DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

-- <b>In Today's Issue</b> --<br><br><li> Notre Dame Withdraws Job Offer<br><li> Lucky Dawgs Are Back, Duck Fans Mourn<br><li> Cougars Are Number One!!!<br><li> Beavers Playing Out The String

But first, a personal word from the newest Dawgman.com contributor:

Recent events have made us all much more conscious of security issues in our daily lives. The death threats we receive on a daily basis from Duck fans have long been ignored as harmless pranks, other than the time they lit our office on fire. So, after much thought, and many straight bourbons, we have made the difficult decision to move our publishing empire's world wide headquarters from Open Season to Dawgman.Com.

I personally, am very appreciative of the kindness shown by Marty Martindale and Steve Summers at eDuck, who have put up with me for a few years now. But the increased security, and massive salary available at Dawgman made this an easy choice after all.

For those of you unfamiliar with our magazine, count your blessings. We print weekly, unless our legion of stringers all get the same batch of bad acid and we put truth in reporting at the top of our list. That would be our list of things that we don't deem very important.

Now, on to the games! – df

Trees Fall On Ducks


There were around 48,000 people there to hear the sound of a falling tree in the forest of Autzen Stadium, as the inspired Stanford squad, led by their backup QB, ended the nation's longest home winning streak, in a close, defensive battle Saturday.

Head Coach Mike Bellotti might have been expected to say, "Well, it looks like our luck finally ran out", but he didn't. Instead he denied rumors that had him heading to Notre Dame after the season. In a surprise, Notre Dame emphatically denied the same rumors.

Captain Billboard led the Stanford comeback with a well-placed pass to a wide-open Stanford linebacker, in the games key play. Then Kerry Carter did the rest, as the powerful Card O line dominated the reloaded Duck defensive line.

Lost in the disaster was the brilliant play of Keenan Howry, always a favorite of this drunken scribe.

Huskies Roll Dice Again, Come Up Winners


Head Coach Rick Neuheisel spent the better part of his post game press conference, explaining wagering odds on a pair of dice to inquisitive reporters who were interested in the massive amount of luck that surrounds the Husky football team.

After politely pointing out that certain coaches from southern regions might want to keep their newly shorn noses out of other teams' business, the popular and hugely successful Neuheisel praised his never say die Dawgs for another stirring, come from behind victory over a vastly superior opponent.

Rodeo star, Cody Pickett, the toughest man in college football, plans to rehabilitate his injured shoulder with some one-arm bull riding back on the ranch in Idaho this week. That should prepare him well for another week of swallowing pain on every one of the 455 yards he amassed in a school record performance against the Cats. If only he would have flipped into the end zone on the winning play with 13 seconds left.

Say what you want about the Huskies, and every one says something, they win, they're young, and they are on the way to building a special program at Montlake.

Cougars Accept Super Bowl Bid


Head Coach Mike Price spent the better part of his press conference explaining the nuances of the game to the thousands of fans who have appeared out of nowhere, pledging undying allegiance to the Crimson and Gray, if they can just score some Rose Bowl Tickets. The Bandwagon is in the shop, being enlarged to carry all the late comers, who didn't listen to yours truly, who after the first game of the year, pronounced the Cougars as being bowl bound, and ready to challenge for the conference crown, in the normally meaningless Apple Cup Classic.

They also beat Montana State, extending their reign of terror through Idaho, and into Montana. Can South Dakota be far behind?

The Week Ahead


Oregon at Washington State - My how the worm has turned on this one. This had been our blue light upset special since summer, as we felt the Ducks would be unbeaten and fat headed, and the Cougs would be mediocre, yet dangerous. Now the Cougs wear the fat heads, and the Ducks, well they still have those silly duck bills, but they also have a serious mad on, and may upset the nations' number one team at re named Martin Stadium. Expect another defensive classic for these two defensive minded squads.
Oregon 56, WSU 55

Washington at Arizona State - Which Sun Devil squad will we see, and which Husky team? Last year, these teams beat each other up in a truly ugly game that the Huskies won. Strange things happen in the desert at night, and this year should be no exception. I think they light the scoreboard, as Flowers runs for ASU and Pickett guns for UW. The underdog Huskies prevail as Brock hits Reggie Davis late.
UW 38, ASU 35

UCLA at Stanford - Repeat after me, the Bruins are for real. If you don't believe it now, you will after Saturday.
UCLA 45, Stanford – 17
As always, thanks to all our readers, and a big thanks to the Dawgman crew for giving me this spot. Care to set the over/under on the number of weeks before I blow it? - df

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