DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

In this Issue: - Husky Hoopsters Tourney Bound Again - Romar rules the roost - Ducks miss tourney again - Cute Little Zags whining again - Bring on Utah State!


Huskies wrap regular season with meaningless loss to nobody
Race Bannon

The last two years have found the Washington Huskies with a lot on the line at the PAC Ten Tourney. In 04, it was thought that the Huskies needed a few more wins to validate their amazing late season run and secure a bid to the Big Dance. In 05, the Huskies needed to win the tourney to claim a #1 Seed, which they did. But this year the Huskies were pretty much locked into a 4 or 5 seed, so they played their A-game for 20 minutes, then returned home to prepare for the Big Dance.

The PAC Ten Tourney was unremarkable other than showing once again how classless the University of Oregon is. This time their Wunderkind point guard, who wasn't good enough to stay home and play for Washington, landed a cheap shot to the jaw and nose of Ryan Appleby. Oregon coach Ernie Kent chose to overlook this unacceptable behavior and said that he could not comment on the thuggery of his player. Kent, who has had to make plenty of excuses for his own behavior of late, declined to add to the measly one game suspension that Brooks received. Kent is really feeling the pressure of yet another failure of a season, and finds himself closer to the unemployment line as each day passes. Only Kent's legendary ability to touch boosters (or their families) has saved him so far. Kent was unavailable for comment as he was in Mexico for Spring Break.

An irate Bill Moos commented, "It is just like Washington to put a player's jaw in front of an innocent Duck elbow in order to smear the good name of Oregon Athletics." Brooks will sit out the Husky game in Seattle next year, a move the school called "disciplinary." Yeah, right. Sorry Dawgpack, no low-hanging fruit will be available at that game next year.

Moos then quietly positioned Oregon to take advantage of the newly fired up hoop rivalry by asking the PAC Ten to schedule all basketball games between UO and UW for Mac Court. PAC 10 commissioner Phil Knight is expected to agree, since it has worked out so well in football scheduling.

But enough about non tourney teams like Oregon.

It was the UCLA Bruins who showed they were the best team on the coast by winning both the regular season and tourney titles in the PAC 10. The red hot Bruins were rewarded with a #2 seed and the easiest path to the Final Four of any PAC team. The others all face daunting 2nd round foes, if they avoid a first round upset.

The Huskies face Utah State, a tested tourney team with a knack for upsets. Then Illinois and then a Sweet 16 rematch with Connecticut.

This just in, the Huskies will play them one at a time and will have their hands full to escape San Diego with two wins and a repeat trip to the Sweet 16.

On the positive side, they are playing in the Washington Regional, so they have that going for them, which is nice. It is also a region where the Huskies are the big favorite and the #1 and #5 seed.
Zags headed for doom
Litigious wannabe Spokane internet publisher

A tight lipped Gonzaga coach, Alvin T. "Coach C" Chipmunk, tightened his tight lips even further to the point of having no lips at all as he discussed the shocking and lowly #3 seed that the Rolling Papers ended up with after another cardiac inducing game against the woeful opposition in the Zig-Zags alleged conference. Even all world Adam Morrison wasn't enough to get the Blunts the #1 seed they so richly deserve for dominating a weak conference and for almost beating the Huskies, U Conn and U Dub versions. Almost.

Coach Chipmunk pursed his pursed lips and cussed out some officials because Morrison only had 27 free throws in the conference tourney final. Obviously coach C's phone calls to Andy Katz prior to the final went unreturned, or that travesty would never have occurred. Perhaps it is because Katz got hurt when Coach C walked around a corner too quickly, which broke Katz's nose, but that's another story.

The Duke of the West, at least as far as popularity among rival fans goes, now attempts to avoid a fourth straight early flameout as they struggle to transform from Cinderella to the step sister "Over-rated Seed."

Look for another flameout.
The National View - Duke got to hand pick their region and filled it with stiffs, leaving all the good teams to play in the Washington Region. When Oregon State and Washington State got the 2nd and 3rd seeds in Duke's region, the conspiracy theorists were out in force again, claiming that Duke gets all the breaks, Look for the Dukies to advance to the Final Four. Dick Vitale's seat on the end of the Duke Bench was sold to a customer, so it'll be interesting to see if his continued fawning over Coach K will be reduced to a simple sainthood anointment.

Villanova and Memphis will not advance, since they have to play real teams. Memphis may have to play UCLA in Oakland, after playing Arkansas in Dallas. The Bruins just may sneak in to the Final Four, which would be a nice way to build a tradition at the school best known for Women's Softball national titles. It is about time that the Bruins do something in basketball, where they have next to no tradition. Trust us, we are experts in this college basketball stuff and everything, Cal and Arizona look like early outs and we predict that the Huskies (which one?) will win the Washington Region and that Ohio State will come out of Minneapolis. The Buckeyes are fresh off avoiding any real penalties yet again for basketball violations committed to get their last trip to the Final Four.

Man those Buckeyes sure know how to pay players and get away with it, don't they? College athletics sure bring out the purity of sport and all that is good.

Sticking with a theme, the Huskies will win the National Championship. UConn in men's basketball and Washington in women's volleyball.
Notes: The PAC Ten is stuck with FOX for another ten years or so of bad broadcasts and no national attention...Steve Physioc and his inappropriate YELLING at the wrong time have driven many to drink or worse...Todd Turner still needs more of your money....Ty Willingham is still the football coach and UW does indeed still have a football team.....Spring Ball will follow March Madness and America's Sport will be a couple months closer...in the meantime enjoy the hoops!

Thanks for Reading – Race

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