<b>IN THIS ISSUE</b><ul> <li>Huskies beat Oklahoma and Bama back to back</li> <li>Not in football though</li> <li>Echoes fast asleep against Trojans</li> <li>Coach search hits full steam</li> <li>Tedford and Bears face Southern Mississippi</li> <li>LA City Championship on tap</li></ul>

Trojans so cool they ought to be ice baby
Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III – 0ut on bail

The Echoes were fast asleep Saturday night as the USC Trojans waltzed to their third straight blow out win over Notre Dame at soggy John McKay Field at Pete Carroll Stadium. The Trojans poured it on with a fake punt and Matt Leinart's 5th touchdown pass to cruise to a 41-10 win.

USC safely covered the spread and should keep their top seed heading into the LA City Championship. Ty Willingham is on the hot seat in South Bend and is now the front runner for the open job at San Jose State. In a familiar scenario, Jeff Tedford and Urban Meyer are the front runners for the Irish head job.

"I thought we were ready to compete against the Pac 10's best" explained Ty as he remembered the big 38-3 win over league power Washington. "That fake punt won't be forgotten when we play Washington next year."

Our sources indicate that Keith Gilbertson is also in contention for the Notre Dame job. The Irish are not ready to give up yet on hiring failed Pac 10 coaches. This magazine is not done with its cheap shots either. Throw Mike Bellotti's name into the mix.

Pete Carroll is not a candidate as he already has the best job in America and a line up of All Pros returning for the Trojan's third straight national championship next year. The Miami Dolphins need not apply either; the Trojans have more talent than they do. Of course, USC is not constrained by a salary cap.

The UCLA Bruins are all that stands in the way now for USC. Noted expert Race Bannon sees this game as a big trap for SC, as the Bruins were vastly improved this year. It is difficult to go unbeaten, but the Charmin-like powder blue pansies will not stop the Trojans now. Karl Dorrell will have his Bruins fired up like they were playing the Huskies but it won't be enough to stop America's Team.

USC – 35, UCLA – 24
Huskies rule the Great White North
Race Bannon

The Washington Huskies knocked off legendary powers Oklahoma and Alabama back to back to take the crown of the Great Alaska Shoot Out.

Of course, it was basketball, not football, but a familiar figure led the way for the Purple and Gold, Nate Robinson. It was a total team effort as the Huskies showed their speed and teamwork can cut down bigger foes.

Next up are the cute little Zags who got their butts kicked by the Fighting Illini. This one will be in Spokane at the New Kennel and the Dawgs will be without their all-around leader, Brandon Roy. This is a huge game for the Huskies as they try to snap the string of losses to the little team that can.

UW – 88, Zags – 50
Coach search picks up steam
Race Bannon

Several years ago Sports Illustrated named the best three coaches in America as follows:

1 – Don James
2 – Don James
3 – Don James

Just this week Duckfighter Illustrated named the top three choices for the new Husky coach as follows:

1 – Jeff Tedford
2 – Jeff Tedford
3 – Jeff Tedford

Rumors from the Bay Area claim that several deep pocket donors are coming forward to give Tedford the big raise and to renovate Earthquake Park, in an effort to lock up the wunderkind coach for years to come as Cal gets serious about big time football. Or so they are saying once again. These "plans" are more secret than the Manhattan Project, and just as old.

The group called ‘Progressives for More Important Things than Militaristic Football' has served notice that the hundreds of millions of dollars earmarked for this enterprise could be better used in peaceful pursuits such as the violent overthrow of George W. Bush.

"To think that a place like Berkeley would support the exploitation of student athletes in order to enrich the bank account of a coach is shocking to us all" explained Blossom Butterfly, formerly of Eugene, until she got jailed by Mike Bellotti for messing with his big raise. "Everyday kids go to school hungry, yet we want to spend millions on play palaces for ego maniacal jocks and the violence they bring to our peaceful society. We will burn it down if they build it in order to preserve peace!"

There are many other candidates as well, and our crack smoking…er, crack staff will keep you informed as the search goes on. Rumors are piling up faster than the time it took the Red Sox to go from loveable to annoying. Just remember this one name as you recall the recent roots of new President Mark Emmert. Tommy Tuberville. He owes Auburn one if you know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, I'll tell you. Last season Auburn boosters and some school officials paid Bobby Petrino a visit at Louisville to offer him the Auburn job when Tuberville still had it. This was a minor slip up that might explain the reason why coaches often go to greener pastures when they are on top.

Elsewhere: Jeff Tedford coaches what might be his last regular season game this Saturday at Southern Miss…the Bears need a big win to get that BCS berth ahead of Texas…A UCLA win over SC will send Cal to the Holiday anyway…Texas beat A&M to finish 10-1…Utah is unbeaten and in the BCS top 6…Louisville hung 70 on Cincinnati and will miss the BCS because they don't join the Big Least until next year…Louisville versus Utah would be a great bowl game you won't see…How about Utah - Michigan in the Rose Bowl?...shoot me now…Auburn is going to get left out…How would you like to have a very rare unbeaten season in a year when two others do as well…OUCH…Boise State finished off their unbeaten season and will be on the outside looking in…Oregon was picked to finish second in the Pac 10 and went 5-6…we'll crow about that in our season in review issue…you thought we'd review Washington's season?...Bill Doba will remain at Wazzu despite destroying the Dynasty…It's conference championship week – Enjoy!

Thanks for Reading! – Race Top Stories