.

    Quick Picks: UW goes on the road to face California, which means a loss since it is outside the northwest. Yet, the Huskies are scheduled for a win because they were just embarrassed and nobody circles the wagons like the Washington Huskies every other game. However, that would schedule UW for a loss the following week in the Apple Cup. You can see the problem in attempting to handicap this game. The Bears just lost to Oregon, but return back to the friendly confines where they beat USC. If the Huskies run the ball 50 times they will win. If they pass the ball 50 times they will get blown out. Guess what we think they will do.

    California 56, UW 24

    WSU welcomes the reeling Stunned Devils of ASU to Martin Vandal Stadium. This just in, the Sun Devil players have returned home because they think the season is over. Well, it is.

    WSU 84, ASU 0

    Oregon should have no problem with the turnover prone UCLA team that is quietly playing out the string after quietly contending for the conference title for a while.

    UO 28, UCLA 17

    Around the World: Oklahoma just missed the 84 points we promised a couple of weeks ago, as Bob Stoops took the air out of the ball in the third quarter at 77 points against Texas A&M...Chuck Fairbanks is spinning in his grave...Speaking of Colorado, the Buffs upset Gary Pinkel's Mizzou Tigers in Boulder...Miami lost their second straight game...Va Tech lost to Pitt...Notre Dame beat Navy on the last play of the game...It was the Irish's second home win this year over inferior competition...Olympia High is rolling to state off a 35-7 win over Battleground...O'Dea stopped the Beach juggernaut, but both head to state...rah rah go many days until softball?

    Thanks for reading as always if anybody did – Race Top Stories