IN THIS ISSUE: Trojans one step away from Title Game - Ducks lose to Beavs again - Moos forced out in power play - Knight denies any involvement - Sooners win Big XII south as Horns stumble

Irish fall to Troy's Kiddies Brigade
Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III

Pete Carroll remains unbeaten in November and the USC Trojans won their 5th straight game against Notre Dame, 44-24, at the venerable Los Angeles Coliseum Saturday night.

The young and restless Trojans have been on a tear since a shocking loss at Corvallis to the State of Oregon champion Oregon State Beavers. Joe Don Joe Bobby Billy Joe Booty has come of age and the incomparable DeWayne Jarrett ran through the befuddled Irish secondary at will as the Trojans easily parlayed their massive talent advantage over Notre Dame into a easy and convincing win that should allow them to pass Michigan and move into the BCS championship game against Ohio State - as long as they don't over look their next opponent, whoever that is.

"I need time to get my own players in here, not that I would ever use that weak excuse," lamented Chuck Weis as he used that lame excuse to excuse his team's poor performance. "We need to get some talent in here to match my brilliant coaching," he concluded as he channeled apologists for coaches everywhere. When we say everywhere, we mean that we are not specifically pointing out any one group of apologists, Husky fans.

The over rated Brady Quinn was batted around by the Trojan D and pass defense remains a mystery to the Irish even after Kent Baer left.

All is not lost for Notre Dame, since they have been BCS bowl eligible since their third win of the season. They may get a chance to get killed by Michigan again in the Rose Bowl. Irish fans are lobbying for a shot at Boise State so they can end a major bowl victory drought that goes back to the Reagan administration. We think.

Irish fans are blaming Coach Willingham who commented that at least Weis didn't have to follow Rick Neuheisel and if Chuckles wants to see a real lack of talent, come to UW. Weis is 19-5 while Willingham is 7-16 for those scoring at home and scoring at home is always better than reading this rag. Space prohibits us from covering any further excuses for these two great coaches.

Notre Dame did beat Stanford this year.

UCLA is next in the LA City Championship, as if there is any doubt. The reeling Karl Dorrell just needs time to get his own players if he ever hopes to beat Pete Carroll who does indeed have all of his highly paid players in place and is ready to roll to Glendale to beat the Buckeyes.

Moos forced out in Palace Coup
Mallard N. Moore

"Moos, you blithering idiot, get in here!" screamed the maximum leader of the Ducks, Phil "the Shill" Knight. "How come the Civil War is in Corvallis every other year?" asked Knight as he thought back to how the home team has won that game ten times in a row.

"Just shut the %^&* up," shouted Moos as he realized in horror that he had said that out loud instead of just thinking it like he usually does.

And so the scapegoat for yet another late season collapse by the cheap tent Ducks of Oregon was found. Not Mike Bellotti who has completed his 4th losing campaign out of ten Pac Ten seasons, a 40% failure rate that has perked up Todd Turner's rather large ears.

Bellotti was relieved that Moos took the bullet and quietly told reporters that he needs time to get his own players at Oregon. The Rich Brooks country club culture still permeates the Plasma Center Athletic Complex at Eugene.

The battling Beavers came back from the dead after a home loss to the woeful Cougars of WSU to close out the season strong, and lock up a Sun Bowl berth.

Oregon collapsed like a cheap lawn chair and is now 7* - 5, with only a cheating replay booth between them and an overall losing season. The Ducks will likely get some minor bowl and might even win it.

Bill Moos leaves a proud legacy of accomplishment at Oregon that Bellotti will now take credit for. Autzen Arena was expanded without 25 blog entries explaining why it wasn't expanded. The football budget is huge, the locker rooms and facilities are palatial and the team remains mediocre.

Bellotti was quick to praise Moos for the Fight for your Seat night promo, the tickets for rent scam for recruits, the forged LOI that landed Oregon on probation, and various other unsavory and risky schemes that failed to win a Rose Bowl.

Moos, who graduated from Olympia High with Bannon's sister, is a favorite among many Husky fans to be the next Husky AD, so he too can become a regular reader of this magazine.

Many of those same Husky fans hope that Bellotti stays forever as the UO head coach. Someday a UW coach with an average amount of talent will own UO once again, just as it should be.

The Ducks now focus on not losing the few top commits they have to Cal and Tedford, who has denied any interest in the UO coaching job despite the screwing he is getting from Cal and the Bezerkley City Council. Tedford has quietly told reporters that he just needs time to get his own players at Washington.
The Rest: - Texas lost it's third game of the season, this one to A&M…despite beating OU, the Horns will not be in the Big XII title game…Texas boosters may give Mack Brown another shot next year…he did just win the national title… Brown has quietly told reporters that he just needs time to get his own players at Texas…Jim Mora Jr. is on the hot seat at Atlanta in the NFL…Mora has quietly told reporters he just needs time to get his own players at Washington…He'd make a great defensive coordinator somewhere while waiting for the top job to "become available".…And how about those Sooners…given up for dead after the replay fiasco, they are one win away from a BCS bowl…Oklahoma v. Nebraska…a certain magic still lingers when you say those names…for our 15 minute attention span addled nation, the 71 OU – NU game made last week's Big Ten over hyped match up look like an under card fight…ESPN – Everything that is Wrong with Sports on one network…it is conference championship Saturday…who cares, wake me up when USC plays Ohio State.

We may inflict further issues on an unsuspecting public at any time. You've been warned and thanks for reading! – Race. Top Stories