DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

In this issue: - Huskies impress in scrimmage - Season set for openers - Pac 10.

Huskies shine in rainy scrimmage
Race Bannon

We would like to ask all non-Husky fans and any scouts for our opponents to stop reading now as we cover the open practice that was held at an undisclosed location at a secret date and time.

Those looking for inside information should contact my agent and make the requisite deposit to my off shore account and then wait for further instructions.

We won't cover the fact that the Huskies run to the right 78.6% of the time on 2nd and medium on Saturdays that don't begin with an S. Nor will we reveal the fact that UW will run a wishbone this year with Ronnie Fouch at quarterback and Locker and Bonnell as the halfbacks.

We kid Coach Willingham because we care. It was in fact, a great day to get out and see some football as we anxiously await the season opener at Syracuse. With that in mind, here's what we saw:

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And that about covers it. In a nice, fan friendly touch, after the work out, Jake took a plate of bread and a basket of fish sticks and fed the assembled multitudes.
Pac 10 Preview
Race Bannon

Projected Final Standings

Washington: 9-0 13-0 - Didn't you read our last issue?
California: 8-1 11-1 - Bears stymied once again
USC: 7-2 10-2 - Carroll feeling the hot seat
UCLA: 6-3 9-3 - Bruins only 3 wins away
ASU: 5-4 8-4 - Erickson era underway
UA: 4-5 7-5 - Stoops get huge extension
Oregon State: 3-6 6-6 - Reilly is coach of the year
Stanford: 2-7 2-10 - Harbaugh is runner up
Oregon: 1-8 1-11 - Thank goodness for the Cougs
WSU: 0-9 0-12 - They should have beat the Ducks
Season Openers
This information is provided for entertainment purposes only and is not to be used by any NBA referees.

Utah at Oregon State: Thursday August 30
Eager Beavers anxious to continue rare winning ways. Mountain West member Utah is not able to compete with Pac 10 teams week in and week out according to Bellotti.
OSU – 32, Utah – 16

Washington at Syracuse: Friday August 31
The Huskies make a rare appearance on crystal clear ESPN HD as the Locker era gets underway. ESPN to run a series matching Jake Locker in computer match ups against Joe Montana and Dan Marino to see who is the greatest virtual quarterback of all time. Huskies to open with a win.
UW – 17, Syracuse – 13

Houston at Oregon: Saturday September 1
We double checked and this is not a misprint. Oregon is playing a Division 1 team to open the season. Ducks are looking to bounce back from annual late season collapse. Wait for it……Wait for it..….3……..2……..1……and Stewart tweaks hammy.
Houston - 45, Oregon – several interceptions

Tennessee at California: Saturday September 1
Cal is looking for revenge over the Vols, who are making a rare SEC appearance west of the Mississippi. Un remodeled Protest Stadium should be packed with hippies chained to trees as leftist elements continue to fight Jeff Tedford's efforts to bring big time football to the bay. Tedford vows to fight to the death, or at least until there is hot water in the coach's shower.
Cal – 31, Rocky Top – 21

WSU at Wisconsin: Saturday September 1
Badgers are looking for revenge for all those Bennetts ending up in Pullman. Cougars are looking for respect. As usual, there is none to be found. Bill Doba is a great guy.
Wisconsin - 42, WSU – 2 six packs
Southland Report
Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III

UCLA and Stanford open the Pac 10 season on Saturday the 1st. New Cardinal coach Jim Harbaugh finally gets down to coaching after an off season of self-serving moralizing about the evils of big time football at places like Michigan and USC compared to the idyllic pursuit of higher learning that is found at Stanford.

The Bruins, who are a trendy pick for the national championship based on their shocking win over the Trojans last December, have to overcome several off season arrests. No, not their players, but their coaches.

Ben "Mrs." Olsen is back at quarterback for the powder blue and the Bruins are loaded with top recruits that USC didn't have room for.

Stanford is, well, Stanford. Look for a big Bruin's win.

Meanwhile at the main event, the Idaho Cougars leave the comfort of their home at Martin P. Vandal Stadium to venture into the Coliseum to be mauled by the Trojan gladiators.

"We wanted a warm up game to prepare us for our final fall scrimmage and Idaho was willing to come down here and give it to us," explained Pete Carroll as he faced a withering inquisition for scheduling such an obvious patsy.

"Besides, LSU was booked," chuckled Carroll as he thought of Les Miles busting several veins in his forehead when he got wind of the comment.

Look for USC to break the 80-point mark.

The Rest: As always, the Arizona schools will play someone…it's the best weekend of the year as college ball gets underway and the NFL doesn't…look for several big games on a TV set near you…we'll watch them all so that you don't have to.

Thanks for reading – Race

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