<b>IN THIS ISSUE:</b><ul> <li>Huskies Collapse Against UCLA: The Sequel<br> <li>Bruin Running Back Sets School Record: The Sequel</li> <li>Cougs Upset Idaho for Old Oaken Beer Can</li> <li>Ducks Look Impressive in Moral Defeat</li> <li>Beavers Finally Crack Win Column, Pay for Damages</li> <li>Indiana is Blown Out by Kentucky</li></ul>

LA's Second Stage Act a Hit in Seattle
Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III – USC correspondent

The UCLA Bruins spotted the Washington Huskies their customary large first half lead and then stormed back behind Marvelous Maurice Drew to bury the Huskies 37-31 Saturday night at venerable and even less filled Husky Stadium.

Editors Comment: You don't have to say it all in one sentence, Cubbs, break it up a little.

The Bruins have been relegated to off Broadway status by their superiors at USC, home of the defending and soon to be once again National Champions.

Editors Comment: Focus Cubbs, focus. This isn't about USC

UCLA was on the road for the second week in a row for the Pac 10 opener. It was a huge game for both squads as each tries desperately to cling to the fast fading glory of days gone by as the Trojans kick butt and take names all across the nation.

Editors Comment: Last warning Troy

The Huskies did look like the Montlake Maulers of old as they opened the game with an impressive drive led by the Dos Palos Legend, Kenny James. The defense and special teams caused some turnovers and Casey (It is Casey not Corey right?) Paus shook off his bad first game to make some nice throws down field as the Huskies jumped to a 24-7 lead.

I figured that the game was a lock since the soft Bruins would quit, so I hopped into my rental Escalade to catch a quick flight to Provo to watch the Trojans jump all over BYU. The Trojans did win the game easily to wrap up their Mountain West title and turn their eyes towards the Pac 10 crown. But enough about USC. For now. Sources have told me that some Bruin running back did an OJ impression and ran all over the allegedly improved Husky defense.

Maurice Drew, rated behind only Reggie Bush and Lendale White coming out of high school, ripped off 5 long TD runs and ran for 323 yards in a performance that was very impressive, if not a bit overdone for the local fans who have seen similar things too many times in recent years. That's why the Bruins are still off Broadway. No originality.
Put the Echoes to Sleep
Race Bannon

The Huskies travel to the legendary NBC television studio in South Bend, Indiana to play Notre Dame, the states second best team behind the Hoosiers of Indiana. Notre Dame might not be capable of walking into Autzen Arena and leaving with a win like the Hoosiers did, but they are tough at home.

Ty Willingham will be looking for his first win ever against the Huskies. Ty couldn't even beat Rick Neuheisel. Only the annual loss to UCLA kept UW from knocking Stanford out of the Rose Bowl in the 1999 season. Now the former Tree coach faces off against a former Cal Bear coach as they take their disagreement across the country to the fruited plains of Indiana's industrial arm pit.

A loss to the winless Dawgs will start the fire watch all over again. UW has never beaten Notre Dame in four tries.

The Huskies have shown an alarmingly bad offense against Fresno CC and an alarmingly bad defense against UCLA . If you prefer to be more positive, you can say they are due for a game with both units working well. Coach Baird has already staked out this high ground, leaving the low ground to me as usual.

I say that this is the week that both units stink up the joint.

Notre Dame – 45. Washington – 20
Chop Down the Trees
Troy ‘Cubby' Wadsworth III

The nation's finest team travels to the Farm to take on Buddy Ball in an early season Pac 10 classic. The game is part of a double header and will follow a Women's Badminton game with a two for one ticket offer. Tiger Woods is expected to return and use up his final year of eligibility and play QB for the surprising Tree. Stanford is 2-0, not that anyone knows that in Palo Alto.

USC – 38, Buddy Ball – 12

How much does Nike pay those announcers, anyway?
Mallard N. Moore

Never has one team gotten so much praise for losing so big. You would think that it was Oregon that won 31-7 by the way that the Nike-bought TV announcers were pimping them. Can I say pimping in a family magazine?

Editors Comment: If it is about Oregon, yes you can.

I realize that I am a big Duck honk and actually predicted a Duck win, but I have to protest the type of defeatist attitude that looks for comfort in a four touchdown loss. If that is the case then UO played great against Washington the last two years as well.

Oklahoma was disinterested most of the afternoon and Bellotti wasn't trying to win anyway and it still got out of hand. ‘Yo' Adrian Peterson gashed the soft Duck defense and Jason White hit two out of three passes while the Duck offense dinked and dunked its way to irrelevancy. Race Bannon confided in me that he is thrilled that UO is running that worst coast offense or whatever it is that gobbles ground between the 20's while breaking down in the Red Zone. Much better than the high scoring Tedford Attack they used to have.

I think that the Husky fans are right. We should not accept this mediocre losing. Indiana is understandable, but Oklahoma is the last straw. Fire Bellotti! Mr. Moore is in the Federal Witless Protection Program

Up Next: Oregon – 26, Idaho – 0

Really, no comment is required. Even the Dynasty could rout these guys.
Cougars Claim Old Oaken Beer Can
Rob Bobertson

One of the Northwest's oldest and most bitter rivalries was renewed Saturday night at Martin P. Vandal Stadium. The cocky Vandals of Idaho, winners of two games in the recent series came in flying high after holding Boise State to 65 points.

The Cougars were hoping to regain the offensive prowess that left with Mike Price and his band of strippers.

Josh Swogger was given a last chance to start and ended up injured which once again puts the Cougar season on Alex ‘Season on the' Brink.

Cougar fans, always a delusional bunch at best, have taken it to another level as they rejoice and dance in the streets as they parade the Old Oaken Beer Can through the dirt roads of Pullman.

Are we sure that Rob Bobertson wrote this mess?

Next Up: The Wrong Stoops has his Wildcats of Arizona playing fired up defense which is bad news for the struggling Cougar offense. This is a day game in the desert which spells doom for the razor thin and inexperienced Cougar defense. Arizona vaults to the top of the Pac.

UA – 22, WSU – 6
Time and space constraints don't allow us to report that Derrick Anderson narrowly avoided his usual string of interceptions while leading OSU to their first win of the season over New Mexico. Nor can we report that next up for the Beavers is a game at Arizona State that they will get blown out in to the tune of 27-7.

Around the World: ASU crushed Iowa in a revenge game to join USC and Jeff Tedford U at the top of the class...Tedford U got blown a hurricane...the Bears now enjoy a 60 day vacation and world cruise...San Diego State nearly won at wary very wary as Elmer Fudd once noted...LSU lived by the blown extra point and now they died by it...I'm still looking out my window for the Poulsbo RV that will take me to South Bend….keep your chin up Husky fans, it makes a better target.

Thanks for reading! – Race. Top Stories