<b>IN THIS ISSUE: <I>Dreaded Trifecta Hits On Saturday</I></b><ul> <li>Dawgs lose, Cougs and Ducks win</li> <li>Bruising Bears Bust Streak</li> <li>Area suicide hotlines jammed by Husky callers</li> <li>Troy falls to Cougars</li> <li>Ducks thrive in rare road game</li> <li>Historic first inside this issue!</li></ul>

Streak? What streak?
Race Bannon

An inspired group of Cal Bears, swearing that they had no knowledge of the past, stormed into placid Husky Stadium on Saturday and beat up the hometown heroes, leaving with a 34-27 win, and leaving doubt and despair in their wake.

Outside the Bear locker room after the game you could hear them chant, "75,000 disappointed fans. 75,000 disappointed fans." Ouch.

Cody Pickett managed to throw for 399 yards while not being sharp, and an injured Reggie Williams tasted frustration and pain from an aggressive Cal defense that took full advantage of the usual keen officiating that one finds in the Pac 10 conference.

The Husky offense was disjointed, and seemed to forget that they have a plethora of options besides Reggie, and need to go that route when opponents gang up on Reggie. I counted 24 passes to the guy in Purple wearing #1. No, not Jafar Williams.

Your faithful correspondent is as big a homer as there is, even garnering criticism from up and down the west coast for my controversial views on Canine superiority. Yet even I grow discouraged at our inability to execute some sort of defense. It is clear that we will have to outscore teams, so we had better fix the red zone offense in a hurry.

But, as is our custom, we want to give full credit to Jeff Tedford, perhaps the brightest of the Bellotti spawn, and his staff, and the Bear players who clearly won the battle of the trenches, the defenses, and the coaching. Game, set, match.

Head Coach Rick Neuheisel finds himself backed into the tightest corner since his first two games here ended in a loss. We look for him to respond accordingly, injecting a much-needed sense of urgency into all who are associated with the team, which would be coaches and players for our foreign readers.

Or we could just look at the football message board here on, the most popular website covering UW athletics, and see that our fans believe that everything is fine as long as we fire someone. Give it time, Pete Carroll will soon be available.
Trojans blow game to Cougars
Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III

Editor's note: Rob Bobertson hasn't been seen since he entered the Coug after the game Saturday night. We thank our special Los Angeles correspondent, on leave from his 12-year investigation of the Husky jobs program for filing this report.

Pete Carroll proved to be totally incompetent to run the storied Trojan program, as he led USC to only their 8th defeat in history against Washington State. Yes, that is "State" on the end.

Throwing the ball around like BYU (50 times!!!), the Trojans stuttered at the end. You would think that they hired the former offensive coordinator from BYU. Oh wait, I guess that was Norm Chow up in the booth after all. "Tailback U" is now Dump Off Pass U, and Trojan fans join with their Husky rivals in bemoaning the end of power football on the West Coast.

Gesser and company combined for over 500 yards and gashed the previously impenetrable Troy Defense. USC had the game in hand, but special teams cost them again. Of course, all coaches should be fired immediately. Bob Toledo could be a likely replacement, and should be available soon.
Beavers are our basement mates
Race Bannon

Editor's note: Benny B. Eaver should be able to rejoin us in 5-10 years, according to the Judge. Mr. Eaver apologizes for his role in the post game fight.

With Duck and Cougar fans running roughshod this week, we commiserate with our sometime allies from Corvallis. The fast turf of the home field did revive the Beaver offense, but the heretofore much praised Beaver defense allowed the mysterious Bruins to roll up a big lead, and ultimate win.

We remind our friends to the south that championships aren't won in October, but any more slip-ups and they sure can be lost.

Then it's time to replace the coaching staff. John Mackovic could be available soon, give it time.
Ducks roll Wildcats behind the Big 0
Mallard N. Moore

In an expected development, the Ducks cruised to an easy win over Arizona at Bear Down Field at Lute Olsen Stadium. Onterrio Smith showed Husky and Trojan fans how nice it could be to have a running game, and the Jason Fife legend grew again as the cool former schoolyard phenom showed none of the road fear that other quarterbacks in the state of Oregon did.

Oregon is so far ahead of Washington now that it is not even funny. My advice to the Huskies? Cancel your trip for November 16 – pain and humiliation await you at Autzen.

Editor's note: Mallard, quit goading and go negotiate a new deal for Akili Smith.
The Week Ahead
Race Bannon

Oregon travels to UCLA for their annual hoodwinking of Bob Toledo and his gang of mysterious Bruins. The Bruins probably still think they have better players, and probably still think they should win, but they are home dogs this week. In addition, Mike Bellotti can still coach circles around the rotund Toledo, who was last seen at this game last year fleeing the post game press conference through the window after explaining why he went backwards 10 yards to set up the game losing missed field goal. Something about LSD and giant spiders, as we recall.

UO – 31, UCLA – 23

Washington State has the uneasy head that wears the crown this week as the darling of the league. The Cougars hope to avoid the fate that has befallen past darlings, California, Oregon State, and USC. We wish we could anoint Oregon this week, but will wait until they beat UCLA, and Stanford ambushes the Cougs? Uh, never mind, the crown is safe for now.

WSU – 56, Buddy Ball – 24

Oregon State faces ASU in a do or die game in Tempe. ASU has quietly put up huge offensive numbers, and may just insert the final nail into the Beaver flask of championship aspirations.

ASU – 32, OSU – 31

Arizona visits Husky Stadium, the latest team to hope to kick some sand in the face of the formerly feared Montlake Monsters. In an historic first, at no extra charge, we pick against the Huskies, in an effort to change their luck by using my bad luck in predicting games. It made sense when I thought of it. Bobby Wade's three 80-yard touchdowns overcome John Anderson's six field goals.

Arizona – 21, UW – 18

And finally . . . from the desk of misery loves company: Florida dropped their second game of the year to a team that the Ball Coach could rout with his second string.......Texas A&M, often hailed as a bastion of defense, gave up 471 passing yards and lost to in-state rival Texas Tech......Gary Pinkel came oh so close to beating Oklahoma, but got hoodwinked on a special teams play........Miami only beat UConn by 34 points, and it was not basketball but football. Worried fans wonder if the Canes will be good enough to beat any other team on the schedule....Hi Tom Ramsey….Texas hung on to beat OSU by a mere two points, but Mack Brown pointed out that his recruiting class was already much better than OSU's......Barney lost to USC who lost to K State, who lost to Barney....the world turns and the Huskies will get their turn...keep the faith and support your local team.

Thanks for Reading!!! – Race
Race Bannon can be reached at Top Stories