Not these Badgers, who produced quite a show for a watchful nation by hazing No.8 Nebraska, 48-17, in the Cornhuskers' initiation to Big Ten Conference football under the Saturday night lights of Camp Randall Stadium.
Head coach Bret Bielema used to joke UW, which has won 28 of its last 31 night games, was the homely girl in class who still found a way to be asked to the dance.
Behind senior quarterback Russell Wilson's heroics, which have clearly rubbed off on the likes of Montee Ball, Nick Toon, Jared Abbrederis and pretty much anybody else wearing red, the seventh-ranked Badgers (5-0, 1-0 Big Ten) are as attractive as ever.
"Oh, we're sexy," Bielema said. "I still believe that we're Wisconsin, and what we are is extremely good right now."
Wilson was again brilliant, completing 14-of-20 yards for 255 yards and a pair of scores while also adding 32 rushing yards and a third touchdown.
Even Michael Vick was tweeting in awe of Wilson's performance. Chances are many national beat writers, Heisman voters and the 81,384 fans in attendance were similarly wowed in person.
Wilson's five-game streak of multiple touchdown passes is the longest in school history. Not bad for a guy who joined the program a matter of months ago.
"He puts the ball in places that no one else can get it," sophomore wide receiver Jared Abbrederis said. "When someone's doing good, it really encourages the rest of the guys to put their best foot forward and make plays."
Ironically enough, UW senior cornerback Aaron Henry compared Wilson to the Philadelphia Eagles' All-Pro dual threat.
"He may not be as fast as Michael Vick, but the kid is an amazing quarterback," Henry said. "Russell's game speaks for itself."
Ball rushed for 151 yards and four touchdowns - bringing his total to 29 scores in his last 11 games - including a 1-yard run in which he bowled over three of the No. 8-ranked Cornhuskers' famed blackshirts.
Wilson wasn't pinpoint on all his throws, but Toon and Abbrederis made him look good with highlight-reel catches. The duo combined for nine catches, 189 yards and touchdown receptions of 36 and 46 yards.
"We got a lot of explosive players," Abbrederis said. "In camp, that was one of our goals, to be an explosive offense. We're just trying to do that every week." Among Bielema's favorite sayings is "it's not what happens, but how you react to it," and the Badgers didn't have any opportunities to react to anything substantial in non-conference yawners entering Saturday's "College GameDay" closeup.
Wisconsin hadn't so much as trailed all season until Abbrederis fumbled a first-quarter punt to give Nebraska (4-1, 0-1) a short field, and quarterback Taylor Martinez put the Cornhuskers on the board with a 1-yard scamper.
Then a short kick return and ensuing penalty pushed back Russell Wilson's troops, following an ineffective first drive, inside their own 10-yard-line.
That's when, pursued by pressure for the very first time, the Badgers responded with a 9-play, 91-yard touchdown drive. The Cornhuskers retook the lead on Rex Burkhead's score early in the second, but that was merely semantics preceding 34 unanswered points by the defending Big Ten champs.
"I'm embarrassed by how we played defensively," Nebraska coach Bo Pelini said. "I apologize to the fans of Nebraska, because that was a joke, plain and simple."
Nebraska's hopes of surviving a shootout were dashed when Martinez's poorly-thrown balls were intercepted by Mike Taylor, Henry and Antonio Fenelus on three out of four possessions, and UW converted all three turnovers into touchdowns.
"When we go out and play clean, play our game," Toon said, "it would be hard for anyone in the country to beat us."