<b>IN THIS ISSUE:</b><ul> <li>Canes Cuff a Top National Class</li> <li>Trojans Take West Coast and National Honors</li> <li>Ducks Finally Buy a Decent Class</li> <li>Cougs Get the Dope on Top Players</li> <li>Huskies Get Top State Recruits, JC Help</li> <li>Hedges Retires Under Cloud of Scandals</li></ul>

The National Scene Race Bannon

Willie Williams, an elusive linebacker from Miami, ended the suspense by signing a LOI with the Miami Canes just before he was led off in hand cuffs. Williams is expected to attend Dade County Jail JC for a couple of years before being eligible to join the Canes.

Willie set a NCAA record for criminal counts on his five recruiting visits. Miami school authorities promised to tweak their 12 strikes and you are out policy when it comes to high profile recruits. Mike Bellotti was spotted in the Dade County courthouse looking for the judge in charge of the case.

The Canes did not pass the two schools who won the unofficial national recruiting championship. LSU and USC shared this crown to go along with their shared national championship.

The Trojans got almost everyone they wanted, but were unable to fit Alex Rodriguez under the salary cap. Southland new car dealers reported another winter of record sales in the South Central area, in another unrelated comment.

Nick Saban, now the highest paid coach in America, locked up another impressive group of recruits to continue the revival of the Tiger program.

Oklahoma raided the state of Texas and took the plums from under Mack Brown's nose. At least Brown can't blame being distracted by bowl preparation. Bob Stoops, under heavy fire for losing two games last season, needed a boost to keep the monster under control in Norman. Husky fans will see this class in 2005. Deprived of his annual recruiting title, Brown may be forced to beat Oklahoma on the field.

Alabama bounced back from a losing season to sign a surprisingly strong class. Experts thought that since the Tide was on probation and couldn't buy players like the rest of the SEC, they would be at a disadvantage.

Ron Zook brought in another strong class at Florida. Steve Superior can't wait to coach them in ‘05.

Once again the usual suspects in the top 20 got the top 20 classes, but recruiting ratings do not matter if your team did not get ranked.
Huskies Lock Up the State
Race Bannon

Led by Bankhead and Tui with an assist from Tyler Ashby, the Washington Huskies swept the cream off the top of the in state recruiting class. Johnnie Kirton, the Corey Dillon clone and record setting running back, chose Washington over Oregon showing again the excellence of Washington high schools in preparing students to make good decisions.

This was a class long on beef and attitude and short on soft players who prefer things like plasma TV and bidets in the locker room.

Keith Gilbertson cut through the usual mud slinging and trash emanating from southern climes and assembled a class called the best in a decade by insiders of the program.

Matt Tuiososopo was joined by cousin Trenton who plays linebacker to keep the Husky tradition alive. Dick Baird first offered Matt when he was in diapers. People often wondered why he drove a new car to grade school.

The Huskies met some immediate needs with help at safety and rush end from the JC ranks. Dashon Goldson fulfilled his commitment first given a couple years ago and will be called on to restore the fear factor for opposing receivers coming across the middle. Rashaad Goodrum is in charge of restoring the fear factor to opposing quarterbacks.

Keith Gilbertson continues to revamp his coaching staff and restocked the beef locker at UW as he looks forward to putting his stamp on the program and to fulfill his life long dream of leading the Huskies to the top.

A job well done.
Well, it is About Time at Oregon
Mallard N. Moore

After years of spending millions of dollars only to hear head coach Mike Bellotti whine about not getting the recruits he wanted, the Oregon Ducks finally broke through with a nationally ranked recruiting class. Some experts, those that we respect and agree with, ranked Oregon above UW!

Once again, the plush luxury of the Eugene Country Club locker room snared another top X-Box player from the state of Washington. Aaron Klovas joins former teammate Johnny DuRocher on the scout squad at UO. Ceasar Rayford, another teammate from Bethel was not offered due to his aggressive and nasty attitude on the field and his "I could care less" comment about the plasma locker screens.

The Ducks locked up some highly rated California talent and added some mighty mites to their Mini Me defensive backfield. No letters to judges were required this year, but insiders say to keep an eye on Willie William's trial.

Bill Moos all but threw himself at the feet of the UW Board of Regents begging for the Athletic Director job. He seems very anxious to get out of Eugene, according to our sources at the Seattle P-I. We do not need him anyway. What did he ever do for Oregon?
The Dynasty Continues
Esther Shapiro

The WSU Cougars got the straight dope on a class full of stars and JC transfers, and landed a class that has the faithful putting down their Farmer's Almanacs and watching Law and Order.

Recruiting coordinator Blake Carrington says that this class will continue The Dynasty in Pullman. The Cougars struck oil when a highly rated recruit got busted, scaring off schools with integrity, allowing the Cougars to sign him. Cougar fans quickly defended the decision by talking about Jerramy Stevens.

The Cougars were relegated to taking second choice in state, but that is what happens when you get slapped around every year by your big bro instate.
Beaver Report
Race Bannon

It really is a shame the way that this magazine ignores Oregon State and gives them almost no mention at all in various issues.
And Finally….How about those Dawgs!?...Husky hoops is back and the old Hec Ed is rocking...Nate "Bo" Robinson is leading the way....See you this spring Nate?...The Hedges error ended with a whimper...take a nice walk Ms. Hedges...the compliance office is getting a makeover as well in anticipation of the NCAA visit...the hunt for a president and AD continues...we support Bill Moos, the man who stared down the NCAA...Quarterback will be the most watched race in spring, but finding an O Line is the critical mission...The Gilby Era is underway – see you at the Spring Game!

Thanks for reading – Race Top Stories