DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

<b>IN THIS ISSUE</b><ul> <li>Beavers Hang 50 on Reeling Ducks</li> <li>Knight Forced to Step Down at Nike</li> <li>Bellotti Goes Into the Bunker</li> <li>OSU is Your Northwest Champs</li> <li>Bears Maul Giants</li> <li>Flying Pigs in Pullman</li></ul>

Call it the Beaver State
Race Bannon

The Oregon State Beavers assumed ownership of the state with an historic thrashing of the 5-3 headed to 5-6 Oregon Ducks Saturday night on Mike Reilly Field at Reser Stadium.

It was 50-21 and it should have been worse. Derrick Anderson completed his farewell revenge tour of the Northwest teams that he had been so generous to in earlier years. The razor sharp Anderson shredded the over rated Duck defense and left the future NFL defensive line scratching their heads and calling their agents about leaving early for the draft.

"I'm not sure that the best team on the field won…." explained Mike Bellotti in a closed circuit post game news conference from his bunker. "…..in the Apple Cup. Here at the Civil War, there is almost no question that the Beavers had better players tonight. It certainly wasn't coaching."

The lackluster and over rated Ducks looked like they would rather be playing X Box in the luxurious accommodations at the House the Joey and Jeff Built. Alas, the Ducks were in a street fight in Corvallis with the Black Bandits of Benton County and no quarter would be given.

While the Beavers toasted their first Northwest Cup in three decades, the Ducks were left to examine the wreckage of their former wanna be proud program. Noted experts have pinned the problem to the following areas:

1. Bill Moos' obsession with Washington. Committing major violations is not the path to greater winning. It has long been an article of faith in Duck Lore that the Huskies are cheaters as an explanation for the decades of ownership by Washington and the superior accomplishments of the Husky Program. Moos' decision to ramp up the cheating has brought a different type of player to Oregon. They just don't bleed lemon and lime anymore. And that lime green ink on JJ Arrington's forged LOI didn't seem to help…

2. Mike Bellotti's long term contract has made him complacent. After hustling the locals with trips to Columbus and Los Angeles, Bellotti has steadily regressed and just completed his 5th non winning conference season in ten years. With the brains of the operation getting ready for the Rose Bowl the curtain has been drawn back for good on the mighty Oz. Oregon is locked into Bellotti as coach. They had better start forging LOIs now. Oh yea, they already tried that.

3. Phil Knight's incessant meddling finally got him fired as President of Woods/Jordan/Nike. The board could no longer justify the expenditure of over one hundred million dollars on a failed enterprise like Oregon Football. The mercurial Knight is said to be threatening to go Steinbrenner and take over day to day operations of his football club. With his checkbook frozen, he can't make that 6 million dollar a year offer to Jeff Tedford.

In fairness to the Ducks, it was a glorious ten year run since football began in 1994. As the Ducks swim off into the sunset we will always remember the lack of a Rose Bowl championship and the sleazy recruiting tactics used by the sleazy Bellotti to build his empire of mediocrity in Eugene. The entire DFI staff wishes Coach Bellotti many more years in Eugene. We feel real bad about that losing season. Honest.
Flying Pigs Save Choking Cougars
Mallard N. Moore

Mike Bellotti was right, the best team on the field probably did not win the Apple Cup, but that was only because the former Husky coach refused to play his best team until it was too late. It was barely too late, as it is almost never too late for the WSU squad to Coug It.

Mere weeks after blowing a big 4th quarter lead against Oregon, the Cougars almost did it again against a crippled 1-win Husky Squad that had already spotted WSU two gift touchdowns. Washington hadn't scored over 13 points in months, but managed to put up 15 points in a spirited 4th quarter rally behind wide receiver Isaiah Stanback. Stanback found the little used Craig Chambers on two big pass plays to draw the Huskies within three points with mere minutes left in the game.

WSU managed to hang on thanks to an uncalled offensive pass interference that got them a key first down. The Huskies were forced to play their softball team on defense due to injuries and suspensions, but we don't make excuses here.

Husky fans can be heartened that the season is over and the Gilby Era is now but a piece of soon to be forgotten history. Someday Race will cool down enough to examine the era in a coolly dispassionate way. Husky fans can also find solace in the scores of broke Cougars who gave the 11 points.

The Huskies went zero for the Northwest this year, but unlike the rest of us they will get a new coach and come back stronger than ever. Same as it ever was. Out of the flames will come the steely resolve to crush all enemies and regain the crown and rule the nation. And DFI will be there for every minute of it.

In Other Blood Feuds: In what might have been Jeff Tedford's last game at Earthquake Park, the Bears mauled the Stanford Giants in the Big Game…everything is coming up Roses at Cal…President Emmert said getting a coach from the same conference is no big deal during a pre game interview in an unrelated item…Clemson and South Carolina brawled in Lou Holtz's last regular season game…Ohio State beat on Michigan behind a shocking wide open attack…the young Bucks earned their wheels with that one…Auburn buried Bama and Utah blasted BYUUSC hosts Notre Dame this Saturday night…look out Trojans…enjoy your Turkey and those last precious few college football games…be a good sport always…unless you lose to your rival.

Thanks for Reading! – Race

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