(West) Virginia will see you now

She once sat at the spinster table, spent and trying to recapture that youthful edge of an earlier time. A make over later, she's mature, confident and fielding calls off the hook.


"Yeah, hey, it's Pat. Hey, hey, you know you're my first choice, baby, to go to the New Year's ball with next year. Giggidy, giggidy, you're all grown up."

W. Ginny: "Thanks, Mr. Forde. I mean, I appreciate it. But it's kinda a distraction. I am seeing others first."

"Oh, I know, I know! But that's small time. It's Pat, right here. You dig the hair, babe? OK, ok, just answer one thing. Is this for real?"

"It's real, and it's spectacular."

Riiiiiiiinnnng. "Hello?"

"It's me! I'm back in your area! Let's get together, it'd be awesome, baby!"

"Aren't you, like, dating Carolin… "No, it's her sister, Cameron. Oh, she's so craaaazy, I love that little devil. I love her, I love her…"

"Listen, uh, Dick: You haven't called since our date seven years ago."

"Yeah, but I chose you over that Husky girl, remember? Oh, it was a prime time, it was! You're no diaper dandy now! Let's see each other again – tonight. Then maybe later I can come back to your place…


Riiiinng. "C'mon, give my guy a chance!"

"Mr. Phelps, you've dug your own grave. You wanted that Dame to go to the Big Dance in my spot up until the final moment last year! Don't call again." Click.



"Gin, it's Mike T. I used to pal around with a friend of yours, the tall guy? We had that night in Miami until Kellen stepped in."

"Hi Mike. You know I didn't like Kellen. I left with Quincy. Anyway, aren't you married to Syrah?"

"Ms. Cuse? Naw, I was just callin', eh, ‘cause I'm big time now. I work the professional circuit. And I'll be in town for those weekday games you have. You know you party on the weekdays, too, sugar."

"I got another call. Hang on. Yep?"

"It's Mike T."

"Must not have gone through. Hang on agai…"

"No, another Mike T. Your event planner?"

"Yes, Michael, been wanting to call. I am busy right now. Everybody's callin'. I'll be quick. You really ought to rethink your scheduling, dance with the one who brought you."

"I apologize. It's just the money. These weeknight gigs bag us some cash."

"I don't care. I have fans, Mike. Fans who travel to see ME. I'm a consecutive three-time Fall Ball winner and right now your best shot for the Big Dance. If it's in the cards for you to have a slice o' Papa Johns with whatshername, fine. But know where the goods are."

"Yes, Yes. I know, and I want to thank you again. That win over Georgia was sweet."

"She's a great one, quite the belle. But when it came to the specialty events, she was a dog. I gotta run. Bye Mike."


"Hey all. It's Lee. Let's make up, doll. Let's leave the past where it is."

"You must have forgotten I hate you. You even picked Virginia T. over me. That greasy, no-good…"

"Oh, but we had a great time doing the Hokey Pokey. Kirk liked her, too, and that getup she wore."

"Well, consider Kirk's taste. I'm off."

"Wait, no so fast my frie…"

Click. Ring.

"It's Robert. I just wanted to say again how impressed I was with your performance. It's orderly, it's intelligent. Hold on a second…Hey! I'm on the phone!! Quiet! I am sick of this stuff. That's it, I've had it, I've had it!" Slam!

Ring, ring.


"It's Ernie S. Is Marsha home?"

"Ernie, this obsession is unhealthy. You have to let it go. Bob finally did."

"Joe didn't! Oh, Marsha's so pretty. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Prettier than you!" Click.


"Hello?" "Hey, it's Syrah. Has Mike called? I have not seen him for awhile. You know, blemishes and all. I used to be the best, I used to be a contender."

"Um, yes, Syrah, I haven't heard from him. I'll see ya in a few weeks."


"Hello. It is Miss Virginia. I wished to express my apologies and condolences for "stealing" your three friends. We have had a simply dreadful time. Gin T. with assault and battery. I think Miss South Beach has a drug problem. And the girl from Boston isn't good at anything!"

"Could've told you that. Your loss, you snoody little…Somebody's on the other line. Bye now. Hello?"

"Hey, it's Missi."

The older one?

"No, the one from State U. With the pet Bulldog? Just called to say that we're still on for early October. I know some people have been backing out, you being the prettiest now and all."

Thanks, Missi. I appreciate that.

Riiing. "Mary! How are you?"

"Fine. Hey, Gin, I called to say that I can't make a few of our upcoming dates. I'm seeing some west coast guy. It's just…easier."

"Not Jack N.!?"

"Well, it is a Golden Bear. I don't want to, really. But Ralph says I have to."

"You gotta drop that fattie. He's starting to become a loser. So are you. Better be careful." Click.


"Hi, Gin. It's Mike P. Just wanted to say congrats on all the success. Maybe we can get together, have a pepperoni roll. I'd like that."

"Mike, nothing against you. It's just that I don't like anybody in your company. I think I'll go at it alone for awhile."

Riiiinnnnggg. "It's Tony."

"Hey, congrats on the new Monday job. That's great."

"Not that Tony. I have the Monday basketball show, though. It's kinda, um, a big deal lately."

"Ah, Tony. We still on for tonight?"

"Nine p.m. sharp. It'll be a Zoo."

"As long as John B. comes. I'll see you there."


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