Autzen - the house the Huskies built?

The rumors are swirling around newly remodeled Autzen Arena like vultures around the disintegrating Duck football season. Our crack staff of operatives has been tracking down stories of funny business during the construction of the new seats at Autzen.

For those of you not familiar with the story, the Oregon Ducks spent 100 million dollars of borrowed money to increase their capacity from 8th in the league, to 8th in the league. This was the largest construction project in the area since the original Autzen was built for 1,000 Green Stamps and several cereal box tops. Since the scope was beyond the capabilities of any local firms, Oregon was forced to look to Seattle for help, as always.

The stories first appeared this past summer, as a mysterious source revealed that the steel I-Beams used in the construction may have had a special message on them. Our operatives have learned that these beams contain cryptic messages such as – Go Dawgs! Further investigation revealed that the names of the legendary 1991 National Champion Husky team are on the beams as well.

The Duck Ministry of Propaganda has vehemently denied that such subterfuge could be possible behind the Iron Feather of Eugene, run brutally by Strongman Mike Bellotti. Phil Knight has vowed to rip down the addition and pay for it's rebuilding just to prove that no Canine Spirit infests his legacy. Duck fans shift uncomfortably in their seats at the thought of what lurks beneath. Will the hand of Steve Emtman appear to rip their hearts out through their throats; the way many a Husky defensive lineman has ripped a Duck quarterback to shreds.

If you feel the stadium shake after a magnificent Husky play, is it the late, great Jamie Fields doing the Compton Quake? If the dog biscuits a Duck fan has brought to throw at Rick Neuheisel suddenly disappear, will Dave Hoffman be found with a grin on his face and crumbs on his chin? Will the only National Champions to be found at Autzen be our beloved 1991 team? Does the chant of CCCC----WWW ring through the moonless nights when no one is around to hear?

Did some UW frat boys invade Autzen Stadium one fine summer night? Is it urban legend or fact? Will Geraldo Rivera be seen in 20 years trying to dig up Sonny Sixkiller's 'peace' pipe ala Al Capone? Are Husky legends truly embedded in the Ducks' hallowed slab of concrete?

The unidentified purple and gold ringleader had this to say about the supposed shennanigans. "It may go down as an urban legend but be assured that there are many satisfied Husky fans here."

And we can thank Race Bannon and his 'crack' staff for digging into this and coming up with a DFI exclusive. We've also been told (top-secretly, of course) that Officer Lee Groinman will be showing up in Eugene shortly to put the finishing touches on this slobberknocker of an investigation. ($1 to Hugh Millen)

All we can tell you is that we are convinced of the truth of this matter, but due to security concerns we can only reveal bits and pieces of the puzzle. The truth remains buried beneath the concrete of Autzen, and in the Husky Archives, where they are sealed until the year 2052. But when strange bounces favor the Dawgs this week, and the scoreboard shows yet another home loss for the Ducks at their new stadium, Rrrrosie the Rrrriveter will be smiling!

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