DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

<b>IN THIS ISSUE:</b><ul> <li>Dawg Defense Much Improved<l/i> <li>Lobendahn Leads the Way</li> <li>Legendary Comeback for Cougars</li> <li>Beavers Miss the Point</li> <li>Ducks are Ready for Hoosier Invasion</li></ul>

Fresno takes Huskies to the woodshed
Race Bannon

It was a beautiful sunny day for the opener at Husky Stadium Sunday afternoon. The Huskies looked like the sun was shining once again in the Husky Nation as they began the game with a spirited, hard hitting defense that had Fresno back on their heels.

Alas, the familiar bugaboos returned as a sloppy kicking game and bizarre offense that turned offensive doomed the Huskies and sent them to their third straight opening day loss.

Joe Lobendahn and Dashon Goldson led the way with speed and hard hitting for the renewed Dawg Day Defense. Isaiah Stanback came off the bench to account for all the first half scoring, running one in and throwing a TD pass to Fresno as the half ended at 7-7.

The Huskies offense gave Fresno three more touchdowns in the second half as the game and possibly the season evaporated in front of 130,000 stunned eyes at Montlake. Familiar calls for everyone's head now ring out in the vast wasteland of cyberspace. The skies are now filled with gloom as the very real possibility of the first losing record since 1976 sinks in with the sinking feeling now felt by the Husky faithful

We must remember that when a young man signs a letter of intent to play at Washington, or Oregon forges a letter of intent for him to play at Oregon, that young man knows that he is entering a school where winning is not only expected, it is demanded. At least at Washington. Very few people set out in life to be a loser. I am confident that none of the young men playing, or the older men coaching want to bring about the destruction of Husky Football as we know it. I don't want to write a crappy magazine each week either, but stuff happens.

Two weeks lie ahead for all concerned to prove the adage about the most improvement coming between the first and second game. It might be time for the fall camp that seems to have not happened judging by the readiness of some positions It might be time for some serious soul searching about the offensive offense we continue to see each week.

Nobody wants to be a loser, but every winner means someone lost. How bad does this team not want to be a loser? Stay tuned. Race Bannon disappeared shortly after turning in this article. He has been sighted at the Shady Oaks Home for the Criminally Insane, where he is resting comfortably after electric shock therapy.
Cougars mount legendary comeback
Rob Bobertson

The game against Los Lobos of New Mexico will go down in the annals of Coug Lore as one of the most sensational comebacks in school history.

To go into the home of the defending national champions and walk out with a victory speaks volumes about the type of talent that The Dynasty has amassed in Pullman.

Two length of the field drives that covered a total of seven yards allowed the Cougs to overcome a ten point deficit in the fourth quarter.

We asked a noted football expert for his take on the game.

"Josh Swogger played like crap" noted Race Bannon as he downed another bottle of Prozac with another fifth of Jim Beam, "but he didn't give the opponent four touchdowns, and that turned out to be the difference in the game"

The Cougars could neither stop the run, nor run the ball themselves which is usually a sure sign of impending doom, but this is The Dynasty and we make our own rules.

General Barney Barnett brings his run happy Buffs to Hot Tub High Field at Seahawk Stadium for the Cougars annual game in front of more than 25,000 fans. If the Cougs couldn't stop New Mexico on the ground, how can they stop the glorious Bobby Purify?

Colorado - 28, WSU - 16
Doh! Beavers kick game away
Benny B. Lever

The Oregon State Beavers played a game for the ages that brought back memories of the fabled Giant Killers of 1967, only to kick it away in overtime on a missed extra point. It may have been a mistake for the Beaver coaches to get special teams tips this summer from the Husky staff.

The legendary Bayou Bengals of LSU came into the game ranked in the top three nationally and holding a piece of the National Championship. LSU was a prohibitive favorite, and some so called experts predicted that LSU would win 45-10.

A gully washer that delayed the game 50 minutes and turned the field to mush negated the speed advantage of the Tigers and allowed the fired up Beavers to grab hold of Big Mo from the start and keep the loud crowd of Billy Bobs quiet throughout the night.

Derrick Anderson narrowly avoided his usual string of interceptions and showed the poise of a senior playing in hostile territory. His fourth down pass in the overtime was a thing of beauty, and should have been enough to force a second OT. Alas, the point after was no good, and for the second time, Mike Reilly leaves an enemy stadium done in by a failed extra point.

Nick Saban was able to get his green QBs to do just enough to get LSU to the overtime, as he stuck with the highly touted red shirt freshman sensation who led his team to the tying touchdown and two point conversion. The watchful eye of Saban's former boss was sure to have noticed this contrast.

The Beavers now go from the frying pan into the fire of a game at Bosie State this Friday night. A short week to get ready for the WAC power may mean another loss for the Beavs, who deserve better. But we have to go with the power conference in this one, and pick the defending WAC champs.

Boise State - 65, OSU - 42
Cheating Ducks finally open season
Mallard N. Moore

The Indiana Hoosiers make their second trip out west in as many years to take on a northwest football team as they invade recently remodeled Autzen Arena for the Duck's season opener.

The Ducks always open well at home and should have no trouble with Bobby Knight's Hoosiers, who are looking to return to the Final Four next April. This is a warm up for the Ducks trip to Norman to face Oklahoma. Duck fans are giddy with the news that Bowling Green only lost by 16 points in a moral victory for Oregon. Insiders at the program are convinced that UO can keep it even closer than that for another moral defeat.

Of course if you lose to the Huskies by 30 points every year, one can only imagine how many points the Sooners will hang on them. More on that next week. The Ducks better take care of business with Indiana first.

UO - 77, IU - 0
And the Rest: - USC takes on Colorado State in a game that Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III deigns too insignificant to cover...UCLA hopes to rebound from getting run over by OK State as they travel to Illinois...Take heart Bruin fans, the UW game is almost here...Notre Dame looked like crap against BYU setting up a Toilet Bowl against UW in a couple of weeks...NBC may drop the game in favor of a Classic XFL replay...Ty and Gilby will sport 'They Hate Me' jerseys...Cal blew out the Flyboys at Colorado Springs...Imagine that?...Next up is Mew Mexico State at home...The Snitch may hang a hundred on them...Hang in there Husky fans, Softball is just around the corner.

Thanks for Reading! - Race

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