On the 12 days of Christmas my true love cooked for me….
1) A smoked duck smothered in pear glaze.
2) Two turtle brownie ice cream sundaes...or more.
3) Three French hens. What? Chickens are delicious no matter their nationality.
4) Four call-in pizzas. Desperate times call for a few Christmas pies.
5) Fiiiiiiiive Onion Rings!
6) Six goose-laid egg omelettes. Believe it or not, goose eggs can be used just like the chicken eggs available at any grocery store. It may require some searching, but these massive beauties are well worth it.
7) There are an obscene amount of birds given in the original song and there isn’t much of an explanation for this generous, special someone. However, to pair something with the omelettes go with seven biscuits swimming in gravy!
8) Eight maids with milkshakes. Maids not included.
9) Nine dancing salmons! This one may seem a little strange, but think of all the team dancers and cheerleaders out there performing during the holidays. The number one suggested protein for these ladies is (you guessed it) salmon. Do the dancer in your life a favor.
10) Ten bowls of popcorn. While salmon arguably leap much better than popcorn, when that kernel reaches its tipping point it takes to the air like Calvin Johnson bringing down the game-winning catch. My true love is probably sleeping at this point anyway.
11) 11 piping-hot pigs in a blanket. Hot dogs are the most pipe-looking foods out there. Case closed.
12) 12 drumsticks-a-drumming! Whether it’s chicken or turkey everybody loves sinking their teeth into a big ol’ drumstick. There’s a drummer boy in all of us.
From everybody at Tailgater Magazine, we hope everyone has a safe and delicious holiday. Spend it with the ones you love and those who appreciate your cooking skills!