• Ducks win Pac 10 title – Settle For Rose Bowl

  • Cougs Against Dawgs For Prestigious Holiday Bowl Bid

  • Bob Toledo Admits He Drops Acid
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  • Ducks win Pac 10 title – Settle For Rose Bowl

  • Cougs Against Dawgs For Prestigious Holiday Bowl Bid

  • Bob Toledo Admits He Drops Acid
  • ">

    DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

    <b>Jonathan Smith Is Our Sportsman Of The Year</b><br> <i>Beavers Earn Back # 1 Ranking</i><ul> <li>"Beavers Are The Greatest Team I Have Ever Seen" – R. Neuheisel</li><br> <li>Ducks win Pac 10 title – Settle For Rose Bowl</li><br> <li>Cougs Against Dawgs For Prestigious Holiday Bowl Bid</li><br> <li>Bob Toledo Admits He Drops Acid</li></ul>


    Sportsman Of The Year leads Beavers past Huskies

    Jonathan Smith grew up dreaming of playing quarterback for the Washington Huskies. As a high school senior, he sent tapes every week to the Husky coaches, hoping for a scholarship offer. The Huskies were experiencing salary cap problems at the time, and could not afford to sign him – or was that Randy Johnson?

    Anyway, so he went to Corvallis, and seemed destined to sit behind the awesome talent stockpiled there. Until a gloomy November day in Seattle, when the Huskies were halfway to yet another drubbing of the Beavers, and a desperate Mike Riley inserted the seldom-used freshman walk on into the lineup. 469 yards later the Beavers had fallen one point short (thank GOD that Nigel Burton got a pinky on that last two-point conversion pass) of a rare victory in Seattle.

    While the fans of other schools called him a midget, Husky fans grew to respect this little warrior with the big heart. Smith always saved his best for the Huskies, and on Saturday, he was rewarded with the honor of becoming the first OSU quarterback since 1974 to lead his team to victory in Corvallis over the Huskies.

    Head Coach Dennis Erickson, maligned unfairly by some jaded scribes as Coach Jack Daniels, prepared a masterful game plan that was executed to perfection by the eager Beaver players. The out manned Huskies, finally exposed, had no chance to stop the juggernaut Orange Express. It was a shocking defeat for the proud Husky franchise, and the rumblings of discontented boosters could be heard from Montlake to the Hermosa Beach Nordstrom store.

    I had a chance to speak to the leader of the Tyee Cabal, Dr. Evil, a 1964 graduate of the UW Medical School, and asked him point blank if Neuheisel's job was in jeopardy.

    "Rick's job is safe. For now." Stated Dr. Evil. "I won't need to remind him what happened to the last coach to let the Cougs dance on Husky Stadium turf."

    In a related development, Coach Hundley will be calling the defensive alignments from a safe house in the University District. Coach Hundley entered the Coordinator Protection Program late Saturday evening after reading the dawgman.com message boards.
    Ducks rout Bruins, Toledo enters Rehab

    Bob Toledo picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue, and took up an unfortunate LSD habit that had the coach of the Bruins hallucinating that he was actually a head coach.

    We have searched the college football archives, and have yet to find another coach who bled the clock to set up a real "gimmie" - a 50-yard field goal. Toledo's Bruins blew at least 50 seconds off the clock, and then ran a sweep to the right, instead of up the middle, just to ensure that it was as tough as humanly possible for the kick to be made. Toledo, ever the stand up guy, blamed the ineptitude of his players as the reason for his bizarre strategy. Then he jumped out of a window, screaming, "I'm a flying spider and my web is all around you!"

    The Oregon Ducks are rewarded with the Pac 10 Championship, and this year they don't have to share. The Civil War is but a mere formality this year, as the Ducks have already beaten the Beavers in their minds.

    The Ducks plan to spend the next two weeks in Tahiti, working on their tans, so they'll look good for the cameras at the BCS Championship Game. A quick trip back home for the formality of crushing the Beavs, and it's off to Southern California to clean up on recruits and win the National Championship.

    It is somewhat of a damper that the Ducks only get to go to the Rose Bowl, a bowl that lost it's luster last year, but the alternative could have been much worse, the Fiesta Bowl. Thoughts in the state of Oregon about the Fiesta Bowl run along the lines of "been there, just did that with the Beavers last year".

    Duckfighter Illustrated extends sincere congratulations to the Ducks for their Civil War win and that National Championship that is just a formality. And a tip of the hat, to Coach of the Year, 3rd place finisher, Mike Bellotti.
    THIS WEEKS GAMES:


    - - THE APPLE CUP: BATTLE FOR SAN DIEGO --

    After the disappointment of playing in the Rose Bowl last year, the Huskies are thrilled to have a shot at the prestigious Holiday Bowl. But first, they must get by the cocky Cougars, who strut into Seattle with the swagger born of numerous championships, albeit spaced 67 years apart.

    The reeling Huskies, rumored by those numerous and always accurate Internet outlets to be interviewing coaches, hope to bounce back big and avoid the waiver wire for several players. The Huskies bend and break defense needs some tweaking, and sore-armed slinger, Cody Pickett needs to get back on the bucking bronco and lead his team to the Promised Land once again. The good news is, this game isn't being played at Reser Stadium, a regular house of horrors for the future Heisman winner.

    Cougar fans already have this one in the win column, as they believe Haley's Comet has come 63 years early, and the Cougars are much stronger than the hated Huskies and their yachts and electricity and indoor plumbing. Jason Guesser will need to correctly guess the answers to the medical staffs questions, to be cleared to play. The Cougs come in with a group of rangy, fast receivers, and a running back that collects Social Security. The Cougar defense is iron clad tight, well most of the time, anyway.

    I see a pack of angry Dawgs, determined to regain the respect that was lost in Corvallis, as the Montlake Monsters rip the kitty cats to shreds. On the plus side, Cougar fans can stay in Seattle for the Bowl game.

    Prediction: UW 51, WSU – 3

    -- UCLA at USC --

    You had better buy your pay per view early for this one, as a worldwide audience is expected to watch this clash of the titans. Not just the city championship, not just the state championship, not just the national championship, but also the Championship of the World, is at stake here.

    As a bonus, Gary Beban and OJ Simpson will decide the Heisman winner. John Robinson will be on hand to dance, Dick Vermeil cries, and the whole country will stop to watch this classic game.

    Available on local cable only, must have converter to buy, not available in most areas, must have parents permission to watch.

    Prediction: USC 17, UCLA 16

    -- The Big Game – California at Stanford --

    In a salute to hyperbole, the Cards and Bears renew the Bay Area Classic, known simply as, The Game. Expect Cal to go all out for their first win of the season, as they run smack into the Genius of Palo Alto. It will take a late chip shot by Tiger Woods to seal the deal.

    Prediction: Stanford 59, California 16

    -- Northern Arizona at Oregon State --

    The Beavers hope to build on the big win over the Huskies, as they step up in class to play the Northern Arizona Somethings. It will be important for the Beavers not to awaken their cross state rivals to the building Beaver machine. Look for Erickson to keep things under wraps.

    Prediction: OSU 49, NAU 24
    COMING NEXT WEEK: The Vaunted Canes - Sin, Sun, and Swagger:
    A look inside the most decorated program in America, including:
    - Killer Speed: Can You Have Too Much?
    - Larry Coker: Can He Fill Erickson's Shoes?
    - Ken Dorsey: The Dirty Husky D, and How To Beat It.
    - Will The Third Time Be The Charm?

    And from www.Grassy.Com - Just how big will the blow out be?
    Thanks to all our readers! Race Bannon can be reached at duckfighter@dawgman.com

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