DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

IN THIS ISSUE: Dawgs beat Dogs in street fight - Ducks win routine game against Oklahoma - Trojans shuck Cornhuskers - Did anyone catch the Cougar score? - Pac 10 routs Big XII - Michigan is back!


Smash this mouth, Pat Hill
Race Bannon

The Washington Huskies spent last week hearing about the blue collar, hard working, and smash mouth Fresno State Bulldogs who will play anyone and lose to anyone, anywhere. Filled with moral defeats against USC and Oregon, the Dogs came to the Dawghouse ready to beat up on alleged Pac 10 bottom feeder, Washington.

A funny thing happened on the way, the Washington Huskies stood up and defended their home turf with a big assist from the faithful in attendance at legendary Husky Stadium and beat Fresno 21-20 to move to 2-1 on the season. A bowl game is now the goal as the Huskies completed their best non conference season in years. A 4-5 league record will be the minimum requirement and it can and will happen.

The game proved once again that winning covers a multitude of sins. The schizophrenic special teams once again had great punting and placement kicking, horrible return coverage and average returns, but swung the grade to A Plus with a game winning extra point block in the 4th quarter. A key coaching change inserted Caesar Rayford and his 7 foot wing span onto the block team.

The defense did not stop the run well and allowed Fresno to drive the field for the would be tying touchdown, but did hold Fresno to 20 points which is an excellent performance for this squad.

In a classic chicken or egg quandary, did the FSU QB make us look good or did our defense make him look bad? Since we won, and since we have made all stars out of nobodies for years now, we're going to give the credit to our defense and the oft maligned Kent "Teddy" Baer.

DFI legend Isaiah Stanback stood tall and single handedly led the otherwise struggling offense to one more point than Fresno, which is the goal of any sporting event. The Huskies have now won two games that went to the wire as they reverse the curse of collapses from years gone by. Stanback made the right reads, ran with authority and was remarkably accurate throwing the ball. His efforts overcame the worst game by the O line this season and some mundane running by the backs and drops by the receivers.

Winning cures all ills, and makes blind enthusiasts of us all as we enthusiastically look forward to reversing the curse of the Uclans as we welcome them to suddenly fearsome Husky Stadium for a twilight game Saturday next.

This winning stuff is fun, let's do it again.

PREDICTION: UW 30, UCLA – 27
Lucky Ducks cheat way to victory
Mallard N. Moore

First of all, I don't write the headlines, so send the emails to Race Bannon, the poor loser who can't accept that Oregon clearly dominated Oklahoma and won the game easily and didn't need any help from the referees at all. That's how I saw it and Mike Bellotti agrees with me.

"I'm proud of the way my son hit that onside kick and even prouder of the way my other son ran the replay booth," commented Bellotti as he and Bill Moos put the last of the cash in the brief case for the officiating crew. "The Nike Officials Training Center has been a real boon for the Pac Ten, giving the league some expertly trained officials. This was probably the cleanest game since the Super Bowl, when it comes to making the right call."

The Sooners had a 30-20 lead and were driving inside the 10 well on the way to a symmetrical 37-20 lead that had Bannon cackling and guffawing as All Day Peterson ran over 200 yards through the soft underbelly of the Oregon defense. Thanks to some great officiating calls, OU was held to a field goal and Oregon was still alive.

Dennis Dixon then led the Ducks on an admittedly great and fast scoring drive to pull within 6 points with a minute left. Following a successful and non controversial onside kick the Ducks relied on several more good calls to score again and take the lead.

Then the Oregon special teams squib kicked to OU and forced OU to use up precious time as they nearly ran it all the way back.

"That was planned," said a giddy Bellotti as he had Bill Moos take down the name of the reporter who dared to ask such an insolent question.

Oklahoma wasted some time and the Oregon special teamers blocked the field goal try to preserve the victory.

There is great joy in Duckville today and the win isn't going to go away. Fat, drunk and 3-0 baby! The Huskies better strap it on for recruiting this year, because the Ducks are quacking. Oregon takes the week off to bask in the glow and enjoy a bye.
Highly paid Trojans smack Nebraska
Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III

I don't write the headlines either. Heck, USC would be among the small spenders in the SEC, where a hundred grand is just an opening bid for a top player like Reggie Bush.

The program out of control USC Trojans won their billionth game in a row at home as they whipped up on the Nebraska Cornhuskers, who found that their west coast offense wasn't ready for a west coast team.

"We're not concerned at all about unproven allegations made by some Yahoo," noted a defiant Pete Carroll as he made a mental note of how many witnesses needed to be paid off to make all this go away. "We are sure that the blue ribbon investigating committee headed by Judge Wadsworth II will whitewash the whole matter in a professional way that leaves no trail. We don't self report at USC, look what that did for Washington."

On the field there is some concern that USC only scored 28 points, but the Trojans can't be up for every game and they are replacing 22 first round draft picks, so it may take some time for the pieces to fall into place.

Next up is the Wrong Stoops and Arizona and an easy win for USC.

PREDICTION: USC 50, UA – 12
The Rest - Florida continues to be a mystery for Phil Fullmer and Tennessee even when Spurrior is gone…UF scored late to give Urban Legend his biggest win as Gator coach…LSU and Auburn combined for a whopping 10 points as Auburn won a game that set college football back several decades…OK, some folks like defense, but in this day and age it seems like no one can play pass defense…look at most games and you find burnt toast littering the field…Michigan smashed Notre Dame who remains BCS bound with two wins on the season…Lloyd Carr needed this one bad, as the Big Blue have been doing some Big Grumbling lately…Charles Weis was out coached and Notre Dame was beat up physically…Son beat Father as Clemson beat Florida StateMiami got run by Louisville 31-7…West Virginia ran Maryland worse…Big Least 2, ACC 0…Stanford unveiled their new stadium and lost to Navy as predicted here…ASU whipped Colorado and Dan Hawkins is now looking for a different eastern philosophy to impart to his team…by the way, Notre Dame Stadium claimed another receiver as a UM wide out broke his wrist on the wall that claimed a UW receiver…someone might want to fix that someday…all in all a great day for college football and a dark day for officiating…the 1919 World Series thinks the Oregon game stunk.

Thanks for reading and Beat UCLA! - Race

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